Never had a boyfriend: what is wrong with me ?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship, never been asked out etc.. I have zero experience when it comes to guys. I've been hit on, flirted with and eventually noticed some guys being interested in me but still nothing above this. And I don't understand what it is about me that is so repelling to guys?

I am not ugly. I am pretty fit physically (well I'm not fat or overweight and have a pear body type) I don't put on any make up because I don't think it makes me prettier but I still take care of myself, and I dress rather casually. Concerning my personality, I am quiet, and reserved. I don't talk a lot to people I don't know but still if people talk to me, ask for help, or opinion, I'd gladly talk/help them. I am rather independent, in that I don't mind doing a lot of things alone. Also I am more the intellectual serious type who is interested in just about anything than the drama emotional type of girl. However once I know people, I love joking around and laughing with them. Also even if it takes time, I usually get on well with a wide variety of people.

I asked a guy friend about this and he told me he didn't know why I had no one. He just mentioned that back in the day when we were both in high school he always assumed I wasn't interested in a relationship and I feel like a lot of people just assume this about me.

It doesn't bother me this much. I am currently working hard on something important so I don't really have the time to go around and meet new people. To be honest my contact with the outer world aare rather limited right now but when I see how girls I know get boyfriends easily and are in long committed relationship, I wonder what it is that I do that is a complete turn off so that no one has ever asked me out ever ?

So do you have any idea? What are the typical behavior that you consider to be a complete turn off?

[JonnyGR]

Well, I barley skimmed through your explanation of yourself, but I did see from the questions list, a paragraph that stated, you were attractive, guys have hit on you and noticed you... etc...

But if that's the case it just seems you know what you want, and your not going to settle for anything less, which I personally respect. I'm in the same situation as you, just 3 years younger.

If you want to be more involved in relationships, be more social, extroverted maybe even, just to be in contact with guys more often, therefore more likely you'll meet a guy that appeals to you.

If your happy how you are, I don't know why this concerns you - if guys hit on you, and notice and advance on you, then your obviously appealing physically, dress sense wise even and maybe even personally - since I'm not quite aware when they approach you etc.

Sorry I didn't read all your information. I feel I made enough of an assumption as it was, but I'm not one for reading a lot. I find it to even answer since I know I'm going to be very thorough.

But your appealing to guys obviously - so why worry? Because of criticisms? People who date a lot of people, are just more content with having new experiences... You how ever just want a specific experience - which requires a specific guy. No one is entitled to criticize because everyone has different approaches - just like people who have sex with a lot of people are criticized, because it just doesn't appear a 'social norm' hence why some people may approach this behavior with criticisms.

But them people aren't worth the concern. Because they obviously don't think about the world as a very transverse place. Everyone is different, approaches, behaviors, opinions. No one deserves criticism because that criticism would be coming from a source that can only have one idea of approaches, behaviors and opinions, and generally, if that was the case, nearly everyone would be criticized because everyone is so Different!

[rockingpianoman]

haha , well I guess I'm in the same boat as you , never seem to get it that little step further than flirting and small dates ... girl-friends of mine wonder why I'm still single saying I'm good looking smart and funny .. and I wonder what I do wrong :p ( it's not because I'm some total jerk or total wuss , I'm neither a freak :p )

Guess it's all about making clear that you are single , and you are lookign for a relationship by your actions ...

like for example I'm not really a guy who talks to women I didn't met before (I think players are disgusting) , but now I do when I'm out , and yes it gets me in contact with more girls , but if that's the ideal way I don't know...

one thing is sure if you are not out there you can't meet guys , and they can't meet you .. if you don't talk to them you won't meet them either...

[KERMlT]

Maybe you come off as desperate. It doesn't sound like you have good self-esteem. At least that beats being used.