Is it possible my boyfriend isn't attracted to me?
So, I met my boyfriend 7 months ago, we've been exclusive for 5. He travels a lot for work and can be gone for weeks at a time but he's great at... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
It's hard to tell. I think there maybe something on his mind which is making him act like this.
I wouldn't worry because It's nothing that you have done.
The best thing you can do is sit down and talk to him. Have a heart to heart. Let him know how you feel and ask him if there is anything he would like to talk about. Let him know that you care for him and that you are there if he needs you or if he ever wants to talk.
Call him or txt him and say that you would like to meet up so that you can talk.
It is the grown up way to deal with it and it is the only way you will find out.
If he does not want to talk, I know it is hard, but you need to accept it and move on. Don't reply to his txts or calls if he will not meet up with you and talk.
It will take time, but you can get over it and meet someone else who is interested and willing to give things a go.
What Guys Said 5
Some users say he's gay, but I seriously doubt that. I'm sorry you had to break it off with him, but I always said that the relationships that are true are the ones that triumphs through struggles, not shy away from them.
Not saying you didn't try to help, but being sexy and provocative isn't a very long term solution to a relationship. A long serious talk in the right place at the right time often patches things up, not PDAs and stilettos.
He had a reason to be the way he is because of past experiences. A cheating girlfriend hurts more than a cheating boyfriend because when a guy approaches you he thinks that you selectively chose him out of thousands of other guys. That he feels special because of that he'd be distraught when the girl that chose him cheated on him. Girls wouldn't really understand because they've never asked a guy out.
Without knowing the full story, I think you let a great guy slip away. I'd be surprised if you still don't think of him. You believe he's been loyal to you and I believe that too...and loyalty is hard to come by. When he wants to be your friend it really means he wants you, but isn't ready for a commitment...he just has a lot of trash he needs to sort out. If you want space that's fine...but you can't really have too much space where you won't sit down have an hour chat with him where you can get everything out in the open. I personally don't think you tried everything you could to help him and to keep him. Not saying the guy is 100% right either, cause he's not. But if you showed him a lot of emotional support then, I guarantee he would've shown that to you later on. PDAs and panties are not emotional support. As a guy I love that from a woman, more than sex and PDAs. Anyone can give PDAs, but emotional support never rusts.
I think I know what is happening here. I have this problem sometimes with gf's too. I get lazy and think that they like me enough already so I don't have to keep telling them how pretty I think they are or how I can't wait to see them after not seeing them for a little while. And his past might be playing a factor in it too. He is keeping his guard up for that "just in case" moment. You know what, you are doing the right thing here. Telling him what is wrong and then taking a break with no contact is the best thing to show him that you are not playing around. He needs to know that you aren't feeling appreciated or loved because of the way he is acting, and when he realizes how much he wants to be with you he will try and change his ways so that you can be happy with him again. If he keeps calling then tell him what you just told us and then tell him that he either needs to tell you what the problem is or change how he treats you, and then give him a certain amount of time before he can call you again. After you have gotten your space and have decided what you want to do, tell him your decision. Good luck.
A lot of that s... going around girl! My ex gf. was just like that! Exept she never called! Some people just can`t stand letting anyone stay close to them, I guess. Good luck!
This guy sounds like a control freak, I mean his passive aggressive behavior is all about control. He wants to keep you on edge, keep you chasing him, keep you focused on him as brushes you off and when you get close to walking away he comes on strong to prevent that. I'm telling you, most people are great when you first meet them and interact with them, but after about 6 months you can't BS anymore and you see them as they are. This guy's got issues and I'm sure they'd get worse over time. If you were doing all that with me, I'd nail you pure and simple - we'd have so much passion you'd be bursting with joy and glowing instead of moping around. So, seriously, there are plenty of guys out there like me and that are worth your time - don't spend one second with someone so cold and selfish. So yeah he had nice qualities, if he can't make you happy by being with him; let hm go to someone else that likes to admire his qualities and have their time wasted. The one thing that you should learn from this is that someone that your with needs to be making you happy every time you are with them, there is no lay over credit in that department. You shouldn't care about how good things used to be with him but be looking that you feel like crap every time you see him now. So enjoy the past times, but if he's no longer delivering you are free to be happy by yourself or with someone else, every second you waste being unhappy is a betrayal to yourself. Find guys that are just sparks in your life, that light your fire in all kinds of ways, and don't waste your time with anything less - life is too short. Once I guy steps down what they are doing for you, move on, don't waste time trying to recover something that isn't there. Be careful, actually try not to get sexually involved because it entails lots of who you are - but just adopt this attitude of no comprising in your life for everything including love and you'll find a guy that meets those expectations. Without those kinds of expectations, you'll always be settling for something less - and those expectations are applied on a per experience basis.
Ok I'm a guy so should understand him right?
Nope. Your guy confuses the hell out of me. It makes no sense! If you are trying to brush someone off you don't call and text them every day.
The only possible explanation I can think of is maybe he feels like he's getting too attached to you and is worried he will get hurt so is pulling away from the physical stuff. Guys can be all over girls until we actually really start to like them, then we worry we will get hurt and go distant. But I'm not convinced that's it.. the whole thing is pretty strange.
What Girls Said 6
Sometimes men purposely act like jerks to drive you away, and that sounds like what he is doing. It has nothing to do with you being attractive, it has to do with him wanting to be alone. It may not even have anything to do with you period. Is he having problems with his family or work? People normally act like that when they have other things on their mind. No matter what the issue here is, it sounds like he is unstable emotionally. You don't need to deal with that BS. Go and find yourself a REAL man who will give you the love and attention that you deserve.
He's probably gay and is having a hard time coming out of the closet. Sounds funny right? but I'm serious. How can he not find you attractive when you would look hot for him? No straight man can resist something like that. All these actions to me sound like he may be gay. Maybe that's also why he didn't like you to touch him in public. He was afraid that the gay community would see that and go back and tell his male crush.
He only tried to get you back because he lost you, not so much because he wants you. Men hate to lose, theyre very competitive. Being the selfish man that he is, he probably wanted to dump you whenever he was ready. Just like he only wanted sex when he was ready. Just don't be surprised if you see him one day holding hands with a man...
it seems like his past is still getting in the way of his happiness :(
Ok, so clearly he's got some weird things going on in his mind. And what your feeling is normal. My ex also didn't like PDA and it really took down my self esteem. He was still affectionate while we were alone but he was so against PDA that I began to think he didn't want people to know we were together.
This guy's issues clearly are deeper. Maybe he is gay or something. Unfortunately unless he tells you, you won't really be able to understand it. You just have to keep telling yourself you are beautiful, and him not saying that doesn't make you unattractive.
Honey he is even confusing me... maybe he thinks that you were cheating while he was gone? maybe... the only thing I can really tell you is try to talk to him talk to him about why he is being like this and tell him everything you said on here... he does seem pretty distant but shrugging you off like that and only wanting to have sex when he initiates it? that f***ed up... you need to explain to him that you know his ex cheated on him but the way he felt then is the way he is making you feel now... you're in pain and you have no idea what's going on and if you're in this relationship together then you have a right to know what the hell is going on and he shouldn't be leaving you out in the cold like that.