My boyfriend calls me horrible names

im 17 and he is 19 For some reason he's been getting progressively meaner and meaner to me. and he tries to control me too much. once we go into an argument and I finally exploded as asked why he's been acting like such a jerk all of a sudden and he said "well maybe if I wasn't with a ******* pig I wouldn't have to be" I could not believe he said that to me and I started to cry. I felt so stupid and embarrassed standing there crying in front of him and at first he even didn't do anything then hours later he came and apologized to me. but he isn't acting any different and the other day he grabbed my shoulders really hard over something small that I can't even remember. he continues with the mean names and talks bad about my friends and my mom. I don't understand why he became like this out of no where. but I love him and I can't help it. I keep telling myself that he'll go back to how he was before and this is just a horrible thing... I tried to talk to him and he said he really doesn't want to talk to me right now or something like that. I don't know what's wrong with him but he acts like its my fault. please help, advice ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Without knowing him or you, it's difficult to give you any exact reasons. However, a few red flags.

    First off, if it was just *once* that he did this, it *might* be explainable (but not necessarily acceptable). He could have just been having a bad day. However, I don't think this is the issue. He could just be a jerk and have been keeping it hidden in order to woo you. I think this scenario is a bit more likely.

    But what I think it really boils down to is the *control* aspect. I think he's always been very controlling, but taking his time in order to try and control you (or figure out how to do it effectively) and realizing you're not easily controlled. He therefore is resorting to more punitive and mean measures. My guess is he views you little more than property or a pet that needs to obey its master. Otherwise he'd be treating you a bit better.

    I could be mistaken, but I don't think so. Reason is, I find the name calling as such inexcusable. I think it's him showing his true colors, and he *will* resort to that in the future, or worse. :S And whatever he says, it's *not* your fault.

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What Guys Said 3

  • im with Jaycutler, if I saw this happening I wouldn't hesitate to kick him in the face at the end of that sentence as an example you stated.

    but that's not the right thing to do even though we all think it is. I highly Recommend to leave at once, No guy or girl has the right to talk down to his /her lover like that. NO form of abuse is acceptable in a relationship, physical or emotional.

  • what a loser..I would whoop his ass if I ever see this guy...first off his dating a minor and on top of that his acting like a douche..this guy deserve an ass whooping


What Girls Said 9

  • I'm trying to figure out why you haven't left him yet! You can do so much better! Don't let this man run all over you and abuse you ok? He's the one with the problem and he's blaming it on u. He isn't worth it at all

  • You should've dumped him at that very first comment. It does NOT matter whether he will go back or not, his actions toward you are unacceptable. Respect yourself enough to walk no matter how you feel about him. You'll meet a guy who you feel stronger for (promise) and he'd never dream of saying anything like that to you. This guy is majorly insecure, and if you keep putting up with it he'll put you in the hospital one day.

  • He's likely abusive and definitely an a**hole. Leave now, before it's too late.

  • He probably won't go back to that. Even if he did, it wouldn't be the same knowing he said those things to you. You should get out of that relationship, it sounds like it could escalate to being abusive (emotionally, verbally and physically.)

  • dump him. no thinking. just do it. id dump him the second time he said something totally unnecessary & disrespectful. id only give him two times because id be too shocked to be sure I heard him correctly the first time. he does not deserve a relationship, he needs a spanking & a therapist.

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