Girls: what's your opinion on your boyfriend being brutally honest?

[Anonymous]

Do you think he should be brutally honest and say you look like crap or on your shittiest days he would still call you beautiful/sexy/etc.

[jrose]

There is a reason it's called brutal honesty- it's used like a blunt instrument and without any sort of tact. Generally speaking, if you care about a person, you use brutal honesty sparingly because no matter how well intended it's going to hit a nerve because that's what it's designed to do. It should rarely if ever be used to comment on a person's appearance. It's more appropriate to wake a person up about poor choices they make that are really affecting their life negatively.

And yeah, we all have days where we look amazing and we have other days where we don't look great at all. But my boyfriend should like me for more than just how I look so even on a day when I'm deathly ill, my nose is all red, my eyes are swollen, and I'm in my oldest grungiest sweats he should be supportive, not dragging me down telling me I look like crap. When I look like crap, I KNOW it, but there's usually a reason for it. I'm feeling crappy (sick), I'm going through something rough emotionally etc. On those days the last thing I need is an insensitive person telling me "oh, by the way, you look like crap". It's just rude and inconsiderate coming from anyone (friend, family, boyfriend etc.).

If it's a situation where you're going somewhere that requires a little elegance and the girl is having one of those days, you should still use tact and suggest "hey, why don't you wear that blue dress, you look so amazing in that" instead of saying "that outfit looks awful".

That doesn't mean you have to always be telling me I'm beautiful on a day when I look horrendous, just treat me like you always do. I'm not a girl who needs constant flattery- I like sincere compliments and I know on an average day I look like an average girl. Save the beautiful and sexy comments for when you really mean them.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yep just be honest.

I'll tell him when he needs to go back to the gym, and stop wearing that hideous periwinkle shirt.

So long as he tells me when I'm getting chubby and how terrible I look in that dress.

I know when I look sh*tty on my sh*tty days, so I'll probably blow off any " you look sexy's or pretty's."

I mean come on dude.

My hair is all over my head, haven't washed my face, I'm exhausted looking, bloated, crampy -

Don't tell me what you think I want to hear - just go get me lots of chocolate and painkillers.

[Asker]

Okay lol, I'm just getting opinions but hey some girls might take offence even if they know they look like shet it's just one of those things lol.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

lol yea I'm sure they do. It's like, they want the guy to compliment them and such when they're at their worse because they think it makes the guy more noble for it. Like the, " I looked like crap and he said I was beautiful - isn't he wonderful :D"

Eh lol.

I value honesty above a confidence boost anyday :P

[LPLove]

well, don't ever offer a negative opinion unless you're asked. And if she does ask, I don't know haha. be like "you're always beautiful to me" or something. not so much lying, it's just that the majority of girls are so extremely sensitive and insecure, and telling her that she looks like crap could send her into a wave of panic

[Anonymous]

ummm

I am thinking she would not be your girlfriend for long

[AltTech]

I'm trying to figure out which question you're asking here...

[Asker]

Well for one your not a female and I'm asking how you would respond when your girlfriend or whoever says they look terrible or ugly. It's pretty much if you agree with them or say they look good or whatever.

[AltTech]

You are correct, I am not a female. Stunning observation skills. But I was referring to your title which sounds like you are asking opinions on girlfriends having a bisexual boyfriend.

[elements]

I think he meant "biased."

[Asker]

I forgive you. ;P

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

" stunning observation skills."

LOL I love your personality - such a smart ass...

[AltTech]

@ Lena, thanks. :)

@ QA, Terrific.

@ OsweetonessO, lol, thanks.

[bunnybunny]

Well just don't say anything on bad days unless they ask and if they do and feel self-consious, then say they look pretty as usual. If they insist they're terrible just be funny and joke by saying "Yeah you're a monster" and like smile, and put your arm around them (if you're like that.

[saelym]

People seem to mistake honesty for cruelty. My boyfriend is diplomatic if he thinks I'll be sensitive about something, and I make a point to let him know when I want complete honesty. Open communication is often key to avoiding being hurt.

[goflipaburger]

Honesty is not rudeness or bluntness. If my boyfriend can't differentiate between the three, we're simply incompatible.