So we're on a break.... now what?

[dwright1022]

I'm on a break with my boyfriend because things have fizzled out and I've constantly been thinking about what else is out there, and I think he could tell something was up so he agreed to the break.

It's only been 2 days and I'm overthinking more than I was before! Because now I have a week to decide if I want to be with this person. So basically my mind has been going crazy

One part of me misses my boyfriend and misses the comfort and companionship of talking to him everyday and having someone to help you with your problems and make you feel better. And to have someone that you know really cares about you. And to have someone to hang out with on the weekends and during the week when friends might not be around.

The other part of me realizes that there is a reason we are on a break. We weren't being intimate anymore and I felt like we were becoming friends more than boyfriend and girlfriend. And I also think if we end it now we would still end on good terms and maybe we can be friends. And if we end the relationship sooner rather than later then there is less pain in the long run...

side note: In his last relationship they didn't sleep together or really be intimate for 6 months and they tried to do stuff on Valentine's day and she told him she didn't love him anymore...

I don't want that to happen to us. And I would never want to hurt him like that.

Sounds like you're heading towards a break-up.

I think you could make it work and would be happy.

[Eiffelgirl21]

To me, if you are questioning this at all, then you shouldn't break it off. It will only make you feel bad in the end..About the 'what if's'...Break ups should come when you have plenty of time to think about it. Not a week. If he is pressuring you, then that is ridiculous..and not smart on his part. I don't know..You just siad you had a week to decide?

Anyway, anytime I am confused about something, I just keep my distance a little. I spend less time with him to see if I miss him and see how much I think about him. If you miss him and think about him a lot, then that should answer your question. However, those feelings just do not go away so suddenly..so it may take time.

Relationships take work. I see them more as a companionship than anything these days.

Maybe make a PROS and CONS list? And, if the important ones add up to be a plus, then stay with him? If they don't. then maybe you should ask for more time..or space.

I never recommend breaks. Only space. Where he doesn't know you are thinking about breaking up..So, there is no pressure.

[redhot0614]

By reading what you wrote, I think you already know what you want to do, you just want someone to confirm it for you. I would first like to point out that when you were describing why you missed him, you said having someone and not actually referred to him. That was the first red flag. The second red flag was that you do not want to hurt him like the last girl did. Staying with him to protect his feelings is not fair for you or him. You need to do what makes you happy and he deserves to be with someone that loves him as much as he oves them. I truly believe that there is someon for everyone and maybe he is that someone, maybe not but based on what I read, you both should see what is out there. If it is meant to be, it will be. You are still young and there is pletny of time in life to settle down. Have fun while you still can. No matter what you decide, remember, you should do what is best for both of you, not what won't hurt him. Love isn't easy but it shouldn't be questioned.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

If he's so great, I don't see a problem. Are you looking for "more passion and excitement" or something? Do you know that "passion" in the way that it is at the start of all relationships always dies ya? Then it's replaced with another type of passion that's not so... hmm I don't know how to describe it... I guess not as strong a feeling, but in reality it's a stronger type of passion/care/love/whatnot.

Tbh, though, if you really don't feel love for him and don't feel comfortable being with him, you're just wasting his and your time. It's a pity for the guy if he's really so great. And just seems to show "nice guys finish last"

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Whoops, I was hovering over your name and clicked something. Not sure what it did. Oh well.

But ya, you're also the one who talked about your friends engagement right? And that's when you started thinking about your relationship now ya? Or was that someone else.

[dwright1022]

Yeah I was haha. I'm trying to put that on the back burner though and try and evaluate my relationship to see what I want. I'm starting to think a week might not be enough time to do that though.

[dwright1022]

and to see what's best for both of us.

[nvestan]

I think it is a good idea to have a pause in a relationship even for a week because during this time you could evaluate your relationship and make a decision about the next move. thus you and your boyfriend realize if you love each other and would like to be together, make some corrections and move on.

Regarding companionship, friends can really be helpful and social media, dating web sites, or dating sites where you can chat with people, make friends. At least it helps me.

Well, in the end, only you can decide to stay in the relationship or not.

[Prof_Don]

Breaks are stupid imo.

Either you're together or you're broken up.

In marriage, there are no "breaks". Stick it through or break up completely. These "gray zones" is where people get hurt and confused.

[Eiffelgirl21]

i agree

[AlexCab]

Well...you certainky do not sound crazy about him, just used to him being around for ypu. I think you need to assess your feelings and figure out if you still love him...else you guys are too young to be stuck in a RL.

[KERMlT]

So go out and start looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side. No reason why you can't do this. Better than getting back with the guy and regretting not looking during your 10 day separation.

[katylaura]

It sounds like you miss having a boyfriend rather than actually missing him. If that's how you feel, you can't get back with him - it isn't fair on either of you.

[Anonymous]

there's no such thing as a "break". it sounds like you already know the answer to your own question. save him the pain and break up. if it's meant to be, then maybe it will work out someday.

[yopyopyop]

Agree. Except for the last sentence ;)

[Anonymous]

Breaks are an excuse to go out and f*** other people. You either want him or you want sex!

[r0ntomyhermi0ne]

i'm sorry but it really does sound like you are going to break up. :( I hope things work out for you though.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

If you don't want to be with him then dont, but I doubt you guys will stay friends.