I lied about being a virgin to my girlfriend. Should I tell her?

[computernoob]

We've been dating for 3 months. But we've been talking to each other and have been friends-with-benefits for about year though so we're not in the "getting to know you" phase... we are in the "I love you.. I want to marry you" phase. We're both 21.

When I first met her, I lied to her and told her I wasn't a virgin and that I've been in a relationship before. The truth is I was a virgin when I met her (lost it to her when we were friends-with-benefits) and she was my first relationship. I lied because I was always embarrassed about being a virgin and never having a girlfriend (high school messed up my self-esteem back then).

I'm wondering if I should tell her the truth. I feel like things will change and she might not trust me. We both love each other but still I'm a little scared. I don't want to lose her. But I also don't want to keep up this huge lie.

My biggest fear is I lost my V-card to her because I just wanted to ... not because I loved her back then, but I do now. I think she will take that the wrong way.

What should I do? If you think I should tell her, how should I approach it?

Updates

+1 y

Update: I told her and she wasn't mad at all. In fact, she was actually very happy about it and she said it made her feel more special. I still feel a little inferior since she's been with a couple guys in the past but that's something I'll get over through time.


Thank you all for your help!

[IdontWantToBeMe]

Wow at glance I thought you were going to say you told her you were a virgin but you weren't, not the other way around.

You should tell her, lieing isn't good for anyone it even affects the person doing it.

I personally don't think it's that big of a deal, you were just embrassed and I don't think the actual lie is the problem, it's just the matter that you kept it from her that will be the issue.

And she will pobably want to know that you're not hiding anything else and won't hide anthing else in the future

"My biggest fear is I lost my V-card to her because I just wanted to ... not because I loved her back then, but I do now. I think she will take that the wrong way."

lol I think you should leave that part out

[childrenofbodom]

I think you should tell her. I'm pretty sure she's not going to be mad that you were a virgin before her. If you were friends with benefits when you lost it obviously you didn't love her then, you're friends with benefits with people for the benifits otherwise you would have been in a relationship then

[smilenbehappy]

tell her , I reckon shed appreciate it. even though she mite be a little angry for the lying part , the truth isn't one that's really bad. she'd understand and probably is better in the long run if you are planning to stay in this relationship and thinking of marriage

[soccerguy90]

You should tell her, just focus on saying you were embarassed and didn't want her to feel pressure since it would have been your first time. But seriously no need to hv been embarressed I'm almost 22 and in the same position you were in. Better to wait for the right one then to rush into things, and it sounds like she is your right one. So to me she is gonna be happy about it that she was your first and maybe your last, girls like that kinda stuff haha. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

[hunterfan]

tell her the truth, tell her you didn't want her to think you were inexperienced so you lied to her, and you actually lost it to her.

[Anonymous]

You better tell her.

1. She'll feel like she can't trust you and may even break up with you if she finds out on her own

2. If she's anything like me, you'll be in big trouble for lying.

[apk89]

tell her the Truth . there nothing to be worry about .

[NerdInDenial]

Don't tell her. If you're so afraid, don't tell her.