Pretty much the same. Though just for the sake of this question, I said it repeatedly in my head with different voices and stuff. lol. I'm starting to hear "so" much as more casual, almost like friends do when one makes the other smile for doing something stupid. While "very" much sounds more appreciative. To be honest, I think the most romantic one is simply saying "I love you" with any modifications.
Very much implies a modestly large amount. So much implies an inexplicably large, relatively infinite amount. Very much implies restraint, while so much implies being overwhelmed. So "I love you so much", in my opinion, is a deeper love.
to me they sound pretty similar. so much sounds a bit more gushy and in the moment.
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No difference.
Very = So
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