a couple of weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend, hastily. I told him it isn't working for me, that I'm taking down the relationship status until we can have time for each other, and since we didn't really talk for 2 weeks, I didn't know if we were dating. he just said 'if that's what makes you happy' and I was like 'you do make me happy, just the situation doesn't'. we'd already been arguing for weeks, I hadn't really been listening to him, and we were both really busy. so I asked if he was okay with breaking up (out of spite), and he said 'if that's what you want' I was like 'wow ok'. we were long distance for a few months, and I did that over the phone a day after I came home, I was upset he didn't see me on our 6 months, the day before. so I took it down, he was angry with me and ended the call by saying 'fine. BYE.' and he removed me from Facebook, our pictures, Skype, etc. I realized what a jackass I was for doing that, and asked if I could talk to him quietly and in person and that I owe him an apology. he didn't respond. I called. didn't respond. I paid $ to figure out where he lived (with his racist grandparents...long story) and sometimes would drive by his house to see if he was there because I haven't seen him in over a month. I asked him about our relationship on his gaming stream and he said that we didn't work out and that we were fine it was just that he got tired of me calling at 2 in the morning saying 'you don't care about me' and that I tried to get back together and he ignored me. he said he didn't like me (or maybe the situation) anymore because it got annoying. he didn't know it was me asking. he went to my job near his house to get food, and once he heard my name on the intercom, he drove off and left the back way. I showed some friends the video and asked a q on yahoo answers about it, and I found out about a week later it was deleted, probably because he might've known I did it... I'm not sure. he went on our planned camping trip alone later that week. beforehand, I tried talking to his friends about how he was, I wanted to apologize to him, and they wouldn't' tell me anything. so for a while, I stopped. I hoped after some space, he would at least answer me, so I tried calling him one last time, and of course he did not pick up.
i realized that the man really loved me, and I feel HORRIBLE for letting him go 1. like that and 2. at all, and thinking it over and at least waiting. what does he think of me now? will he ever come back? I've tried blocking him on Facebook, and removing his number from all logs on my phone (even if I memorized it) and everything... I don't want to keep torturing him or myself, or be crazy anymore. I literally think about him all day every day, just like I did when I was with him, but I was so angry at him all the time, I dream about him, and wake up with anxiety about him. will he ever come back? will this ever get better?
i realized that the man really loved me, and I feel HORRIBLE for letting him go 1. like that and 2. at all, and thinking it over and at least waiting. what does he think of me now? will he ever come back? I've tried blocking him on Facebook, and removing his number from all logs on my phone (even if I memorized it) and everything... I don't want to keep torturing him or myself, or be crazy anymore. I literally think about him all day every day, just like I did when I was with him, but I was so angry at him all the time, I dream about him, and wake up with anxiety about him. will he ever come back? will this ever get better?
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