I'm in love with a girl I can never have.

[Anonymous]

And now I'm more depressed than I ever been in my life.

This girl is amazing. I've known her for a few years and in these few years she has easily been my best friend. But, now she's with another guy and I am just now realizing that I've been in love with her for all these years. It wasn't until the past 2 months or so that I've realized that all of the happiest moments of my life was spent with her or has been because of her.

She's all I ever think about, and the more I think about her the more depressed I get. Friends and co workers have noticed that I don't talk as much as I use to, laugh as much, or even smile. She herself has noticed it too but can't bring myself to tell her why.

What should I do? I've been smoking (Not cigarettes...) a lot more lately just to cope; but it doesn't last because just a couple of hours after the first hits I find myself even more depressed than I was before.

I just want to be happy again. But I can't have her out of my life because I really do believe she is the love of my life.

[killbenlanier]

Every girl I felt that way about was someone I couldn't have. Don't let your sadness and frustrations erase all joy from your life. Remain thankful for your simple pleasures and the people who do care. Being cold and distant hurts them the same way she hurts you. You have to stop viewing her as the love of your life. If you have much difficulty interacting with her as a friend, you need to confess those feelings and tell her it's best to part ways. She'll come to mind, but you simply change your thoughts. Not saying this will happen, but she might become someone you don't even like at all as time goes by. That's what happened with the girls I fell for, and I wasted so much time brooding over nothing. After you keep getting over these girls, you learn to expect disappointment, and the rejection and loneliness won't overpower you.

[Moloch]

Do you have options? I know how you feel, caring about someone that doesn't care for you back and it sucks. You need to have options, chicks in rotation, so you don't put all your eggs in one basket. Once you have options, you'll be the one deciding whether they're good enough or not, and if a particular girl doesn't like you, you can cut your losses easier because you have other girls right around the corner.

Give up on this girl, she doesn't feel the same way about you. There are plenty of fish in the sea out there to just let yourself get strung along by some girl.

If I were you, I'd take a break from her and go meet other girls to get my mind off of her.

[LilKim]

I think you should tell her before completely walking ot of her life. At least she'll know. And if they break up you'll be there.

[Asker]

I'm seriously considering it but I'm going to take why time and ponder it. Thank you :)

[LilKim]

That's good. Even a list of pros and cons may help. I think she would be hurt more if you just walked avay from her with no explaination at all. And if it's easier just write her a letter. I would repect that. And if you get a reponse or none at all it's still better than never saying anything. What if she had those same feelings for you and didn't tell you cause she thought it would ruin your friendship? You never know. Hopefully it all ends the way you want it to. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you.

And I meant my* on my first comment lol

[yopyopyop]

I've been in the same boat, and it just sucks plenty indeed.

How did it end for me ? I'm not talking to her at all anymore.

I would advise you to do the same. You have to move on.

If she had been interested in you, over the years, she would have tried something.

Now you feel she's the love of your life because you are sure of your attraction for her AND because you can't have her. When you understand this, you will start to move on.

[Asker]

But it's not like she did me wrong. She's a great friend who's always been there for me. Don't you think it'll be unfair to her if I ended our friendship over it?

[yopyopyop]

It would be only unfair if it made you hurt too much. As another commenter said, talk to her. I am not sure you should, because as I said, if you've known her for such a long time, something would have happened if she had had a thing for you. And who knows how she'll react if you talk to her, you might be disappointed. Sometimes taking distances speaks louder than words. Good luck, I wish you the best.

[Asker]

Thank you. I appreciate the advice, it was good.

[psm357]

I am sorry, I think you have to stop seeing her as a potential girlfriend and move on. I understand what you are feeling, sometime it is hard to know the person we are attracted to, even when the person is just right in front of us, until the time when we lose the person. Since she already has a boyfriend now, there is nothing much you can do other than to treat her only as a friend, and move on. Sometime what we feels can be misleading.

[Anonymous]

It sucks, doesn't it?