First off, I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 27. I'm kinda at a loss at what I should do. Currently, my boyfriend lives in my home, for a long time already. We seem to be leading completely separate lives, though, and I'm not sure that what I want is what I can ask for. I'm so confused. I want to spend time with him, talk with him, have him involve me in what he does. But I can't seem to get him to do that. I ask him to involve me in his interests, but he usually doesn't make an effort. He also plays games. A lot. And I get insecure about myself, my looks and our relationship because of his lack of interest in me and because of the hot, sexy girls in his games. He dresses up girls that look nothing like me and plays games where he "has" to have sex with the girls in them. You know, maybe this wouldn't bother me so much if I felt more... wanted by him. We don't even have sex! At most, I'd say we 'do it' once or twice a month, only because I keep asking/trying to seduce him. He likes it, though, but he never feels like taking the time to get in the mood for it. Now, I'm not saying sex matters so much, but for me it just feels so great do something together, so close... I wish he wanted it as much as I do.
During the day, he just does his things. We spend probably 4 hours of the day together (mind you, we live in the same house and are both at home the entire day in our current situation!). I do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc because he hates it. Sometimes I cry doing those things because I wish he found ME worth the little effort to spend 15 minutes helping me. And again, this also probably wouldn't bother me as much if he showed more interest in me.
I have talked to him about it so often. I'm usually calm and scared when trying to talk about this and he gets defensive and starts talking crap about himself and asks me "what else I hate about him". I don't understand this attitude. This all confuses me. I want to be in a strong, loving relationship, but I keep feeling turned down. He loves me, I don't doubt this. Not for a second. But his way of showing it... is not enough for me, I guess? I really don't know what to do anymore.
During the day, he just does his things. We spend probably 4 hours of the day together (mind you, we live in the same house and are both at home the entire day in our current situation!). I do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc because he hates it. Sometimes I cry doing those things because I wish he found ME worth the little effort to spend 15 minutes helping me. And again, this also probably wouldn't bother me as much if he showed more interest in me.
I have talked to him about it so often. I'm usually calm and scared when trying to talk about this and he gets defensive and starts talking crap about himself and asks me "what else I hate about him". I don't understand this attitude. This all confuses me. I want to be in a strong, loving relationship, but I keep feeling turned down. He loves me, I don't doubt this. Not for a second. But his way of showing it... is not enough for me, I guess? I really don't know what to do anymore.
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