My boyfriend is secretive about our relationship. Is this something to worry about?
My boyfriend and I started dating 5 weeks ago and he's being to secretive about it. I mean, he doesn't even want me to post anything on his Facebook wall, and even less to add me as his girlfriend there.
I know it may sound childish and silly but, anyway, we know each other for almost a year now and the biggest thing he had done on my Facebook was putting a like in ONE picture wile he he was always saying he liked me over private messages BUT he keeps posting stuff and poems and all that on Facebook of his female friends.
that's making me really insecure and I've told him that and he always say things like 'we were just joking and she even has a boyfriend' or 'don't worry about it, she's a lesbian'
it almost seems like he's just finding excuses/lies to make me forget about it.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
So you just started dating and you're already boyfriend/girlfirend? Are you sure? Has it been clearly stated or are you assuming this to be the case?
All I can tell you is that if I were him I'd want to take things relatively slow as it naturally transitions from a year of being friends to an actual relationship. Not because I doubted that it would go there, I just think that the worst thing you can do is rush it. Being someone's girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't just happen, it's a conversation where both people walk away having no question about the status of things. If you haven't had that, you're not his girlfriend and he's not your boyfriend. And 5 weeks is, to me, not enough time to have that conversation. Give it at least a total of 2 months.
As to the Facebook stuff, some people are less active on there with the people they care about the most. I have a close friend like that. She says that she knows I know we're good so she focuses more on the friends who she knows need more attention in order to feel OK with the friendship.
When in doubt: ask. No ultimatum, especially not after 5 weeks, but it's OK to ask these questions in a clam, rational way. It's a valid question and you should expect a valid response. If you don't get one, however, you're free to react accordingly.