My boyfriend is secretive about our relationship. Is this something to worry about?

My boyfriend and I started dating 5 weeks ago and he's being to secretive about it. I mean, he doesn't even want me to post anything on his Facebook wall, and even less to add me as his girlfriend there.

I know it may sound childish and silly but, anyway, we know each other for almost a year now and the biggest thing he had done on my Facebook was putting a like in ONE picture wile he he was always saying he liked me over private messages BUT he keeps posting stuff and poems and all that on Facebook of his female friends.

that's making me really insecure and I've told him that and he always say things like 'we were just joking and she even has a boyfriend' or 'don't worry about it, she's a lesbian'

it almost seems like he's just finding excuses/lies to make me forget about it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • So you just started dating and you're already boyfriend/girlfirend? Are you sure? Has it been clearly stated or are you assuming this to be the case?

    All I can tell you is that if I were him I'd want to take things relatively slow as it naturally transitions from a year of being friends to an actual relationship. Not because I doubted that it would go there, I just think that the worst thing you can do is rush it. Being someone's girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't just happen, it's a conversation where both people walk away having no question about the status of things. If you haven't had that, you're not his girlfriend and he's not your boyfriend. And 5 weeks is, to me, not enough time to have that conversation. Give it at least a total of 2 months.

    As to the Facebook stuff, some people are less active on there with the people they care about the most. I have a close friend like that. She says that she knows I know we're good so she focuses more on the friends who she knows need more attention in order to feel OK with the friendship.

    When in doubt: ask. No ultimatum, especially not after 5 weeks, but it's OK to ask these questions in a clam, rational way. It's a valid question and you should expect a valid response. If you don't get one, however, you're free to react accordingly.

    • well, if this counts as valid info, he was the one saying I love you first - about 3-5weeks after we get to know each other - and he asked me clearly if I wanted to be his girlfriend 5weeks ago and I accepted, that's why I assume we are. And we have even been sexually intimate a bunch of times.

      that's why it makes me quite concerned, because between us it seems really clear we are in a real relationship but he doesn't want to assume it to other people.

    • Then you should ask him what's up. This is all pretty weird but keep in mind that it is just Facebook. He should know how you feel and that it bothers you. If he continues after that then it's a problem.

What Guys Said 5

  • Any man who is keeping you a secret isn't much of a man at all. Ultimatum! Tyra says it's okay.

  • He is talking to another girl, or is trying to, and doesn't want her to see he is in a relationship. He is a cheating back stabbing player, leave him

  • Kick him to the curb.

  • Hi dear..

    If you truly love him, he ain't fit for ya.

    Find someone like me :P good guys are still alive.


What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah, something seems wrong there hun. =/