My boyfriend doesn't want me on Facebook or any other site!

He doesn't want me to have any male friends

Doesn't want me to go out alone to parties or anything

He hates when other men hit on me, absolutely hates it. I said you can't stop men from hitting on me, so he said I should prevent and do not be polite to guys when they try to hit on me. I should just say F*** off.

We had a huge steamy discussion over Facebook last night, all because I respond to guys who comment on my post, saying that he doesn't like it cause it causes problems it relationship. I went ahead and just deleted the thing and he deleted his. A few weeks ago we were discussing our past and I found out that he has dated some really hot women, I mean really hot women but when I started talking about a guy that I was going out with a month before him, he could not take it, he was like please stop talking, cause it hurts. This is it, he is a really nice guy, he has never done anything to disrespect me and he genuinely cares but I don't know if I can maintain this standard where I can't be on any social networks, have male friends or even hang out with girls at the club

i don't know. I was really shocked cause I heard he said that he hated it but last night was different . So I said look I hope you are willing to make the same sacrifices for me, he was like but you don't ask me to change anything, so I say exactly, I never ask you to change anything or question you about your loyalty or who you are talking to


Most Helpful Guy

  • Clearly, this guy has control issues and a lack of trust. HOWEVER, you may also have some boundary issues too. I'm not saying that his boundaries are reasonable; they seem excessive to me, but at the same time, you need to understand that when you're in a relationship, he comes first (and you should WANT it that way), and you need to create some boundaries with other men in your life as a result. Part of the sacrifice of being in a relationship is not even giving the APPEARANCE or SUGGESTION that you might be cheating, which is far beyond just "not cheating."

    You talk about "hanging out with girls at the club." Clubs are for SINGLE women to meet men for the most part; if you're in a relationship, why are you there without him? For most women in a relationship, it wouldn't even occur to them to go to a club if their man wasn't there, unless it was a rare special occasion for one of your friends or something. To me, that's a reasonable boundary.

    Facebook? You should be allowed to be on social media if you like, BUT you should also put some hard limits on your interactions with other men too, and you should be letting people know that you're in a relationship (FB has tools to "advertise" your relationship; use them).

    Being polite to guys who hit on you? That's appropriate. You are absolutely right in that you can't stop guys from hitting on you, and there's absolutely no cause to be rude to someone who has no idea you're attached. You should be polite (unless THEY are rude), but you should stop them very early and let them know you have a boyfriend and aren't interested.

    What I'm saying is that there's a middle ground, and both of you need to work together to find it, and if you can't or won't, then you should just break up now.

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      Well the club is just an example I am not a club girl, and I guess you do have a point and no I do not have my relationship status on Facebook, so I understand what your saying

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      He wants security, and it feels like you don't inherently understand that and do the things most girls do (instantly change relationship status, for example), so he's totally insecure and going way overboard. Find that middle ground.