For the past year he has been treating me not well but I continue to stay because I do love him and I want to help him also.
He has been for the last year been going at some nights until 8am the next day, not texting or calling at all! He takes various drugs and is a alcoholic, lies about girls a lot!, we have not had a healthy sex life for over one year... list goes on!
But I still love him and I want to help him through this problem but I think last night I blew it.
He came home at 5am drunk and high..expecting me to be friendly, I told him to leave me alone and that I wanted to sleep. He kept saying things in a drunk stupor and pointless things really, he would not shutup so I closed the door. He kept saying things and started to get nasty about me and started swearing things like **** you, and **** off. I was trying to sleep and he has hurt me so I started to get angry. Now I am normally very good at keeping my temper under control but last night I lost it :(
Things got very heated and he was saying so many nasty things such as I'm a whore, and that I'm a bitch. I lost it and slapped him around the face, not so hard but hard enough, He start cursing and would not shut up and let me sleep. Calling me a bitch and a f***ed up person, which is not true at all because all I have done is look out for him and support him in life!
If I'm honest I pushed him away from me pretty hard because he was getting right into my face, calling me a f***ed up bitch and I see that as aggressive behavior. So I pushed him onto the bed and grabbed his d*** and twisted it :( and cos he was wasted all he did was laugh in my face most of the time, and saying how he sees my true colors now, I feel so terrible but so much pain and anger came out last night I lost it. I never wanted to hurt him like that but I think I did because of the hurt he has given me for over a year... so now we are not talking, he is sleeping and I now feel I should just pack my bags and leave... but the problem is I built my life with this man and changed everything for him... Is it best to end this relationship now or is there anyway to save it? I do love him and I feel so guilty about what I did I feel sick to the stomach... any help please?
P.S This morning we had a talk and he said that he pushed my buttons on purpose and he was looking for a reaction from me whether it be violent or not.. He was very drunk also and remembers parts of it, I was completely sober. I told him that from this Monday I will stay with a friend for 5 day in the week and him weekends
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