Taken In Hand Relationships

[Tigerbaby994]

link

Above is a link for the most fascinating website I have ever come across.

I may be only 17, but when I do one day have a husband, this is exactly the relationship I want. Most everything they describe here appeals to me.

The man taking charge, being the man, yet we are both still equals. I respect him, and he respects and takes care of me. Now this won't appeal to everyone, and that is perfectly fine, but keep this in mind.

I understand how much this doesn't appeal to you the same amount that you understand why this relationship appeals to me.

So question all you want, but either you like it or you don't.

I not only feel that I need, but deeply WANT the discipline, the sexual connection, all of it.

So before you fly off the handle, just give it a read. My interpretation of it is probably a little or even a lot different than yours will be. So make your own decision about it, but I want to be a Taken In Hand Woman when I finally do get married.

So my question is this, are there any men who find this sort of relationship appealing?

A woman who demands respect, caring, and to be treated as an equal, yet she let's you be the man, she is somewhat submissive (but not completely, these are still tough women, they just respect and love their husbands) and it's about consent.

She consents for you to discipline her in whatever way the two of you agree on. It could be from having her call you "sir" to a spanking. Whatever suits you as a couple.

It's like you get to create your own recipe for how you are dominant in your relationship.

The best part? These women WANT it.

I am officially one of these women.

I want to be submissive to my husband, but to a point where I still completely hold my own identity, I just have enormous amounts of respect for the man I married.

[MrOracle]

My relationship is similar to this, and my Girlfriend definitely WANTS it to be that way. We have trust and respect with each other, and she's smart and can take care of herself, but she LIKES that I take the leadership position in the relationship. She knows I consider her needs and wants when I make a decision, and she's happy to let me make them. Comforted even.

There's nothing wrong with this at all. The important part is to find a guy who truly understands the whole dynamic at work, and that's where you'll have some trouble. You're young, and most younger guys simply don't get this at all. They either don't know how to be a dominant leader, or the only way they know now to be that is to be a jerk to abuses the girl and takes advantage of her. Neither one will work; there MUST be respect and trust, both ways, in this type of relationship, even more than in a normal one. Most guys need some experience to figure that out. Myself, I didn't "get it" until I was in my late 20s.

As you can no doubt see from that website, there are plenty of people who prefer to structure their lives like this, and again, as long as there is trust and respect, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. There are also households where the woman "wears the pants" and is in charge, and if that's what makes them happy, there's nothing wrong with that either.

The important thing is to know what you really want, and once you know, then you can actually get it. It's hard to get what you want when you don't even know what that is.

[Tigerbaby994]

Yes I understand. Boys my age are not very, intuitive to this kind of relationship. I think it's okay that they like sex, hey I like sex too, but that's all their minds rotate around for the most part and how to get it. Sex is a big part of this relationship type, but there is a lot of respect to it and it takes a man, not a boy, to achieve it. And when I say man I do not imply an age but an attitude. I do hope to find a man who will one day want a relationship such as this.

[kheserthorpe]

I agree with this. Most young guys are jerks, or are still finding their own way. To be benevolently in charge takes a good heart combined with maturity, confidence and developed authority. I couldn't have done it when I was young.

[MrOracle]

"I couldn't have done it when I was young."

Me neither, and in most ways, I was mature for my age. You *still* need experience and wisdom and confidence, and you just don't have that in sufficient quantity at 22 (or whatever). Maybe a tiny handful do, but it certainly won't be very many.

[antonlikesmlb]

This sounds great to me.

[Tigerbaby994]

What about it sounds appealing? All of it? Some of it? Just curious. :)

[antonlikesmlb]

Pretty much all of it. I get to lead the way, she likes it and offers her input. I feel good, she feels good, everything feels good.

[Tigerbaby994]

Well it's also a lot of work on the man's part. Like, I think it takes a certain kind of man because you have to earn this right to head of the relationship. The reason this is a contradiction for myself is because I'm very independent, very mouthy and for me, it would take a lot for a guy to earn my trust and respect to get to the point where I would let him take the lead and make the decisions. He'd definitely have to earn it and I'd be lying if I said it would be easy.

[antonlikesmlb]

That's the fun part, getting a woman to trust you. Obviously the men will strike out most of the time but eventually you find someone. It's not easy but all of the work pays off in the end though because you have a life long partner and everything else that comes with a healthy relationship.

[Tigerbaby994]

Exactly. Finally, a guy who gets that. :)

[Tigerbaby994]

Most guys our age expect something like that to be handed to them, and it doesn't show a good character to me.

[MissConfused93]

Not appealing. I don't want either person to be in control. It should be equal through and through. If I had to choose a "leader" or "authority" in the relationship I'd prefer it to be me. Not the man. I'm not submissive nor do I wish to be.

[Tigerbaby994]

And that sounds great to me! That really works for some couples and it's great that you know what you want! Find a man who agrees with you on this (there are many) and I believe you can have a fantastic marriage! :) I just like to see people happy, to whatever way suits them. Everyone has a different like and expectation of a relationship. It's great that you know what you desire in one.

[MissConfused93]

Except I don't want marriage either!

[Tigerbaby994]

Ah, well, relationship then. Whatever you want, it is just nice to know that you know what you want! :)

[MissConfused93]

Mhmm.

[leximarie]

this is just another form of lifestyle BDSM, also try looking into 1950's household style BDSM that might interest you as well. This is normal, and being 17 doesn't mean you don't know what you want.

[Tigerbaby994]

Perhaps. But being any age doesn't mean you know what you want. Sometimes wisdom comes with age and sometimes it fades with age. You have complete rights to your opinion and if you do not like this that is but fine with me. I don't want you to like something that has no appeal to you. It is a different lifestyle, and some choose it and some do not. Isn't great to live in a country where we have the choice to do that though? :)

[leximarie]

wait, I think you misunderstood me, when did I say I didn't like it? and I know that age doesn't necessarily dictate wisdom hahahaha, I'm completely supportive of it and I think it's completely normal. I was just saying for you to check those things out because they are the same was what you said up there hahaha

[Tigerbaby994]

oh, haha, sorry, I misread your response. My apologies. Actually I was looking into BDSM and that was how I stumbled across this site, even though I personally don't see it as the same. I like reading about BDSM but I don't have much desire to participate because there is no permanent relationship, and that is what I look for. Also, I wouldn't feel like the man respects the submissive enough. I don't want to be that submissive either and give someone I don't really know all that trust.

[leximarie]

BDSM can be permanent, like I said just look into lifestyle BDSM, and 1950's household, gorean lifestyle or some others. And maybe some Doms don't respect their subs, but for most that is a key component to D/s relationships.

[Tigerbaby994]

I still just can't see it for myself. I think there are similarities, yet a fine line between Taken In Hand and BDSM. I don't know, it's sort of difficult for me to explain.

[leximarie]

hahahaha no no, you're fine, you don't need to explain yourself, clearly you are in tune with your wants and interests, I was just suggesting it. It's important you know, not what I think or anyone else, that doesn't matter, obviously you know your wants more than I (some random internet chick) do.

[iNeedYourAdvice]

Well, to be honest I've never liked the thought of being "in control". I don't think anyone has the right to be solely "in control". I'd much prefer a relationship where I viewed my wife as some who is by my side and an equal rather than under me. I just don't think it's right. Other than that I really like the idea of this kind of relationship. It's very idealistic though.

[Tigerbaby994]

I think that is perfectly fine and a great way to have a marriage! I am glad that you know what you want and that it suits you and I fully hope you find a woman who will want the same.

[iNeedYourAdvice]

Thanks :)

[kheserthorpe]

Read it before. Find it appealing. Never considered it a possibility before I got married. Do not have that type of relationship.

[Tigerbaby994]

Perhaps you could introduce it to your wife? There are articles on here of how to do so I believe. :) Maybe she'd like the idea of it. But it's worth a try than always wondering isn't it? Up to you, of course.

[kheserthorpe]

ROFL. No. She's not interested at all.

[Tigerbaby994]

Oh, well. If you're okay with that then that's cool. :) lol, whatever works for you two.