How do I get over the feeling of being used? :((

Hi everyone! For starters, I can't help but feel a bit used and a bit easy after what took place Tues. My ex boyfriend called me like 2wks ago and said he wanted to work things out and get back together, heck he even promised to get me a ring. I was totally elated about the entire thing. Then he told me that he would be coming over Tues. to spend the night.

So I was ok with that. He came over ordered some food and we ended up fooling around. I pulled away initially because I was not sure but he began touching me, so I allowed it because I was thinking of his needs and not mine. There was no actual sex, but I did give him a hand job which made him ejaculate. Well then after he tried to sleep and was like I can't sleep here. He said it was because the bed was a twin size.

He grabbed his toothbrush, and his sleeping clothes hugged and kissed me and then left. Before he exited I asked mentioned the ring to him. He replied by saying "i'll think about and then he said said he's not in all that lovey stuff."

Now, I am still a virgin and I am 21 but I feel very guilty and used. How is it possible that he wanted to work things out if that took place. Then on top of that He called me that Wed. and was brief with me and I have not heard from him since.

So my ? is do you think I am easy because of this? I honestly in my heart thought we were getting back together and it's not like I imagined this, he verbally said that he loved me and that he wanted to work things out again. I am not used to a guy telling me one thing and then doing the opposite. I figured if he didn't want me he would not have said that he loved me and wanted to get back together.

Also this was not just a random guy, this was my ex of a yr. so I thought he was serious when he said that he wanted to get back together and start our relationship.

I honestly feel like trash right now. please help me and give me advice.

I know that I didn't actually have sex, but I can't help but feel really trashy right now because I typically have good morals.

Please give me some advice and tell me what's going on here.

Ok someone told me that the guy ran away because he was scared to commit. Maybe I am old fashioned but I thought that anytime you are in a relationship, you are committed to that person. I know a guy @ work who has a girlfriend & he dates her and only her
2 infogirl: I know that if I don't call him and end it.. he will call me 2 weeks later acting like things are great. So I made an attempt to finish everything and tell him 2 move on, but I didn't get 2 accomplish that because he was so short.


Most Helpful Girl

  • oh gosh! plz plz plz don't feel used over a hand job! I know it may seem like a lot to you because you are still a virgin, but in reality its not a big deal...blow job okay I can see where you would feel used..i don't think he went into it thinking "oh let me get a hand job out of her and leave" guys can give themselves a hand job, you didn't do anything that he can't do, therefore I can't see that you were used. he is being a typical guy whos not thinking, and you are thinking way to much into the fact that he was using you. just because you gave him a hand job does not mean you are a bad person who doesn't follow morals..if you were going down the street picking out some random guy and giving HIM a handjob, then I would say you should feel like trash...if ANYTHING he thought he prob was going to get more out of you, and he didn't..hooking up after a break up usually leaves one or another person confused, and that is what is going on were def NOT used, he could do this to himself...and I'm pretty sure he didn't say he wanted to get back together and start a relatioship JUST to get a hand job out of you..he might have actaully felt that when you guys spoke about it..but like I said guys are weird sometimes, they don't think, and you just have to give him some time to himself..he will be back ..and once he does just tell him you don't think its a good idea to hook up if your not in a commited relationship..and that's that...YOU WERE NOT pleaaaase don't worry anymore =)

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      See the weirdest thing is that he told on the phone he was going to get me a ring. Something to show that he was apologetic. Well once he got off, I mentioned this and he replies and says that he will think about it. I feel like sh*t. I just want to lose my virginity to someone in a committed relationship. Not marriage, but a committed relationship. I just don't understand why he'd call me the day after and then not call again. Ugh.. this is such a bad feeling for me.