Will I be OK with girls?

I have never had a relationship before and want one really bad. I've honestly never even been associated with girls before. My mom died when I was 13 and I've lived in a house of men my entire life. I get really nervous around girls but they all seem to find me attractive. I'm so unexperienced it scares me. I want so badly to be the best guy for a girl but I can hardly talk to them about a relationship. I've been asked by many girls to date but some I just didn't really like but others I just didn't feel ready. I'm already in college and I've never even kissed a girl, I am so unexperienced for my age, and a big part of it is just my own personal issues growing up. I'm just wondering if I'm gonna be OK. Will I be able to have a relationship? I over analyze things way too much and am scared to death of rejection and girls just not liking me for who I am. I'm wondering if it will come naturally or will I be an unexperienced uninteresting guy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the fact that you don't have much experience with girls is going to be a very attractive quality in and of itself for a certain girl. It's not so weird to be so inexperienced at your age. I'm a year older than you, and I've never been kissed either. I've devoted my time to improving myself, and watching the relationships around me. I've picked things up that most people don't notice, because I've been able to stay objective about it. My friends know to trust me when I get a "bad feeling" and tell them to stay away from someone. Usually the guy ends up in Jail...

    Anyway, back to your dilemma!

    Save that first kiss for someone really special! You don't want your first kiss story to be about some mistake you made in college... you want it to be a special experience! I'm not saying to go this drastic of course, but I'm saving my first kiss for my wedding day because I know that I will never have kissed anybody else. You don't need to ask a girl out because you want a relationship. If there is a girl you really like, you can ask her out if it feels right, but if you push it, it won't be genuine or mean anything. If you want to be the best guy for a girl someday, imagine walking down the aisle with your best friend, knowing you have no regrets.

    One last word of advice... The fact that you have this little experience and that you seem to get so many girls to like you means that you are shark bait. The girls who push themselves at you are not the ones you should be going for. They are trying to "corrupt" you or something... look for the ones who need protecting.

    I'm always down for talking if you need advice about any girls in particular... I can tell you if I get any weird vibes... (no it's not voodoo or something... just experienced observation. lol)

    • I have no idea why you haven't been kissed yet because if you 'are' the way you write, you have very attractive qualities. Your answer was OK except one thing. I got my first kiss when I was 20. I thought I should do like you said and save it for someone special but you want to know something? I regret it. The first girl I kissed was SUPER hot no doubt, but I waited too long. If I had to do it again, I would have kissed earlier, to preserve my mental health and stay sane.

    • Thanks :) And I understand where you're coming from, and I appreciate your advice, but my decision is also sort of religiously based. Sort of a save myself for marriage kind of thing...

What Girls Said 7

  • I think its such a bad stereo type to make guys seem unexperienced at your age. Just let it happen naturally. When you meet a girl that you connect with, become friends with her. Show her attention by listening. Give her complements when you think she looks nice, and buy her little small things that matter to her like her fav candy bar, or coffee.

  • you'll be fine! Just smile and talk to girls, tings'll pick up from there :)

  • You'll be okay. You're just thinking too much because you've never dated, it's normal to feel that way. And if it happens that a few girls reject you at the beginning don't let that stop you, or make you feel as if you're less, or not datable. Good luck:]! and sorry about your mom. </3

  • You'll be fine, it's probably a lot more natural than you think. Just be yourself and friends with a girl and you never know. And in your time, don't rush into a relationship if you don't feel ready.

  • you will be totally fine. many girls will find the fact that you're unexperienced attractive. if you love the girl and the girl loves you, everything will come naturally.

  • Have you come across any particular girl that you just want to see her smile and see her happy? If you have, I would say THAT'S HER. that you will be fine with :) because from then, your focus is no longer whether you yourself are good enough, it will just become you wanting to give her the best of everything you have. and that's more than enough (:

    • Ya I've been pretty close. She used to flirt with me and I pretended to ignore her because I knew I would never be with her and I used to stare at her and think about her all the time and she got a boyfriend and it was hard to move on but I did. The feelings are almost gone finally. But ya I hope I come across a girl like that. Thanks for the advice

What Guys Said 6

  • Bro I am in almost same situation right now. I'm telling you,i felt like I was reading my own story while reading yours,at least in most parts... I really think we will be just fine. We just need to work on our irrational fears,deal with them and work on improving ourselves in every other aspect of life. I am sorry for I couldn't quite give you the answer you are looking for,but that is because I am looking for one myself,but it is important to know you are not alone,and again I think you will be just fine. Good luck

  • Bro, first thing is to become sure of yourself and fear nothing, that fear is what is screwing you up. Just get confidence and talk to strangers, even dudes and get to be more social and then just talk to girls.

  • You'll do just fine...

    JK, you'll probably have some terrible experiences and a learning curve to deal with. We all do.

  • Same here, I really hope to make a change to my life next year . I got last semester exams so no time for that , And I've got one last day party organized by me and a couple guys from our class.

    SO that's gonna be the only chance I'll get a girl this year


    Like I said I'm gonna start fresh with new class mates and meet new women who have never heard about me , and give up my 'courage the cowardly dog " side and show them a different me.

    I don't think anyone has it in there genes to pick up women or anything (except if they look really good) And you seem to got there attention easily , Like me ( well I wouldn't say I'm hot but I mean Women talk with me ). Its just the matter or going further. The problem I mostly encounter while having to talk with women is that I either make the subject boring or I just can't think of anything interesting to say. Two , three sentences and that's all. I have been improving though. So I usually do somewhat a background check on women I will always meet and try to go from there. That is the plan for next year . This year all I did was do research on my problem.

    College is the best chance to score women! Good luck !

    • UPDATE- I just wanna Say how well things went during and after the party . I met a lot of women and finally got rid of my fear of talking to women. It just happened I don't know why, And Got a bunch of girls who like me and who are just normal human beings who didn't turn out to be the alienous creatures I thought they were.

      Things went pretty well and I hope to find my self a girlfriend next year , After my exams. Fingers crossed! And I hope things go as well for you !

  • You don't have to be experienced to make a girl happy. At least the right type of girl. Your enthusiasm and willingness to learn what makes her go will make up for it.

    Don't be afraid of rejection. I was for the longest time, and to an extent, I still am. However, once you experience it, you realize it's not as bad as you were making it out to be. It still hurts, but the more it happens, the less it affects you and the faster you move on to try again with someone else. As long as you don't take it personally or let it be a blow to your confidence, you'll be fine. If you let rejection beat you, you'll not keep trying, and without trying you can't succeed.

  • Nothing is wrong with what you said. If your journey is different to anybody elses, that's okay. Do things at your own pace and try not to concern yourself with what other people have or haven't done at your age.