I had a one-year relationship. We broke up because he was not ready for commitment. It was my choice to end the relationship. I suffered when we were together, because I wanted more and he did not. At the same time he was my best friend and a great lover. We spent almost all our free time together and never got bored. Even when we were at work we used to email each other. There was a very strong connection.
But I was loosing a respect for myself, since, despite all this he did not want to have an “official relationship”.
For 2 months after the break up he was running after me, asking to come back (still not offering anything new, except of “I know that I have commitment issues, but I will start addressing them”). I didn’t believe him, as I’d heard something similar before. Then he decided not to talk to me ever again and “disappeared”. After some time he started to send me mixed signals (nothing direct. There are a couple of places in the internet where we “intersect”. But from what he posted I could see that he still suffers because of the break up)
I don’t regret my decision. And I don’t regret about not contacting him now.
My main problem is that I can not forget him and I really suffer. After almost 4 months. Sometimes I feel better, but then it comes again and seems never to end. I tried all the techniques, but I always end up thinking of him and missing him despite all what happened. I don’t know what to do, because it seems too much.
I am also wandering why the man, who obviously suffers for a long time because we are not together prefers to suffer rather than to come to me and have a normal relationship. It seems completely illogical. Well, maybe he is “not that into me”, but in this case, I think he would move on, which he didn’t.
I can not come into peace with myself.
Most Helpful Girl
It takes time to get over someone especially if they were your best friend at the time. Congratulations on standing up for yourself and looking out for your heart (it took me 6 years to get away). You just have to keep yourself busy and go into you mode. What worked like a gem for me was to not date anyone, get myself into shape (eating healthy and working out), pampering myself and learning to be ok on my own. I even picked up cooking as a hobby. Anyhow, my point is if you work on healing and work on improving yourself you will see how it's too bad that it didn't work out but how important you are to you. In this world you only have yourself ultimately. As sad as it is there will be a day where you can look back and think, "We had some amazing times but he just wasn't the one for me." Don't worry about him, he will have to learn to get over his fears or lose more people that he loves. He doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't trust himself (which in turn makes it impossible to trust other people). He has been hurt in his past (who hasn't) and never dealt with it. So now he wants to have the perks without the commitment. Reason being? He has an excuse to say, "Oh well. We weren't dating." whether or not it's because of something a woman did or he did.