How do I balance friends and a long distance boyfriend?

I currently live in a city with my two roommates who I'm very close with. Both of them are single, and I have a boyfriend of 3 months who lives about an hour and a half away. So it's not too long distance since it's an easy drive.

One of my roommates works for a company that sends her traveling a lot, and she just got stationed across the country so she won't be home during the week and only on some weekends for 6 months.

This leaves an issue for me, because I feel bad leaving my other roommate alone to go visit my boyfriend, but if I visit him when the other roommate comes back home from across the country then I also feel bad because I don't get to see her much anymore.

So my question is, how do I balance my relationship with my roommates and my relationship with my boyfriend? What is a fair balance?

  • You should be able to see your boyfriend whenever you can
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  • Don't leave your roommate alone, and visit when the other one is home
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  • Only visit him when both are busy
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Visit your boyfriend sometimes when only friend one is home, but stay home enough that friend one isn't lonely or feels abandoned. Sometime visit your boyfriend when your other friend comes home. You won't see friend 2 very often, but it's only 6 months. Your boyfriend can visit you sometimes and that can take the pressure off. You jus have to create a schedule, keep in mind that friend 2 won't see you as much and friend one may be slightly lonelier than she was before. If you have to or can cut down on how often you go to visit your boyfriend. You can't make everyone happy.

    or just choose what's more important to you and focus on that relationship.


What Guys Said 7

  • Hey yur boyfriend cmes first. Your roommates will both understand. You can't very well ask them to come with you to visit your bf!

  • This is a balance yo uneed to find, which something will need to give, but ask yourself this, would your friends think the same way if they had a boyfriend, decide what's important to you the most, then balance as much as you can, you can't keep everyone happy so there's no point trying,x

  • I agree with stubbsy that this is something you figure out.

    If it were me, I'm sure your roommate is fine being alone, but I don't mean you spend all your time with your boyfriend. I would visit the boyfriend often, be home when your second roommate comes back, because you won't get to see her much, and the rest of the time is just casual at home with your at home roommate. It's not like it has to be an extreme of always your boyfriend or always your roommate. You don't have to always be home when your second roommate comes back either. In the end, I'm sure you'll find a good balance.

  • Do you see your room mate every day? I expect you do. Isn't that enough for her?

  • Your roommate is more important then your boyfriend?


    Be grateful your boyfriend is only a short drive.

  • Your other roommate will be fine. She (or he?) is a grown adult right? I doubt they need you to babysit or stay with them all the time. Go see your boyfriend :| you can always spend time with them when you're back.


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