She's not ready for a relationship??

Well there's this girl I've really liked for a long time and today I finally told her how I felt...and she tells me...

"I like talking to you too... thing is I'm not ready to go out with anyone yet but I want us to be friends a little longer"

I then I asked her "is it because your not ready or because your talking to other guys?"

She said "kinda both even though I haven't really been talking to a lot of guys its mainly because I'm not ready for a relationship yet"

Those were the main parts of our convo but what does it mean?

What I also like to add is this girl lives in rochester and I live in the bronx. I know for a fact she liked me back in janurary that I know. And her cousin said she wants to see me when she comes this month because I missed her last couple visits.


Most Helpful Girl

  • shes not ready for a relatinoship with YOU!, she may like you, but not enough to make a full blown relationship out of it..this is what I say to guys all the time even though its not true, its just the easy way out..i mean she could be telling you the truth about wanting to be friends longer, that is always a possibility, but from my experience and other girls experience that I know, this is what we would say when were not sure/ or don't want a relationship with you..i would move on...ive waited around for guys that give me those b*llshit lines, and nothing has EVER came out of it, except me waiting around like a fool while the guy talks to other girls and never has any intention of settling down with me

    • In regards to your past experience, how did you ever get over the guys and how long did it take you? I'm in the same situation, where I wanted a relationship and the guy "wasn't ready"(so he claims). I had to cut off all ties and its been 2 months. I really miss him, so how and how long do you think it will be for me to move on? I have to admit...I am wishing that he comes back and realizes that he wants to be with me

    • Show All
    • Omg, you are really helping me. Its crazy how our situations are like identical!! I guess its time for me to stop turning guys down and start working on moving forward. so the because the other girl pressured him is why he got in a relationship? very I guess you weren't needy enough? so how long did his relationship wih her last? we are like so much alike and you're right about me wanting him to come back while he's still in my system. lol. I wish someone would come along now

    • To fill his place. but I also question if I'll ever feel really comfortable with someone again like I did him. what is wrong with these guys? my guy was 21 and I'm 23 and I'm just wondering am I ever going to find someone in which I'll be able to settle down with. I have to be honest I'm tired of giving myself to guys and coming up empty handed in the end.

What Girls Said 13

  • Exactly what she said. She isn't ready to date anyone and is enjoying being single. She is mingling. She's feeling the guys out before she wants to commit. I like her honesty.

  • she probably just wants to get to know you better. Sounds like she enjoys your friendship, and may just not want to take the risk of losing you as a friend. Either way, it means what she said: she's not ready for a relationship yet.

  • Maybe you should listen to her.

    If she's not ready for a relationship comitment than DONT PUSH HER!

    She she want to be with you, and you her of course, than everything will work tou.

    Keep your arms wide open and be a good friend to her still. Even if she sees other guys, after a while she may realise that you are always there for her and its yu she actually needs.

    Patience is a good thing.

  • It probably just means that she isn't sure whether or not you are the one she wants to settle down and be in a relationship with. I am currently talking to a couple guys, but if any of them asked me out I would probably respond the same way she did. I mean, actually being in a relationship with one person is a pretty big step and she wants to make certain that you're who she wants it to be with. I believe it would have been worse if she decided to date you but always had these "what if's" in her mind about the other guys.

    She also probably enjoys being single and isn't ready to give that up just yet.

  • From the first thing you posted I'm gonna have to say she doesn't like you. Sorry dude. Good luck next time, except if she used to like you, try to figure out why and bring those qualities back. Also, sometimes a girl likes you at first and then she notices afterwards that she simply doesn't like you. No reason, she just doesnt. But I know one thing for sure, she enjoys your company and would at the very least want to be your friend:)

  • It means she is a smart girl who does not rush into relationships just for the sake of having one. At her age she should be talking to a lot of guys and discerning who would be best for her, which takes time. The fact you guys have been friends for a long time, and she talks to you, is always a good thing. Don't ruin it by grilling her about other guys, that's a huge turn off and (don't mean to sound rude) none of your business. She is probably telling the truth in that she is not ready yet. Best advice would be back off a little, continue to be her friend, show self confidence by not asking those kind of questions and you stand a better chance. You already have the upper hand as I said because she does still talk to you. In the meantime, talk to other girls and be just as discerning.

    • This is a great answer. please take note and start investing into yourself more - by asking yourself what you really want; what if she says yes - then what are you going to do? you live miles apart and long distance R's don't work.

  • It probably either means that she really just isn't ready for a relationship or she just isn't into you like that and she didn't want to be mean and ruin your friendship by being honest.

  • just based on that, sorry to say, but I don't think she likes you in a romanic sense. But don't let that get you down. Everyone has their own type. You may not be her type but you could be 100% of another great girl's type.

  • she really means that she wants time. some times there is just a point at wich you don't want to be with ne one even if you have feelings

  • she probably does like you but she might have just got over a bad break-up and needs time. your best bet is to wait for her to be ready don't push her. all that will do is make her mad and if she is getting over a bad breakup then you definitely don't wana do that.

  • It could mean many things, that she just ain't ready for A relationship, that she really don't like you but didn't want to say iit, that she already has somebody, of that she just isn't sure if your her man. Just hang in there. What happens, happens

    a l a and a ?

  • It sounds like a mixture of both. It sounds like she is not ready for a relationship with you and she is looking at other options. It could also be her polite way of telling you that she is not interested.

    The best thing you can do is carry on spending time with her as a friend and don't push for anything to happen. Show her a good time, have fun together and let her know how much you care but don't make any moves and don't ask her out again. I think that she is interested but she wants to spend time with you as a friend and see what happens. She wants to see if her feelings can grow and find out more about you. The best thing to do in this situation is let nature take its course. If you are not happy to wait around and take it slow then you need to move on.


What Guys Said 9

  • Means she doesn't wnt to date you... unfortunately... people often say I'm not ready for a relationship when they don't wana datethe person in question or when they don't wana date ...maybe she's not over her ex or maybe she just flirting who knows...all we know is she doesn't ana date you right now...and this may not change

    sorry dude

    • Pretty much. If I'm talking to a guy that I really like, no matter if I'm talking to other guys or not, if he is the one I want, I'm not going to tell him that I'm not ready for a relationship... If I like him enough ill take the chance and give it a shot. she's just not that into you.

  • She doesn't like you as boyfriend; that's why she wants only be friends. But she wants to put you on the wings because (maybe) one day things change and that day you can be a choice as a back up plan. It's hard, I know but I've been there.

    And it does never work if you try to wait for her. So, move on!

  • Lol...I'm gonna blame this on rochester itself because I know a girl in rochester as well who said the same thing.

    Depending on her level of intelligence, you may be able to say that she is really not ready for a relationship. Some people just don't think about it at all and really just wanna enjoy sorta floating through life.

    As a previous poster stated, do not push her. That's the worst thing you could do. Just be patient and try to control yourself. Keep control or you will screw it all up. I'm still being patient kinda, but talking to another girl at the moment because I know that rochester girl isn't ready and may never be. It may never be with me even.

    Float on.

  • i like a proper question like this.

    from experience, although ur older than me, I kno girls like to use excuses(dont deny it girls),

    maybe its just an excuse not to get with you, but a gentle one because she sees you as a friend and doesn't want to hurt you,

    or maybe she is telling the truth, ul never know, because a female mind is the most complicated thing known to man,

    in a situation likes urs, I tend to dis-involve my self and move on, because I'm not the type of person who likes the hastle of it all,

    but you have to go with how you feel, if you like her that much, do everything you can, nothings impossible, and ul always get what you want in the end, if you can't get her, then that's because she's not worth it.

  • Ive been in this situation before, girl I was seeing a few summers ago was home for the summer (goes to college a few hours away) we hung out, talked, attraction was there we fooled around a bit. but about a week before she was leaving for the fall semester she seemed uninterested where I was thinking about asking her to be my girlfriend. it was confusing but a friend of hers told me that she really liked me and thought I was boyfriend material but she didn't want to start anything because of the stress/life style of college and the fact we had only been hanging out for a couple weeks. I felt bad because I liked the girl allott!

    about a year later she was back home from school for good and we somehow saw each other out one night and we started talking again. We spent time together for a few weeks (dinners, dates etc) and it was obvious we were both in a different place mentally and the chemistry was unbearable. we have been together exclusivly for a few months now and its just great!

    when a girl says she isn't ready for a relationship, don't automatically shut her off, give her space and see what happens. I didn't expect ANYTHING to happen after that one summer but now we are together!

  • She's shooting you down with out even giving you a chance to go with the flow and see what happens. She either doesn't like you, is interested in another guy, or just flat out doesn't know what she wants.

  • If you like her hang out with her, go out with her. Things will progress naturally. Don't look too much into it. Don't rush her either or you'll just drive her away. Would you be comfortable with just being friends?

  • Dude, it means what she says. Its self-explanatory. She just wants to take things easy. She just doesn't want to do something rash and therefore injure her dating experience, she probably just wants to keep her options open and her life out of the slum of bad dating. She also probably wants to learn more about you before she makes the decision.

  • she's playing with you.

    Im not ready for a relationship excuse bullsh*t

    dont talk to her for weeks.

    make her suffer by telling her non directly that you don't take this sh*t.

    or A: your f***ed, she's just using an excuse like I just wanne be friends with you not having sex with you or anything like that.

    or B: she really needs some time up

    2 ways to handle it! the good way... probably won't end good or the bad boy way.. wich is more productive and works better

    Or A: you can be all emotional be her puppet and listen that she's not ready for a relationship while you keep on pushing her. while that pushing pushes her further away of having a relationship with her

    Or B:

    Show her who's the one leading the relationship, if she doesn't wants you then FINE! I won't talk to you for weeks, of course she will be worried more and more why you suddenly don't talk to her again, of course she knows why ...

    and she will understand how sincere you are to have a relationship with her, and how much she hurt you. (in a woman perspective)

    she will feel bad about it and everything

    the bad guy would just say something like: f*** it, I don't want this b**** anymore, if I'm not good enough for her I'll ignore her, I'll just answer her messages, but not get mad or cry about it.

    Be hard to get, not some second choiche or some puppet of a girl

    Be independant.

    You think it doesn't work? it works very well, do not get toyed by the girls.

    She's testing how high on the hot scale bord of boys she can get, your just a toy...

    What I'm saying is, she will flirt with a lot of boys, starting low, with ugly boys, if she succeeds she will get hotter boys and so on. just keep on toying, she had her ex, now she expects someone as hot as her ex or someone hotter...

    Girls say that the inside is more important than the outside? ... psh my ass!

    3x major stuff for girls! if you want a girl you need.. Nr1 looks, Nr2 humor and Nr3 social

    social in other words, there must be a connection