Is space good or bad for a long term relationship?

If your partner in a long term relationship asked for space, did it end up being good or bad?


Most Helpful Guy

  • (Read your responses to some of the other answers here so somewhat responding off of that)

    Time is good to get some of the emotional stress that needed releasing out, that way when you come "back to the table" you can talk things out without feeling that pressure like you need to do SOMETHING because you're going nuts. He's probably feeling a little lost and he may have jumped the gun a bit. This is where you have to be understanding and do a little bit of showing you care. You let him know that you're here when he wants to talk. You're not angry or upset, even if you are. If you want things to work out, this is where you have to rise to the occasion emotionally speaking and not lose it.

    If you're going to contact him, phone calls, not a text. You're going to be dropping an "I miss you" somewhere in there and he's going to need to hear it in your voice that it's sincere and heartfelt. If you do it via text he might brush it off or say something like "I wish you wouldn't say that, it's just putting more pressure on me" or some similar defensive tactic to create more space. At this point, this is where being on the phone instead of texting will be important. When you say something like "I know, but this is really hard on me and I just want you to know I really do miss you" he might be inclined to interpret it as you're blaming him for how hard this is on you. If you're on the phone however, the sincerity and tone with which you say it will leave open no room for interpretation. That you genuinely care and this really is tearing you up. It's important to not get upset or frustrated at him, because it will backfire and he will pull away more.

    At some point, you two are going to have to talk. You don't just get to wake up and go "hey, things are alright now, my mistakes" and go back to how things were. Something was wrong. Something made him feel this way. If he can get away with not talking about it and not trusting you enough to talk about it, then it will become a reoccurring theme which is bad news for everybody. If he can't open up and talk to you about what's really bothering him, there's no relationship left to save. At that point, you'll have to move on. So before you get back together you have to talk about things and see if there's something to get back together with. If there's a relationship there left to save.

    Space is a good thing, but only because it means you've reached a make it or break it point. I think that's a good thing. The outcome might not always be what you want, but that make it or break it point is a good thing. You either find out the relationship didn't have what it takes to survive the bumps, in which you saved yourself time by not wasting any more of it in a doomed relationship, or you survive the bumps and the trust and communication will be as strong as it has ever been, if not stronger. So it's definitely a good thing. Hopefully you get the outcome you want.

    • Hey thanks for the BA!

What Guys Said 6

  • It's always been bad for me. Once it was a sign they wanted out and once they got that added freedom they liked it so much they didn't come back. The other situation she again wanted the space only once I also got some I didn't want to go back, while she did.

    Only other outcome I can see, but have not experienced, is that both people want back into the relationship after seeing what they have for them on the outside. I'm guessing this would be more common for married couples or people who have been together 5+ years but again, just speculation at that point.

  • Space...haha yeah now next day she will ask me that she would need to be apart from me. If you are in a relationship there should not be any space in between both of you. Space means the feeling of like is getting ended and separation will increase. Love has no space It fills the space.

    • Well we split, and he said that his mind was all over the place and he was confused about his feelings and that he needs space to hopefully figure out where his feelings ly. So this is space out of a serious relationship. How long should I give him space for? I really don't want to lose him.

    • Show All
    • He cried when he said he was confused about his feelings and that he needed time. and his mom even told me he cried after I left. I am giving him his space, so far 5 days of space with no contact. All I want is him back.

    • In a long term relationship you have to feel fresh from time to time. So give him sometimes till then come up with some new fresh look and try to talk to him as if you are very confident. Try to start from the begining recall the stuffs which both of you did when you had met initially. Start both of your relationship from nurturing point again and feel fresh.

  • Space is always a good thing. Time apart can make you both want each other more, so always being together can drive you apart.

  • It's like salt for your food.

  • it worked great for me but only because that love was strong enough to pull me back and continue to want her. you could take a break and find out you don't want someone or do


What Girls Said 3

  • Breaks are a bad sign that trouble has happened or the other person is having a complex. I'm in a long long relationship. Our breaks were because of fighting which doesn't help the fight resolve. What's the reaso bheind the space/break? that could be a good starting point to figuring out if it's good. but generally not good...ask about it in great detail.

  • Good for the relationship

  • It is great, shows you two have a strong bond!