Can a guy who likes having rough sex with you also love you?

I clearly get turned on by rough sex/ the guy being very dominant. I like gentle choking, hair pulling, face/ass slapping, pinning, anal, rough bjs, being instructed/ordered. I realize this is weird and extreme but I can't help it and I am otherwise a nice, privileged young woman; a university student, in shape, with a promising career ahead of me. I don't worry about finding/attracting guys, but I do worry about attracting the right kind with my weird sexual preference. So if a guy really likes treating you rough/degrading in bed, can they really care about you, love you, and want the best for you in your relationship? Is it crazy to desire contradicting attitudes in bed and in the rest of your relationship? I'm hoping to get some answers from guys in relationships/dating who like rough sex.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure, a guy can still love you while doing all these things. Rough sex, itself, is perfectly find. Hard poundings, deep anal sex, rimjobs hair pulling, are all perfectly acceptable, to most, and by many considered passionate, though I can understand where some might not want it. Still it's fine, itself.

    I've known quite a few loving S&M couples who do this. Basically the choking, slapping, pinning, orders, demands, instructions, degrading and domination is all just a game of sorts. It's something you decide on, and set down rules, and where things can and can't go. While you're at it, even set up a "safety word" that instructs the other partner to STOP NOW. After that, you just "play" so to speak. Any good dominator or dominatrix knows how to compartmentalize the game separately from the rest of their lives and feelings. Any who don't are generally considered a bad dom'.

    Just remember that these things are just a game, and make sure your partner knows the difference, as well. Otherwise, as soon as they start breaking rules, or start taking out their aggression on you in game, you need to get out. Just kick them to the curb and never let them come back.

    Short answer of it all, is, yes, someone who enjoys having rough sex, or domination, can indeed, still love you. Just be sure to discuss the rules, first.