Can a guy who likes having rough sex with you also love you?

I clearly get turned on by rough sex/ the guy being very dominant. I like gentle choking, hair pulling, face/ass slapping, pinning, anal, rough bjs, being instructed/ordered. I realize this is weird and extreme but I can't help it and I am otherwise a nice, privileged young woman; a university student, in shape, with a promising career ahead of me. I don't worry about finding/attracting guys, but I do worry about attracting the right kind with my weird sexual preference. So if a guy really likes treating you rough/degrading in bed, can they really care about you, love you, and want the best for you in your relationship? Is it crazy to desire contradicting attitudes in bed and in the rest of your relationship? I'm hoping to get some answers from guys in relationships/dating who like rough sex.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure, a guy can still love you while doing all these things. Rough sex, itself, is perfectly find. Hard poundings, deep anal sex, rimjobs hair pulling, are all perfectly acceptable, to most, and by many considered passionate, though I can understand where some might not want it. Still it's fine, itself.

    I've known quite a few loving S&M couples who do this. Basically the choking, slapping, pinning, orders, demands, instructions, degrading and domination is all just a game of sorts. It's something you decide on, and set down rules, and where things can and can't go. While you're at it, even set up a "safety word" that instructs the other partner to STOP NOW. After that, you just "play" so to speak. Any good dominator or dominatrix knows how to compartmentalize the game separately from the rest of their lives and feelings. Any who don't are generally considered a bad dom'.

    Just remember that these things are just a game, and make sure your partner knows the difference, as well. Otherwise, as soon as they start breaking rules, or start taking out their aggression on you in game, you need to get out. Just kick them to the curb and never let them come back.

    Short answer of it all, is, yes, someone who enjoys having rough sex, or domination, can indeed, still love you. Just be sure to discuss the rules, first.


What Guys Said 4

  • Yes, I think everyone likes to be a little rough at some times (although half the things you mention I have not done or received!) and it would take time to find someone to do that but I think that is half the battle. If you find a nice guy and fall for him then I think both of you will be more open to sex and things like that.

    One of my exs was a pure princess outside (high class, top university, rich family, etc) but she was amazing and dirty in bed (which was nice sometimes :) ). Of course, she wasn't like that right away, it took time to build up trust and talk to each other. Dialogue is half the battle. If you are just looking to get laid then go to a bar. If you want a real relationship then put in the time and you will get the rewards.

  • Sure, if I knew I could make my lady happy during sex like that, hell I'd do it because I know she wants it, as long as it didn't harm her permanently (i.e. breaking bones, scarring, etc). I'm not myself into rough sex, but if it makes the two of you happy why the hell not?

  • I think I love you.

    (Does he respect you and value your thoughts, feeling and well being outside the bedroom? I would be cautious cause someone that he treats rough because he doesn't care will have no importance once the thrill of abusing you is gone)

    (I love to do some rough stuff at home but I don't think I could be that rough with someone I care about (you can read between the lines to draw your own conclusion))

    Btw - that is frickin hot


What Girls Said 3

  • Of course! Rough sex is just one of many kinds... sometimes you just need to let the animal out.

  • Of course they can. Their sexual desires of what they do and want in the bed has no effect on the capability of love they have for you. Obviously unless he's a player but that's besides the point.

  • i think it is possible.