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Is jealousy a turn off?

Would you consider not dating someone because they were a jealous person?

Most Helpful Opinion

  • If they're jealous I would absolutely not date them. It's an absolute deal breaker. That's assuming I knew about it in advance. If it came up later after I started dating her, then I would give her exactly three chances. Starting with the first, I will explain to her, very clearly, that she either packs that shit away and learns to trust me, or this relationship would never work. I would also detail that this was strike one. Seriously, jealousy needs to be stopped immediately, or it gets worse.

    Harsh? Maybe. But I'm sorry, I've dated jealous girls before. It always sucks. I don't like having her looking over my shoulder, snooping through my stuff, and trying to find things she thinks I'm hiding, that I would gladly volunteer anyway. I am not a man who hides things. I am not a man who cheats. I am not a man who lies. Yes I may look at another girl. Yes I may assess her level of attractiveness, what makes her look good, or look at her clothes and gauge her fashion.

    Yes, I may talk to other girls; that can happen since females make up about 50% of the world's population. Sometimes I may even flirt, though I will freely admit that it's not cool, but I can pretty much guarantee, that A: It's just part of my personality, B: it's totally subconscious, and thus, C: it honestly means nothing at all. In the end it's just words. I do not actually lust after other girls. I do not directly hit on other girls. I am not trying to cheat. If I have a good thing with my girl, why in hell and earth, would I ever want to jeopardize that by cheating?

    I want you to make no mistake about something. Jealousy is not about caring. It's not about how much you like someone. It's not about love. It plain and simple is not about anything good at all. Jealousy is about insecurity, and control. It's about possession. It's about distrust. It's about paranoia. None of this is good.

    It's detrimental to any relationship, because it shows how shaky the ground is. It shows that at any moment you could kick a hornets nest by just saying or doing something that could be misunderstood. It makes the accused feel uncomfortable, miserable and always second guessing, or watching over their own shoulder, in hopes not to offend the jealous party. Meanwhile the jealous party is wasting a ton of time and energy building up all kinds of anger and distrust over what might be nothing. Explain to me how that's fun for anyone.

    If you can't trust the person you're with, then why the fucking fuck are you with them in the first place? Oh, and to anyone reading, don't give me that shit argument that "I trust my partner, I just don't trust THEM" because that's bullshit. It's the same thing. If your partner is really trustworthy, then nothing will happen. It takes two to cheat. Period. Unless you actually, very seriously, think that your partner will get date-raped by a roofie-colada, you have NOTHING to worry about.

    Yes, jealousy is a major turn off for me. I have a lot of good reasons for this.

    • Amen!... I would like to be friends if you are a member

What Guys Said 32

  • A pinch of jealousy is good because it shows you care...but too much causes stress in a relationship that will cause it to fail.

  • If she were ALWAYS jealous, like if I talked to a girl I've been friends with since childhood, then we would have problems. If it were just something occasional, maybe. I'm not the type to go about trying to spark jealousy though.

  • It is a total deal breaker for me because I expect them to behave rationally in those situations where jealousy would otherwise cause them to be impulsive.

  • some amount of jealous is fine with me. It means that a person really cares about you. But ongoing, persistent, and especially irrational jealousy is not good and a potential reason to end a relationship

  • Yes I would, because jealousy is a emotion that is destructive and often physically, so unless the person in question was willing to help themselves by getting help, then I would consider very strongly about walking away and moving on,x

  • Of course!

    A tiny bit of jealous is expected when you're first getting to know someone, mostly because there's no trust built up yet... but when someone is a "jealous person" that sounds more like an immature insecure person... which spells burden!


  • How jealous? If I talk to another lady, will she literally murder that person?

    • That sounds like straight-up psychopathy, to me. Or are you one of those people who horribly misuses the word "Literally"? (For example: Like the people who say "i was literally beside myself".)

    • I meant "literally" as it is defined in the dictionary.

  • some jealousy is healthy... it means you care . But if it is turning into an interrogation and mistrust then this is problematic.

  • Yes it is a serious turn off and it is something I would break up over.

  • I think it can sabotage the relationship tbh

  • A little jealousy in girls is a turn on. Too much...no.

  • YES ITS A TURN OFF, in what way could it be a turn on?

  • Unless overdone I quite like it. Knowing that a girl wants me all to herself is quite a turn-on but it does get annoying when she wants you to carry around a gps.

  • A little bit of jealousy isn't bad, but a ton where I'm being questioned on everything is a HUGE turn off. I need someone who knows I wouldn't do something to jeopardize my relationship. Nothing wrong with having friends.

  • Usually guys like their girlfriend to kill off all the competition in brute fashion, preferrably in a gladatorial arena with lions or some other type of large carnivore species chained just enough to reach the perimeter of the proving ground. ; )

    But also I think most guys would say either very little or none. I think this is one of the few things men and women sorta have in common. I think both like a little bit of jealousy to show that the other person is into their partner and has a vested interest in them. Too much is a turn off. Maryland hunh?

    • yes in montgomery county

    • oh, cool...not that far away...

      yea...I took a little hiatus...sorry

  • It at least shows they care. Not so much a turnoff for me

  • You know, I must admit that it would be a nice feeling having my girlfriend jealous of some other girl I know or something... I would know I am appreciated, and that she do not wanna loose me. But of course too much jealousy is a turn off. Balance in everything is best. :)

  • No I would not date a jealous woman. An ex of mine actually went through my cell phone while it was charging next to me as I was dead asleep. She got on me for a text that was to one of my female cousins. Yeah its a deal breaker.

  • like everithing there must be a balance

  • I think its super cute when my girlfriend gets jealous :). It means that person loves you and cares for you. It can be a little annoying somtimes but that's life ;p. So its not really a turn off for me :P

  • could be a turn on :)

  • To a point its awesome because it shows that she cares about you, but after a while it could become a hassle... I wouldn't not date a person cause she was jealous, but I might break things off if I find I have no breathing room.

  • all humans are at least a little jealous, so no, no problem, but KEY word on LITTLE, actually, you can be super jealous if you like, BUT! I don't mind if you are like "wahhh his coworker is hot, I feel jealous", but if you start "your coworker is a sl*t (you don't even know her), I don't want you to talk with her", then it becomes a problem, I mean, if the man is the player kind of guy, and is quick to fall on temptation then is OK to put boundaries, but if they guy has been a gentleman and you start nagging unjustified then it IS a MAYOR problem. is like the guys being all perverts, you know your guy when he sees a hot woman on the street, he would want to almost eat her, there's no shame in that (luckily my Girlfriend understands :) ) the problem is not his "animal" nature that makes him lust after girls, the problem is when acts on that nature and chases those girls, jealousy is the same, is natural, is part of you, but there is a time and place to let it flow, and just like a man can be exploting of lust with every hot girl he sees , you CAN NOT just be like "yes, I'm jealous 24/7 deal with it" is just EQUALLY rude IMO, I woud say, if you want to be checking up on your man, spooking EVERY other girl away, and giving up to live in constant jealousy (is more common than what you'd think), then your man kind of has the right to behave like a dog in heat, it's his nature, isn't it? if you don't control your, why would he?

  • There's a stigma against jealousy of any form. People think (including myself sometimes) that if you show any kind of possessiveness towards someone that you'll instantly push them away and end up single.

    Jealous feelings happen to most everyone, but it's how far you take it that makes the difference. A little bit of natural jealousy is no biggie. When a person is constantly asking for reassurance, explanations, alibis, and all that is when it gets exhausting and isn't worth it IMO.

    So yeah, it just depends on if the person can be DESCRIBED as a jealous person lol

  • Depends on how bad is it. If I can't talk to anyother girl just because she doesn't like it goodbye.

  • Nope. It means she is more faithful.

    • I disagree. I had an ex who was jealous as hell. Turns out she was projecting. She cheated on me with like three guys, that I could prove.

  • Knowing that someone is afraid of loosing you is cool. Thinking that your partner doesn't trust you is fatal to a relationship.

  • A little is fine & it actually shows she's into me. If she never, ever got jealous I'd probably wonder if she was. I have been with a couple that were just too overbearing & would accuse me of sleeping with every girl that looked in our general direction. Gets annoying.

    If she can't trust me then it's time to let them go.

  • Yes and No.

    A little bit of jealousy is fine and I guess kind of normal.

    Too much of it isn't and can actually be a real turn off.

  • a girl with a pulse can do it for me . I don't want to die alone

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What Girls Said 9

  • Yeah, that could be a real problem.

  • Absolutely. I think it's so childish and immature when a guy that I'm with gets mad at other guys just for looking.

    I saw a guy out in public one time get up and start a scene with some random dude because he was staring at his girlfriend's rack. Her boobs were HUGE too, even I was like, "DAMN!" He almost beat the other guy up too, but the manager at the restaurant came over and asked him to leave.

    The guy might as well have stamped "I'm immature" right across his forehead.

  • It is a turn off if someone is constantly jealous. If they din't change this attitude I'd probably not date them.

  • its good sometimes because it shows that you care and you don't want anything to ruin your relationship, but being super jealous 24/7 its a huge turn off.

  • If the person exhibited that they knew how to deal with the emotion in an appropriate manner it wouldn't matter to me. Everyone has their faults.

  • Yes it's a turn-off

  • I hate jealous guys! It is a big turn off! Some guys like a girl to be a little jealous but that's a fine line between being a little jealous and overboard jealous! I'm not jealous at all and I need to be with someone who is the same I like to flirt but it doesn't mean anything! When me and my boyfriend go out to the club he never has to buy me drinks because other guys do.. He doesn't get mad if I dance with other guys or talk to other guys because he knows I'm going home with him at the end of night! And I'm the same way with him and other women!

  • I like the idea of a jealous passionate boyfriend.I can see how it'd get annoying tho

  • no I love when a guy is jealous and wants you all to himself, its cute:) but like everyone else is saying in moderation! otherwise it would be creepy and overbearing

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