Is jealousy a turn off?

Would you consider not dating someone because they were a jealous person?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If they're jealous I would absolutely not date them. It's an absolute deal breaker. That's assuming I knew about it in advance. If it came up later after I started dating her, then I would give her exactly three chances. Starting with the first, I will explain to her, very clearly, that she either packs that shit away and learns to trust me, or this relationship would never work. I would also detail that this was strike one. Seriously, jealousy needs to be stopped immediately, or it gets worse.

    Harsh? Maybe. But I'm sorry, I've dated jealous girls before. It always sucks. I don't like having her looking over my shoulder, snooping through my stuff, and trying to find things she thinks I'm hiding, that I would gladly volunteer anyway. I am not a man who hides things. I am not a man who cheats. I am not a man who lies. Yes I may look at another girl. Yes I may assess her level of attractiveness, what makes her look good, or look at her clothes and gauge her fashion.

    Yes, I may talk to other girls; that can happen since females make up about 50% of the world's population. Sometimes I may even flirt, though I will freely admit that it's not cool, but I can pretty much guarantee, that A: It's just part of my personality, B: it's totally subconscious, and thus, C: it honestly means nothing at all. In the end it's just words. I do not actually lust after other girls. I do not directly hit on other girls. I am not trying to cheat. If I have a good thing with my girl, why in hell and earth, would I ever want to jeopardize that by cheating?

    I want you to make no mistake about something. Jealousy is not about caring. It's not about how much you like someone. It's not about love. It plain and simple is not about anything good at all. Jealousy is about insecurity, and control. It's about possession. It's about distrust. It's about paranoia. None of this is good.

    It's detrimental to any relationship, because it shows how shaky the ground is. It shows that at any moment you could kick a hornets nest by just saying or doing something that could be misunderstood. It makes the accused feel uncomfortable, miserable and always second guessing, or watching over their own shoulder, in hopes not to offend the jealous party. Meanwhile the jealous party is wasting a ton of time and energy building up all kinds of anger and distrust over what might be nothing. Explain to me how that's fun for anyone.

    If you can't trust the person you're with, then why the fucking fuck are you with them in the first place? Oh, and to anyone reading, don't give me that shit argument that "I trust my partner, I just don't trust THEM" because that's bullshit. It's the same thing. If your partner is really trustworthy, then nothing will happen. It takes two to cheat. Period. Unless you actually, very seriously, think that your partner will get date-raped by a roofie-colada, you have NOTHING to worry about.

    Yes, jealousy is a major turn off for me. I have a lot of good reasons for this.


What Guys Said 32

  • some amount of jealous is fine with me. It means that a person really cares about you. But ongoing, persistent, and especially irrational jealousy is not good and a potential reason to end a relationship

  • A pinch of jealousy is good because it shows you care...but too much causes stress in a relationship that will cause it to fail.

  • Of course!

    A tiny bit of jealous is expected when you're first getting to know someone, mostly because there's no trust built up yet... but when someone is a "jealous person" that sounds more like an immature insecure person... which spells burden!


  • all humans are at least a little jealous, so no, no problem, but KEY word on LITTLE, actually, you can be super jealous if you like, BUT! I don't mind if you are like "wahhh his coworker is hot, I feel jealous", but if you start "your coworker is a sl*t (you don't even know her), I don't want you to talk with her", then it becomes a problem, I mean, if the man is the player kind of guy, and is quick to fall on temptation then is OK to put boundaries, but if they guy has been a gentleman and you start nagging unjustified then it IS a MAYOR problem. is like the guys being all perverts, you know your guy when he sees a hot woman on the street, he would want to almost eat her, there's no shame in that (luckily my Girlfriend understands :) ) the problem is not his "animal" nature that makes him lust after girls, the problem is when acts on that nature and chases those girls, jealousy is the same, is natural, is part of you, but there is a time and place to let it flow, and just like a man can be exploting of lust with every hot girl he sees , you CAN NOT just be like "yes, I'm jealous 24/7 deal with it" is just EQUALLY rude IMO, I woud say, if you want to be checking up on your man, spooking EVERY other girl away, and giving up to live in constant jealousy (is more common than what you'd think), then your man kind of has the right to behave like a dog in heat, it's his nature, isn't it? if you don't control your, why would he?

  • Yes I would, because jealousy is a emotion that is destructive and often physically, so unless the person in question was willing to help themselves by getting help, then I would consider very strongly about walking away and moving on,x

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What Girls Said 9

  • Yeah, that could be a real problem.

  • Absolutely. I think it's so childish and immature when a guy that I'm with gets mad at other guys just for looking.

    I saw a guy out in public one time get up and start a scene with some random dude because he was staring at his girlfriend's rack. Her boobs were HUGE too, even I was like, "DAMN!" He almost beat the other guy up too, but the manager at the restaurant came over and asked him to leave.

    The guy might as well have stamped "I'm immature" right across his forehead.

  • It is a turn off if someone is constantly jealous. If they din't change this attitude I'd probably not date them.

  • its good sometimes because it shows that you care and you don't want anything to ruin your relationship, but being super jealous 24/7 its a huge turn off.

  • Yes it's a turn-off

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