Is jealousy a turn off?

Would you consider not dating someone because they were a jealous person?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If they're jealous I would absolutely not date them. It's an absolute deal breaker. That's assuming I knew about it in advance. If it came up later after I started dating her, then I would give her exactly three chances. Starting with the first, I will explain to her, very clearly, that she either packs that shit away and learns to trust me, or this relationship would never work. I would also detail that this was strike one. Seriously, jealousy needs to be stopped immediately, or it gets worse.

    Harsh? Maybe. But I'm sorry, I've dated jealous girls before. It always sucks. I don't like having her looking over my shoulder, snooping through my stuff, and trying to find things she thinks I'm hiding, that I would gladly volunteer anyway. I am not a man who hides things. I am not a man who cheats. I am not a man who lies. Yes I may look at another girl. Yes I may assess her level of attractiveness, what makes her look good, or look at her clothes and gauge her fashion.

    Yes, I may talk to other girls; that can happen since females make up about 50% of the world's population. Sometimes I may even flirt, though I will freely admit that it's not cool, but I can pretty much guarantee, that A: It's just part of my personality, B: it's totally subconscious, and thus, C: it honestly means nothing at all. In the end it's just words. I do not actually lust after other girls. I do not directly hit on other girls. I am not trying to cheat. If I have a good thing with my girl, why in hell and earth, would I ever want to jeopardize that by cheating?

    I want you to make no mistake about something. Jealousy is not about caring. It's not about how much you like someone. It's not about love. It plain and simple is not about anything good at all. Jealousy is about insecurity, and control. It's about possession. It's about distrust. It's about paranoia. None of this is good.

    It's detrimental to any relationship, because it shows how shaky the ground is. It shows that at any moment you could kick a hornets nest by just saying or doing something that could be misunderstood. It makes the accused feel uncomfortable, miserable and always second guessing, or watching over their own shoulder, in hopes not to offend the jealous party. Meanwhile the jealous party is wasting a ton of time and energy building up all kinds of anger and distrust over what might be nothing. Explain to me how that's fun for anyone.

    If you can't trust the person you're with, then why the fucking fuck are you with them in the first place? Oh, and to anyone reading, don't give me that shit argument that "I trust my partner, I just don't trust THEM" because that's bullshit. It's the same thing. If your partner is really trustworthy, then nothing will happen. It takes two to cheat. Period. Unless you actually, very seriously, think that your partner will get date-raped by a roofie-colada, you have NOTHING to worry about.

    Yes, jealousy is a major turn off for me. I have a lot of good reasons for this.

    • Report

      Amen!... I would like to be friends if you are a member