Do men really love the type of women who cater to them?

I am like a total rooky with this thing called love and I wondering, just wondering if there are men out there that really love it when a woman cooks his food and serves it. And loves it when she really cater to her man. I did all these things but still it wasn't enough, he didn't appreciated this. So I is this just my luck or do I need to wake up and smell the flowers?

just wanted to say to all thanks for the great advices you gave me. its really helpfull because I was getting insecure and started to think that maybe I am oldfashioned or beeing toooo sweet. I do deserve someone who knows how to appreciate things.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Do men really love the type of women who cater to them?

    Yes as it seems guys tend to love being the center of attention and having a gal submit to him and being catered to gives both as he's fawned over and he's in a position of power.

    Just wondering is there are men out there that really love it when a woman cooks his food and serves it?

    There are many guys like that out there as it seems guys tend to dislike doing household work and like the domination and power aspect to a gal serving him.

    So is this just my luck or do I need to wake up and smell the flowers?

    Probably both it's luck of your own making as you chose to be with this unappreciative guy and perhaps it's suited for you to wake up and smell the flowers by reevaluating the guys you're attracted to or the guys you attract.

    • I didn't downvote you but you seem a little bit embittered there, lol.

    • hey I'm fine with cooking if my wifes gona be fine with eating kd and whatnot but food isn't something I put a lot of effort into and girls tend to enjoy putting effort into it I just eat to fill myself

    • @funkadelic5

      What seems to be and what is tend to differ. I don't have anything to bitter about


      Some gals tend to enjoy putting effort into cooking. Seeing as studies show less gals know how to cook it's a bit skewed to say "girls" as if speaking about girls in general.

What Guys Said 34

  • Are there men who like that? Of course. But there has to be balance in the relationship, or it isn't going to last, and a big part of that means the girl can't do that for a guy if the guy doesn't appreciate it.

    While you don't want to be "keeping score" down to the last point, it should be a two-way street. Example: my girlfriend likes to cook and serve me when I'm over (I cook sometimes too), and I appreciate that, but I don't take it for granted. And I do things for her, like last week, when the starter in her car died and I was out changing it in the cold and rain. She was prepared to pay a shop to do it, but I did it myself because I could, and I wanted to. And she appreciated it.

    Those things may not be exactly equal, or, if you were keeping score, one or the other might be ahead much of the time, but in the end, we have a balance, and we're both aware of what the other person does for us. If you have that, you're good, and if you don't have that, then you shouldn't be doing things for the other person, because IMO part of being in a relationship means that you are OBLIGATED to notice and appreciate the things your partner does for you.

  • The only thing my wife makes me attend to on my own is my daily bowel movement, and even then she handles the paperwork.

  • I like it but I don't think it's the most important thing to me.

    First of all you can't make someone love you. They simply have to feel that way towards you. But your actions ARE important to sustaining love.

    For me, sex, affection, and feeling appreciated are more imports not sustaining love. Nice actions are good but below the above three.

  • Wow, you had bad luck.

    I've been dating since before you were born and can count the number of women who've cooked and served it to me on one hand. It's kind of an unwritten rule in the post-feminist world: men don't ask women to make dinner. We learn to cook for ourselves and then enjoy being treated extra special for it.

    Next time see if the guy is worthy after the first meal, then if not you can pretend you don't know how to cook anything else.

    I want someone who'll cook with me, then I'll know if we truly work together well. I've had that a few times, and I miss it. Maybe you should see if your boyfriends can keep up with you in the kitchen without tripping over you. Then you'll know if he's a real catch.

  • Nobody wants to do a lot of work and feel like it's not appreciated. That's true if you are at work, cooking, or anything else. Personally I love it when a woman cooks for me and serves my food. I also appreciate it and will let her know.

    You didn't say if you actually like cooking or if he "expected" you to. What the two of you want needs to be a match. If you want to cook for him and he appreciates it then great. If you hate it then you shouldn't do it.

    It's all about give and take, and compatibility. The specific things that each contribute to the relationship are not nearly as important as there being some kind of balance. If the relationship becomes lopsided, that's a real problem. If you cook for a guy and he doesn't appreciate it, and is a lazy a** who doesn't lift a finger to do anything, then dump the bum and find someone else.

    If you cook and he fixes the car and plumbing, that's fine. If you fix the car and plumbing and he cooks, that's fine too. As long as you are both satisfied with how the chores are divided up.

  • Sounds like you make a massive effort towards your men, so don't worry if you get the odd nob who doesn't appreciate it, because these guys are boys not men, and real men show appreciation,x

    • thats very nice of you, thank you

  • I realize this question already has a BA but I liked the question & am answering it the way I see it. I also answer questions not for a BA but to try & help resolve something if & when I can though ofcourse BA is well appreciated ;)

    I don't go by Adam and Eve's evolution but I go by the facts as we know them i.e. that it may have begun in Africa (it's evolution cause it changes and adapts which explains the various colors/races/ethnicity etc) then from the Hylobatidae (Gibbons) & Ponginae (Orangutans) to the Homo Erectus and Neanderthals & finally to the Homo Sapiens Sapiens which is us 'humans'

    By and large the male has been the dominant species as far as physical power goes while the female has been the 'submissive' species. Submissive (not less powerful - when required) cause the female has historically has had the power to bear with situations (like bearing the pain of pregnancy, PMS etc). The female in even the earlier species has cared for the young, looked after well being of the elders etc. In short the female has always been endowed with emotion, compassion etc. Everything that has it's positives has negatives 2 - nature's law.

    A woman thus is generally happier if allowed her freedom like anyone else. Owing to her passion, compassion and other such qualities given to her by nature her world centers around 'pleasing' (by cooking, washing etc etc) those near and around her - such as u

    The man that is seen as crude & dominating has always been the 'provider' and 'thinker'. 'Chivalry' etc too was created by man made society ;) to protect & ensure women's rights & that women are treated with the grace and gentleness they deserve to be.

    Man is also generally more of the persona nongrata than women are but there are certainly women who are 2 :D and that is because of the way nature has made both of them.

    When a woman shows her love by 'catering' to her man (which is natural instinct), she expects him to be happy with it while some men are insatiable with anything (maybe they are confused with themselves). I personally love pampering the woman I love & my daughter. May it be cooking for them or massaging them when they are tired, running their errands. But again not everything done makes them happy. The woman I love, loved me cause I am as she describes me 'strikingly handsome, aggressive, strong clarivoyance, deep voice, high position ...'. Though she'd love me & say she's lucky to have me there would be times she would simply get angry when I massage her legs in the night when she's tired etc. That's confusion / conflict within her that shows up as irritation when one is unable to vocalize it. That hasn't changed me one bit. I'd still do what I do for them no matter how much I'm pushed away cause I understand dey are human & prone to errors.

    In your case, this man or any other I'd say don't change yourself. Just change your perception. Appreciation can be felt even in their irritation :) - just learn 2 read d other person

    Luck part exists 2 :D

  • Men like women who CARE for them.

    Of course, you can't spell CATER without the same letters as CARE (and a 'T' for trying) =)

  • Sure, I love my mother.

  • Depends on the guy. Some guys like being waited on. Others like it the other way around.

  • You should find a man who appreciates anything you do for them. Anything. As for me, I don't mind being catered to, a little. I'm just slightly uncomfortable because I like taking turns.

  • I like it occasionally. My girlfriend will sometimes cook me dinner which is nice. I don't need a girl to cater to me though. I can do my own laundry and make my own food and all of that good stuff. But I always appreciate it when she does it for me.

  • Yes we do, and a real man is appreciative and grateful. Don't force yourself because we will know it and you will end up resentful. But if you are good with it, it is the key to a peaceful, satisfying relationship.

  • Absolutely! The best, happiest, most successful relationships are those in which both partners cater to the others' needs, whatever they are. The key is to be appreciative and grateful, and never take one another for granted. My wife and I relearn that lesson from time to time. :)

  • I think it's amazing!

  • Yeah. That's like a man that protects the house.

  • of course they do. I wish I could find a woman like that. but most dumbasses here won't appreciate that since is now how things are done now a days

  • I wouldn't use the word "cater". I like it when she cooks for me, but I also cook for her. It's more that I like that she's doing something for me to be nice. Like everything, do it with MODERATION. Not all day every day

  • heelll yeah in this date and age, finding a woman like that is completely rare, so off course we do.

  • Depends on the man but no one will love you if you completely change yourself for others.

  • i personally, like a girl who is independent - takes the time to let me feel like a big strong protector - appreciates my advice etc.

    i.e. she makes me feel like a man. but then she'll play hard to get - keeping the spark / tension going.

    one who caters to my every whim - I can see myself liking that. but then I would eventually get too comfortable with it - and take her for granted.

    so I think it has to be a balance of throwing us a slight curve ball every now and again.

    for example, you have a diy job needs doing - 9/10 I would like her to ask for my help - makes me feel like I have something useful I bring to the table. but then every now and again surprise me by doing it herself...

    hmmm I don't know if that rambling makes sense.

  • I like my women how I like my refrigerator...

    In the kitchen.

  • Your mistake is assuming that all men are the same. But as for me, it isn't really "catering". I pay for any outings we do and she makes me some meals and picks me up at places on occasion. It kind of shows that she is willing to put effort into it just as much as I am.

  • Get back in the kitchen and cook me my turkery pot pie

  • Any man who only expects his girlfriend/wife to cater to his every will is a twisted D-bag that has failed view on life. Women were not put on earth to do everything for men. If a man can't do even the simplest of tasks, he doesn't deserve help from anbody. Re-evaluate your choices before you let yourself fall into submission. Overall, it's a nice thing to do on ocassion, but you don't want to fall under his control.

  • Hell yeah we do, I'm sure this one guy just didn't appreciate you.

  • Guys love it when a girl caters them and I think I most of the guys would agree with me on this :P. Sounds to me like your boyfriend or ex didn't appreciate the things you did, so you'll be just fine the way you are ;)

  • I'd like for sometimes her to cook, sometimes me, and sometimes both together :)

  • This is what I think.


  • lots of girls can't cook these days, or keep a home clean. I'm a guy, I do all the guys stuff and I can do all the women stuff too. As a whole I find a lot of girls very unimpressive nowadays. They've been liberated for a while, and that's cool. But, with freedom comes responsibilities, and most women don't want to hear about those. May be my views are skewed though, just haven't found that many women with a reasonable balance in their lives.

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What Girls Said 5

  • i did a lot of cooking and cleaning and shopping for my ex. I didn't do everything for him right off the bat though. I started doing more and more after being with him (we were together 3.5 yrs)

    by nature I like to take care of people. if its naturally what YOU do and who you are, don't change.

    i used to love taking care of my ex and he appreciated the things I did (and would tell me he appreciated it when I would go over the top). you have to be careful not to baby them or mother them though. and sometimes when you do it TOO much they get used to it, expect it, and don't appreciate it as much as they once did.

  • Don't let one man's failure to appreciate scar your desire to treat a man well. That was a poor example to work with.

    Real men appreciate a good woman and don't take advantage of it. Real men reciprocate it and show you how valuable a woman like you is. Real men know that treating a girl right is a strength, not a weakness.

    Just keep being you and doing what feels right, eventually you'll find someone who will appreciate it and show you through equally loving actions.

    There are good men in the world. Men who love you past what you do for them. Men who will love you and support you when you're not being 'perfect'. Good men who know how to take personal responsibility. Men who are realistic and accepting.

    Just keep being happy and good on your end, and don't give up on that thinking that because it didn't wok out before that it won't eventually.

    Have conviction, persistence, and patience and someone worthwhile who can see you for you and respect you will come along. Wouldn't you hate for a good man to come along and not get the good treatment he deserved yet you treated the man who didn't deserve it that way?

    Stay in good spirits about it. Preserve your integrity.

    • Disclaimer: I don't mean be his slave or his submitter. Don't baby him. Be his PARTNER. Be loving without thinking you have to prove yourself worth loving. Trust me, the right man won't let you feel like you HAVE to. He won't let you be his slave. You'll work TOGETHER and be EQUAL in love. You'll have a relationship full of the right kind of cycle.

  • Ha I do what I want, I might cook for a guy who is incapable of cooking for him self apart from that no I don't cater , though cooking is catering but I would not just be his slave , Jesus ... Suffrage Set us free . Expect a bit of equality. . God lol

  • I think guys would like it, but its not enough to base a relationship on. You need to also be fun and attractive (not just physically but personality wise too) so doing all,that cooking and

    Stuff is nice, but it is a pretty small part of what a guy wants from a woman. All this said, all guys are different so some may like it more than others.