Ok I have known my fiance for 4 years , we were friends for 2 years , best friends for the third year then we dated for a year and now we are engaged...
Ok I have known my fiance for 4 years , we were friends for 2 years , best friends for the third year then we dated for a year and now we are engaged .
We know each other pretty well , we are both very social and have our own lives going on , we aren't that "clingy" . We love each other very much though . I talk to him on the phone every day , we chat a lot but we don't see each other except for like 3-4 days a week and he just asked me why I don't like meeting up with him everyday . I simply respponded with " I love you and I think its healthy if we spend some time apart and give each other space... that way we can miss each other , plus we are getting married soon so you will see me all the time in our house"
He just said ok...
is there a better way to handle this ? was I really wrong
Ok so I kinda left this part out : I have some issues from my day , he would cheat on my mom all the time claiming that he gets bored from her face , then one day he just left ... I know my fiance is not my dad , but I fear a boring relationship more than anything , that's why I'm trying to give him space , make him miss me so one day he doesn't just decide he's done with me... I know that sounds weird , I didn't want to tell him cause I didn't want him to get mad at me
Not wanting to see someone every day, especially when you are young and early in a relationship, I would say that's not always a bad thing. Like you said, it keeps the relationship fresh, gives you time to grow personally and spend time on personal endeavors, and it prevents you from getting to sick of each other or fighting.
However, your reason for this distance is the red flag to me. I fear that soon this will manifest itself as trust issues. You'll likely start fighting because you feel he is about to leave you and that he isn't paying you enough attention (like your dad did to your mom), he will obviously feel otherwise and will get angry in return.
No offense but this is precisely why I've learned my lesson after being burned too many times, that its best to stay away from girls with daddy issues. It almost always leaves a lasting impression on them. That said, the two of you are engaged which means there is little turning back. Obviously you could call of the wedding which is a very serious decision to make but might be the right one. More practically, you should just simply work on addressing your insecurities so that they don't eventually befall on him, causing a rift in your marriage.
No your right, couples do live separate lives, but only when they don't work together, otherwise, getting married is your move to become one, and seeing each other every day should never be a problem but more of an excitement, but space is important, but you can still have this even when you see each other every day, I would want to see my fiance every day, why wouldn't I,x
We guys really like space but don't misconcept space with carelessness. He got some needs, be lovable to him, understand him and the fact that if he really loves you, he wants you in his arms and look after him. What you doing is great but just make sure you don't make him believe that you've lost interest in him and cares less about him. Whenever you meet him make him feel you are only his copyright protected authority.
Some alone time is always good. But I don't think it's common for people to get bored of person's face that is important to them. Try not to worry to much about him getting bored of you cause if he says he wants to see you more often I doubt he's bored.
While I agree that each of you needs personal space, do not make the mistake of getting married before living together for a couple of months. You need to see how you guys work living together before making that sort of commitment, as it's a fair bit harder to give each other space when you're sleeping on the same bed.
Not at all! You need time for yourself. He needs to understand that. I know that you guys are deeply in love with each other but you will see him all the time. Every single day. Seriously, take some "me" time. You will enjoy it! LOL!