She's scared to meet, what should I do?

So we'd been flirting and getting to know each other, she suggested I should take her out before next Valentine's day.

However, she had been seeming off lately with the "busy" hints, etc and even mentioned about being put off meeting up:

me - Wouldn't mind getting to know you more :-) x

her - What do you want to know x

me - Wondering when you are free at the weekend for me to call you? x

her - Got a pretty busy weekend to be fair like I don't know if I'll have time! x

me - It's alright I get the hint, I guess that offer of taking you out will have to go to somebody else x

her - I just feel a bit weird about talking to someone on the phone and stuff that I've never met or seen, sorry if you think that is weird x

me - was suggesting we could meet soon, but if that's what you really want... x

her - Meeting a randomer though.. It's like, I dunno. x

me - if it's because you like someone else then do that, at least you'll be happier. I'm alright meeting up but if you aren't then I can't force it.. You seem to have your mind made up x

her - No its not that. But I have a very over protective best friend who seems to think you're going to kidnap me and keep me in your basement x

me - Haha, sense of humour too! I wouldn't risk my future like that for the sake of a girl, but if its something you're not comfortable with, not much I can do.. I'd want you to be safe x

Then she doesn't reply. Should I just leave it and move on? I can't force her to meet with me. Maybe IF she's eventually comfortable then she'll come into contact again.

I'm feeling like I should stop contacting her now and only send her something if she sends something first..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "if it's because you like someone else then do that, at least you'll be happier. I'm alright meeting up but if you aren't then I can't force it.. You seem to have your mind made up"

    That is one big guilt trip. It's you assuming the victim portion of the story, and now she is pressured to either let you go and be the victim, or to come meet you and convince you she likes you. Either way, the point is, she's pressured. Personally, I rebel against pressure.

    "I wouldn't risk my future like that for the sake of a girl"

    What the heck?

    Offer to her to meet in a public place where she feels comfortable, for just a cup of coffee and she can leave quickly. Then back off a bit. If she says no, don't keep offering to meet if you keep talking to her. She needs to get comfortable with you. She needs to know you are interested in HER and her mind, not that your only desire is to meet her.

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      I would if I could but she told me it felt weird texting/calling someone she hasn't met, so my only option would be to meet her. If she's too scared to do that, I'm going around in circles.

      And yeah, I say some stupid things if a situation heats up.

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      It's up to you, hon. Handle it the way you usually would. I would let her text me next, or wait a few days, but that's me.

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      I'm thinking of letting her text me next as I texted last. I don't want to play mind games, but after what's been said, etc, I want to see if she's interested enough to initiate it with me. I feel like I should back off and not act as interested as I have been.