Why do men have mistresses?

After almost a year, I realized I was the "other woman". I got caught up in all the fireworks and his charming ways.

I don't understand why he'd have this affair, when it seems pretty clear now that he does love his son and wife. And yet, after some special moments, he looked into my eyes and cried telling me how much he trusted me, loved me, and loved the way I made him feel.

Yet-- he hasn't even tried contacting me; its been a month after our "break up". I'm pretty sure he got caught up and this was his exit route to go back to his normal life. I am not interested in being with him (of course), but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. We had incredible chemistry in all ways, so it's not easy to forget.

I'm just curious as to WHY men do this. All those lies, fake "I love you's", meeting all my friends, spending quality time with me, falling asleep cuddling and holding hands... When we'd go out, he'd brag to strangers about what an amazing woman I am & how much he loves me.

If you want more sex, don't start a new relationship. Just go find sex. But it was obvious he wasn't JUST about sex... otherwise, it wouldn't have lasted as long as it did.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Some men just aren't capable of settling down and being monogamous. They try to tell themselves and other people that they can be like that, but the reality is that they can't. Until they can be honest with themselves, they will continue to hurt themselves (and drag other people down with them).

    • Exactly, and this is what happens when a society enjoys forcing monogamy expectations on people after some time has passed. Monogamous people feel pressure to be promiscuous while they're young, and poly people feel pressure to be monogamous when they're older.