How to suppress the feeling of being in love?!?

How to suppress the feeling of being in love?!?

I NEED to not be in love, because the person I'm starting to fall in love with is just not the person I should love, because if we end up together something equally as important as love in my life will be destroyed! So...what I'm asking here is what should I be doing or not doing to stop thinking, feeling, dreaming about this boy?

We're involved in a very serious and important project for the both of us, so if we ever did get together it might ruin everything! And I do not wish to risk it!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't listen to love songs, and work hard, play harder - with your friends - not with that dude.


What Guys Said 11

  • in this video the speaker talks about love and attraction, maybe this could be a startingpoint for further studies :D link

  • Attraction is not a choice.

    The only thing you can do is cut off all communication with this person and not have them in your daily life anymore.

    Delete their number, delete them from all your social networking sites (facebook etc) and avoid them in real life.

    These actions will all look very weird for the person in question though but it's the only thing you can do if you do not want to act on your emotions...

    After a few weeks of not seeing this person your emotions will look for someone else and you will kind of forget him (not completely though, just enough to not obsess over him).

    But why can't you act on your emotions?

    • Yes, but I can't do that... :(

      I've explained this a little bit more in the update.

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    • *I'd regret living alone***

    • Haha

      Yeah...this projects will last us ad least 2 more years to

  • I know EXACTLY what you mean! Only with a girl... :P

    I don't have a great answer because I'm still struggling, but you should draw a very strict line, and make sure neither you, or him crosses it.

    You shouldn't supress the feeling, but don't go past the line of friendship, if friendship is all you want with him.

    • But... I would LOVE to have something more with him, but I know I can't!

      And I need to suppress the feeling otherwise all I'll be able to think about is him and want only him and since I shouldn't have him than I'll just suffer unnecessarily...and...who needs that?

    • Most answers are hard because of the consequnces involved either way...

      that's where true love comes in,

      you need to weigh the consequences both ways, and decide which will not hurt less, but which will hurt others less.

      For Example: The girl that I'm interested (and unfortunately obsessed with), and myself can't officialy be more than friends. Mainly because we're accountibility partners, and any relationship above friend could destroy that. So, I'm still going to tell her that I like her...

  • I don't get this most people are happy to feel the sense of being in love...Do you know that this guy cheats or something?! I'm confused...

  • NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LOVE, sorry but caps lock was on purpose because there is nothing in this world to me that is more important than love, I would be happy if I didn't have a damned thing as long as I can hold the woman I love everyday and make her life better through my love.

  • risk it. Love. don't hold back. You must suffer, you must learn. Love without barriers, without fear, complete, without thought of selfishness, fear of pain.

    • Let me ask you something...since you're a musician...

      If a girl in your band (let's say you're not a solo artist) who's WICKED and you know you could never find anyone like her, anyone who could do what she does, who could play/sing as brilliantly as she can, and you fell in love with her... Would you risk the magnificence of your band just for a chance to be with her?!?

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    • Yeah...easy for YOU to say! :P

    • The future: you with someone you don't love and respect. You turn 40 with this guy, have children with him, realize you don't love him. You dream, wish, you went with another man, especially since your career isn't what it ever promised to be. You lost your chance, and you realize, you finally understand: that love, and being with that special person, was far FAR more important than a temporary career. This is what will happen if you put career above personal relationships. Good luck

  • How are you falling in love? Just by working together on a project, talking technical things, working in close proximity and having normal office talk? If that is so, it is just an attraction, crush or fantasy of possible love. How do you know that the same feelings will remain if you get to know him intimately?

    Just the fact that it is unattainable and dangerous makes you feel anxious & afraid (which causes faster heart-beat). SInce the possibilities are end-less in the fantasy world you can not stop thinking how beautiful things can be.

    You are also probably a studious person with hardly any social life. So, this one boy at close proximity makes you feel as if he is one and the only and the most wonderful person in the world. Has he done anything special for you?

    So, my suggestion is: GET A LIFE! Go out more. Meet other people. Do other interesting things. Then this question will become redundant.

    Of course, if you are afraid of losing this feeling (because you seem to enjoy this som much) do not do anything and live in this fantasy world.

  • How serious and important can this project really be? Love over gold.

  • Only a "mastermind" personality type has the ability to switch feelings of infatuation on or off. Even then it takes years of practice. You may however find a mastermind willing to mentor you and show you how, but don't count on it. Such an ability is both priceless and rare and out of a hundred people only one will be a mastermind type.

  • To some extent, if you tell yourself something often enough, it will become true. So just sayn to yourself, over and over, all the time how much you hate will start to become true.

    • This method of falling out of love may take months, and you have to be diligent about it.

What Girls Said 8

  • You mean like friendship is the other equally important thing?

    Like is it a friends guy or something?

    I kind of need a little more background so I can direct you in the best way I can.

    • Unless he's married, drug dealer, your friend's crush or your brother... I don't see why not?

      i agree, more info on why you don't want to fall for this guy.

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    • I totally agree, it does seem like something f'ed up is going on. Are you practicing abstinence or something? In a bible group/missionary project? You can't expect people not to ask when you're making it such a big deal that you won't even let yourself love this person...if you didn't want to divulge more info you shouldn't have bothered with the question.

    • The OP has the right to ask a simple question and receive a simple answer. She didn't ask for a moral treatise on love and romance, so respect the OP's question.

      See my answer, if you are in physics you are in luck. Look for the classmate most likely to become a super-villain, he (or she) is probably a mastermind type. Talk to him/her.

  • well. I don't know if you can make love go away. You can try and you can moderate what you let of your emotions show.

    You can stop daydreaming/thinking about him (find something else to think about - keep busy), you can stop flirting/stop allowing yourself to enjoy flirting, stop acting overly friendly, avoid unnessary extra time with the person.

    You can moderate/ keep your behavoir in check: aim for 'professional' behavior. You can act that you feel nothing outside of emotions normal to a working relationship.

    And you can hope that with time the act becomes reality.

  • i found real love is really give everything you own for it and you the risk and full support on it...things would never be perfect but a lost chance may never come again...i would say I let go of my fears and go for it..if you fail its fine accept that already so you won't get hurt...theres always projects but there's not a lot of love you can is love if you lose it you lost it forever...enjoy the feeling while it lasted and odnt be too hard on is everything,sadness happiness,failure success evrything sweety...

    for your question..the only solution to not feeling so deeply inlove is to face the fear of losing it...that way you can let go if you need to and be fine without like I said is unconditional..

    it is hard when you're on it,but fulfilling when you see results for your actions...ive been there and still dreaming about it up to this was soo good while it lasted..all I can remeber now is the good times I had with it..

  • Love is amazing, and to want to suppress it and to hide from it...well, that's just the worst things that you can do.

    If you find love, hold on to it as best as you can. NEVER let go of Love.

  • You need to listen to Waking Life by Schuyler Fisk!

    • Haha

      No, no...that's just what I'm trying to avoid! Avoid listening to any romantic music, or anything that even comes close to that description!

      I chose to listen strictly to death, melodic death and black metal momentarily! xD Hahaha

      It helps! :D

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    • Haha

      Yeah, I listened to the song...I know it from the movie... doesn't make it worse. It's a tried and true method for me! xD

      I know, I'm weird, but it really seems to work!

      Music affects me greatly, so...

    • I don't think you're weird. You're just going through life just like the rest of us!

  • Love is love and when you feel it you can't hide it .I too have been feeling the love for a special guy.No matter how much I try to put him out of my mind he's always there.I believe I am in love with him and I'm hoping someday he'll feel the same way I do.

  • I think I get it. It's too complicated to write it all down here and it's too complicated if you allow you and this get involved in a relationship. Basically you are stuck. Can't love him but can't forget him. You can't move forward and you can't move backwards. No matter how you look at the situation you come to this conclusion that no matter what you can't be with this person. Your reasons may be valid but don't expect people to understand it no matter how much detail you try to describe it.

    You can try and keep yourself busy and try to pretend that you don't love hime and try to spend as little time with this person or cut them off completely but I gaurantee you, if this is true love, it isn't going to go away.

    I am going through the same thing. First I hated the guy. Then as I took the hint he liked me I liked him back. Then when he started to make subtle moves onme I put up a wall and cut off all ties from this guy. But as years went by I realized I actually do have real feelings for this guy. 3 years on I finally forgot him then 6 months later something came over me and he was back in my mind. MInd you I haven't seen him all these years but the feelings came back even stronger than before. 5 months later, I saw him. We just stared at each other and he cut off from his friends and was getting closer to me and I just shut him out again. About the same time I had a miscarriage. Now he is still in my mind and he is the one I still think of everyday, every moment. It kills me. There are too many things stopping us from being together and one thing is that he doesn't know how I feel.

    What I want to say is weigh the options here. Don't try and shut him out because it won't work and if you seriously can't be with him then cherish the friendship if he is special to you. I don't have any because I didn't let it happen. I am the one who lost in the end.

  • I'm in the same situation. I feel for a guy who was beyond perfect but found out that he's only like that around me. With me he is sweet and cares but with everyone else he is a jerk. We were really good friends and still are but he probably doesn't feel the same way I do. He is one of my good friend's exes and he still has feelings for her. She really broke his heart and he used to tell me I was able to fix it just by smiling. I don't blame him for being a jerk. Everyone tells me I need to get over him but I really love him. I've tried avoiding him but it doesn't work well because we have to see each other daily. Some people say that the reason I can't stop thinking about him is because we were made for each other, they offer to set us up sometimes. What I thought might help was to write out why you like him and why you don't, like a pros and cons list. This didn't work for me because I realized that there were more pros than cons. That probably didn't help but I know what it's like.