Are there some people that don't deserve love?

[Anonymous]

I just don't get it. Why do people judge people on things they see outside rather than on the inside (their looks, personality, etc.) and just reject other people because of that?

Even though everyone can be an asshole or a bitch, doesn't anyone think that people who are constant assholes and bitches shouldn't even deserve love in the first place? I'm aware that there's someone for everybody out there, but when it comes to douchebaggery, it's a different story.

Why can't we pair the nice people with other nice people and the assholes with the bitches? That way, I'd think would be a better place for everyone to live in, but I just want to hear your thoughts.

[Simple-Simonette]

Because we can't walk in another persons shoes to gain insight on their situations, it difficult to determine the real reason for their behavior.

The people who behave the worst also feel the worst in my opinion, and to me they are the ones that need love the most. Ugly people don't affect me too negatively, I'm too secure to allow their behavior dictate my own opinion of myself, but I do pity them because they have to be hella unhappy to have it spill out and infect their every action.

Selfish people can't know the joy in giving and will always be unsatisfied, negative people won't ever feel the contentedness of acceptance, insecure people are doomed to look for validation in everyone except themselves, and superficial, materialistic people have to eventually come to terms with the fact that looks only last for so long, usually when it's too late. Even if they never admit to themselves that they are suffering, the people I described are largely unfulfilled and spiral deeper and deeper into misery because they are always looking for the wrong thing.

Life is about balance, without ugliness how can we ever appreciate beauty? I'm grateful for the ugly people I've encountered in my life, it only made me more aware of how much better I can do and how much better I can be. Those experiences also made me appreciate the good people in my life more. Without the comparison, I would just take it all for granted. And I feel sorry for people who use and abuse, because they teach their victims valuable lessons, but are doomed to never learn themselves.

Do they deserve love? Everyone deserves love. That's what makes us human, the ability to love, regardless of how it affects ourselves. We can choose to sacrifice, even if it's against our own best interest because we have the capability to feel compassion for those that have less in their hearts and lives.

The problem with being wronged by someone that lacks feeling is at that moment, you can't see the bigger picture. You will eventually get over it, move on and hopefully find happiness. Unless they change, they are doomed to never feel loved. What fate is worst?

It's hard to suffer and see those around you who do it "wrong" have it easier - but you can't see into their hearts to understand how they feel. What's on the surface doesn't reflect what's going on inside. The best thing to do is worry about your own behavior and leave it up to Fate, the Universe, God or the Great Spaghetti Monster to balance the scales.

It's all you can really do; harboring anger or resentment is pointless and only hurts yourself.

[Jon364]

Very good answer.

[Tinkerbell_13]

I definately feel you on this...I recently told my boyfriend of two years that we're done because...this is kinda a long story...I moved in with him and his mother and me and my boyfriend shared a room together (hence we had sex) he was talking about marriage and everything and a month later she told me I had to leave because according to her...her religion (which is muslim) says that we can't be together because:

1. we're not married and we don't have any kids

2. I am not of their religion

3. she doesn't like/respect me

so I moved back to va with my family and I'm looking at schools to go to as well as a part time job and basically getting my life together...and he told me he wanted to be with me still but I know now that I'm not around his mother constantly tells him that he needs to let me go and we have been arguing for a week now because he is acting way different to me then he did when he wasnt living with his mother I tried to tell him this but of course he can never do any wrong and his mother pretty much banned me from calling him so yeah it sucks because she says she doesn't know me but she never took the time to know me and when family conversations came about I often felt ignored and I know it was becasue I don't practice their religion which I might add he never was into until he moved with his mother so he's basically putting on a act for her and all of a sudden I don't matter anymore...he used to tell me everything but now I ask him what he has planned for the weekend he says "i don't have to answer to you because your not my mother." so I just said your mom doesn't like me and I am of different religion and I can't be in that...his mother pretty much brainwashed him because she only judged me on what I look like and what religion I was. if she was so damn godly then she would have gotten to know me...you know? so I say all that to say this..it happpens...people are going to judge you only by little things looks, personality, anything under the sun and there is nothing really you can do about it its not what people call you but its what you answer to..i learned that the hard way...i cut him off completly simply because he doesn't have a mind of his own and although there is a bond between mom and child there is also a point where you have to have you own mind...she judged me and now she doesn't want her son with me...but whatever their loss becasue I am a nice girl and I don't need immaturity and judgemental people. everyone does deserve love...dont let negative ass judgemental people ruin your life. =]

[marley86]

Everyone deserve a chance at love, because that chance of love might actually help to make them a better person. For example, a total douchebag spends all his time making fun of other people, while every girl around him giggles because they think it is cool. One girl doesn't agree with him doing this, and she confronts him about his insensitivity. The guy is infatuated that this girl had the guts to stick up into him, and falls for this girl-hard. He starts trying to be nice to everyone, and develops into a gentleman because of this girl. I know that this doesn't always happen this way, but this did happen to me. I was the girl that stuck up to the guy, and made him realize that his behavior would lead him nowhere good. We never ended up dating, or anything, but it did up changing him for the better. He is now married to a really nice girl that I went to high school with. Yeah, a douchbag/bitch might never find that girl/guy that has enough ability to make them change for the better, but there is always a possibility. Who knows, maybe Hitler wouldn't have been such a douchebag if he would of had some real love in his life as a child. Love can change people, and I truly believe that!

[faberfan]

That depends on how different people view love. Love can be the most selfish thing one can desire, or it can be the most selfless; its all in how a person views it. Whether we like admitting it or not, looks matter and that is the quickest way you can make a judgement about someone. Some people can't help it, like me. If I see someone out of shape, I don't assume they are big boned, or have a thyroid problem, I see them as being lazy and unmotivated. We all make judgments on the spot. Its unfortunate, but it's as unavoidable as day turning to night.

I think everyone deserves love, but I think those who take it for granted should be at the bottom of the list. So said assholes and bitches should be on the bottom of the pole.

The problem with pairing assholes with bitches is that they don't want each other because they can't control each other. They become this way because they are able to prey on the nice ones and use them to their advantage, so pairing them would be a waste(albeit I'd love to see a reality show that does exactly that). And problems would still occur pairing the nice ones up because, as many self-declared nice guys will tell you, girls don't actually want a nice guy! Haha, which is wrong but that's another topic. I'd be more than happy with a nice girl though.

[Miss_Desirae]

That is a very good question. It's a bit difficult to answer though. I can see what you are saying, but we are all flawed. I think a lot of the time, people confuse lust for love. They think they have feelings for a person, but they are really attracted to their physical appearance. It can also probably be because of insecurities. Sometimes, a girl will fall for a guy who is a complete jerk, because he was the only person to make her feel pretty. Even when he starts to treat her like dirt, she believes that she would not be able to do better than him. Same thing goes for guys, too.

I believe that everyone needs to be loved, no matter who they are. I think that if they meet that one special person, they will be willing to change themselves and turn over a new leaf.