Why is he so abusive, when he says he loves me?

Hi I have been with my boyfriend for approximately 8 months. My first real relationship. The problem I am having is I am very attached to him but he has slowly made me lose a lot of confidence and I no longer feel like my usual, happy smiley self around him or anyone else. I met him on an... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • He's got a bad nature,with too much negativity.This won't be good for anyone around him,and it will just bring you down.If you continue,it will lower your self-esteem even more.

    They are not just jokes,if they're full of negative criticism.

    There is such a thing as constructive criticism,where someone suggests ways of making improvements and making your life easier.They'll do this without being insulting,but they're hoping you will change things in your life and they care about you.They won't ridicule you over things you cannot change.

    Being consciously aware of his negativity offers you some protection,but it will still take its toll.The coaster and the bathroom light are just telling you he has no faith in your ability to get things right (another put-down).

    He may think he loves you,but his negative words are destroying anyone close to him.He is not making you feel more valuable;it's exactly the opposite.He may be making himself feel superior when he puts you down,but that's socially unacceptable.

    This man would be a terrible influence on children,if you were to have any.They would grow up to feel worthless,achieve less,and probably turn to drugs and crime.

    If he can't re-program himself and his brain and his mouth to be more positive and up-lifting for those around him,leave while you're still strong enough.

    Print this out and show him,if you like.He needs a wake-up call.

    • I just wanted to say thank you for this answer, I broke up with him and I re-read this often to remind myself that I deserve better. So thank you :)