When a girl says they aren't ready for a relationship...

If a girl is single but says they aren't ready for a relationship is it worth sticking around and waiting until they are ready for a relationship? or is it better to move on.

* a girl I like for years and finally started going out frequently with told me that when I asked her on an official date.

  • I would stick around until they are ready
    29% (15)19% (8)24% (23)Vote
  • I wouldn't stick around
    71% (36)81% (35)76% (71)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would tred lightly, while she could have been rejecting you, she could also honestly truly feel this way. Out of all the guys I have ever known, I have turned down the guy I was the most crazy about, the only guy I could see myself marrying, for that exact reason! Part of me feels that it was the biggest mistake of my life. However, another part of me goes look what you are doing, look what you have done, if it where really meant to be then he will be there when you are ready and will like you more for what you have done with your life. So far, I am still not ready. Deep down, I don't think he is either.

    Think about what SHE said. What do YOU think she was really saying? What do her dreams look like? What do your dreams look like? Do they line up now? Will they ever? No matter your answer to these questions, go and live your life now! If it is meant to be it will happen and she will love you more for what you have done with your life and you have allowed her to do. Don't think of this as a rejection, think of it as an opportunity to be you, before you become and us.


What Girls Said 16

  • Ask yourself if SHE'S worth it to you. Could you live your life not wondering 'what if' if you don't make a move? If you really like this girl I would give it some time. Who knows? She may be ready sooner than you think.

  • Sometimes, it really does mean they aren't ready for a relationship. And, if they were looking for one, they may consider you. However, even if a girl (or at least me) isn't ready, if it's the right guy, she'll become ready. But, if you don't make her ready when she's not, then waiting for her won't make a difference, because you aren't the one. Sorry.

    • Yes! This x a million! If she was in to you she would become ready for one!

    • IF she's worth the wait (highly unlikely). A lot of guys are used to getting knocked down by girls, now we are starting to gain enough confidence to not get pushed over so easy. We WILL make you think about it. That doesn't mean we won't take no for an answer, though. Knocking men down, will only make us stronger and try harder.

    • I never said anything about knocking men down...

  • honestly don't ...i think its a very humble gesture of saying no to you. You will be wasting your time behind her.

  • As a woman please take my advice...move on.

    • nono nonon nonono. Persistence is a very valuable tool for dating. Honestly, you can tell a single guy anything you want. The ones who really like you and have confidence, won't give up so easy. If they like you, they will go through SO many circumstances to get your interest. They are men, that's what we are trained to do. If we get put down by a girl, we back up and try again :) If we like what we see, we will do what we can do get it.

    • You come off as a creepy stalker with that attitude!

      The problem is that most girls don't want to hurt your feelings and provide an excuse instead of rejecting you. I prefer to be blunt but some guys, like you snowboarder, just refuse to take NO for an answer. MOVE ON before you end up with a restraining order.

    • You guys are both on the money! Anon has been friend zoned but she doesn't want to hurt him! Snowboarder, normally I'm with you and persistence is great, but ONLY if there's MUTUAL attraction there! Persistence, even from a little puppy dog that follows you around, when its NOT wanted, just becomes annoying! Plain and simple atm, she's just no that into him (you know the book). She may at a later date, but if its not wanted, back off. Ruined too many friendships like that!

  • If she said yes, to an official date with you, she is ready, just not with you. I am sorry but keep it friends with her, don't make it any weirder.

  • For me, it means that I am not ready to get emotionally involved. If I am not interested, I will let a guy know right away. However, if my response is 'I am not ready for a relationship'...it just means I have some things I need to work through or get over.

  • You don't want to wait around for someone who only wants to be with you on their own time, find someone who wants to be with you no wait.

  • that's usually an excuse for "im not interested." I said usually. Not always. Sometimes the girl truly isn't ready because of something going on in her life. But it's usually an excuse so don't stick around

  • You don't want to get mixed up with her. She's most likely a liar and a coward. That's the typical excuse when they don't want to go out with you. I think it's stupid. Even if she wasn't ready for a relationship, you could've hung out as friends.

  • Every time someone gives you an excuse like that, mentally add the words "with you" on the end.

  • That is usually a nicer way to say I am not interested or they are going though a lot so it is best to find someone who doesn't want to date you on their own time.

    • Nailed it! It's a hard truth but you've been friend zoned mate!

      She's too nice to be a bitch about it and that's why you like her, but read between the lines.

  • Too many other fish in the sea for waiting. Only if God came down from heaven and told me to wait. :)

    • Haha. Haters gonna hate

  • I think you should wait. She's probably at a time in her life where she's not ready or just doesn't have time for dating. If you really care about her, you'll stick around and wait for her.

  • Sometimes it could just be that she wants to see what you are all about. Afterall it doesn't make sense to jump into a relationship, realize it's not working and break up after 3 weeks. So she just wants to be comfortable when she's getting into one,

  • She is either not interested, or needs time to think of what she wants in a man or wants to wait to see your qualities


What Guys Said 11

  • it means they aren't ready for a relationship with YOU.

  • I would stick around until they are ready


    I would keeping hunting others that ARE ready

    1st come, 1st served

  • From what I've seen, they say that because they truly aren't sure that they are in the right position to have one, whether emotionally or physically. Emotionally in the sense that they have been hurt and think they can never be 'well' again. Physically because they think they can do better than what you have to offer (appearance, stature, status) and are looking for a quick way to get out.

    Either way, it's a soft-harsh rejection. Sorry.

  • It means she has some issues regarding her past relationship that is concurrently brought towards the present. However, it also means she is willing to take small steps to be friends before she decides to take a large leap. You may like her a lot with sincerity but she may not see it that way, she may see it as a line of willing or not willing to date to jeopardize her emotion.

    Good Luck

    -Nicholas Halden

    • Thank you for considering the fact that she has emotions and a life and a past playing in here :)

  • I'm not like the others who think it's a definitive meaning of she isn't interested in you. I know some girls who are pretty f'd up and can acknowledge it and admit that they really aren't ready for any relationship with any guy.

    That being said, definitely move on emotionally. Don't wait around for her. If another girl comes in your life, then take that opportunity. But I wouldn't say write off this other girl forever. If you're still single and she does start opening up, then by all means take that opportunity too.

    • actually they don't even need to be f'd up in the head. They could just be consumed with multiple jobs or work + school or some other ties.

      But, if she isn't f'd up in the head or not deathly busy, then yeah it probably is a hint she isn't interested.

  • Girl Language: "I'm not ready for a relationship."

    English Translation: "I am ready for a relationship, just not with you." Basically you aren't attractive, likeable, etc. enough for her to date. So she puts you down softly to not hurt your feelings.

    Move on.

  • It's a polite way to say no.

  • Next.

  • I would move on bro. They aren't interested in you

  • I would move on cause chances are she isn't ready emotionally and probably has other things going through her life right and just considers me as I a friend first. Plus she knows I like her but doesn't have the same feelings toward ke as I do toward her. I think her saying "I am not ready for a relationship" means I don't want to be in one with you right now or maybe it just took her by surprise.

  • Come on, girls are always ready for a relationship. I mean they want that stick and The Rock would say... strudel too. She's ready for a relationship, just like any other girl. But she just doesn't want to be in one with you.