First off, it's really hard to take your own advice you give to others. So I'd like to know what other people think about this situation. I've been with this guy whose from a different background/raised differently than I. In the beginning things were fantastic and I grew to really love him. Towards the middle of our relationship it seemed as if he didn't try to make time for me at all. If I tried to speak to him about it, he just said he's trying but he clearly isn't when he puts me last. I've been in situations where people from his own race were racist towards me and speaking to him about it only lead to him defending them. He said I just misinterpreted what they were saying. Others have told me there is no other way to take it. What those people said to you.. there's one way to take it. There was another situation where he was trying to brighten up my day by giving me compliments and being lovey dovey until he tries to cheer me up by comparing me to his ex's. He told me, I was prettier/smarter etc. out of all the girls he's been with and he ends it with "but I don't really remember their body type so I can't say who has the better body." I was furious. I told him how I felt and that he shouldn't say things like that and he told me I'm upset for no reason. He said how can I be mad when he sat here all day being nice. These are just a few situations we crossed that started a fight between us and in the end he blames me for starting the fight. He blames me for being upset because he did nothing wrong. He never see's how he hurts me or how he doesn't try to understand at least why I feel the way I do. He always has to be right, have the last words, and have a dominant opinion over me. If I don't succumb to him it's me being "unbearable" to him. When I try to speak to him about how his actions make me feel it's considered "unbearable complaining". I really love him but I realize that the way he's treating me is driving me crazy. Now every time he talks to me I'm just annoyed and on edge because that tension of always being wrong, my opinion being invalid, being unable to communicate correctly, and us trying to work it out when I say my side of the story calmly is considered complaining. He's done so much and I forgave him for so much. He says he loves me and never loved anyone like he does for me, yet why does he do this? I know my mistakes and when I catch them I apologize and talk to him about it. He doesn't with me because he doesn't see wrong in himself. He now plays the victim and treats me like I hurt him when in reality he's crushing down on me.His cousin told me to dump him twice, but it's hard because under these circumstances everything else is great.
I don't like how my boyfriend treats me. Then, he blames me for being upset. What's really going on?
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