Girlfriend always wants me to apologize for stuff I didn't do.

[Frunkiss]

So I told my girlfriend I would be on campus at a certain time just in casual conversation to let her know what my week would be like. She ended up going to campus to do homework and to drive me home to be nice.

I ended up not going to campus and when she texted me that she was there and wanted to meet I said that I was back in my apartment but we could meet up immediately, my place or hers.

She said she wanted me to apologize for the miscommunication and I said no since I didn't consciously do anything wrong since I had no idea she planned on picking me up. This is just an unfortunate miscommunication and really no one should be saying sorry, it is a non-issue. So why am I bringing it up? She has repeatedly asked me to say sorry for stuff I didn't do (once I told her I was going out for drinks later and she should join, she later wanted me to apologize for not going out for drinks at 6 which she expected, who goes out for drinks at 6?)

Normally I would just say sorry to stop these stupid fights but I always fume about it and I don't feel like letting this one go. Am I being crazy? Is saying sorry for stuff you didn't do no big deal? What do you all think?

[muliebrity]

All I see is that the miscommunication comes from not communicating at all.

Regardless if she is your girlfriend or not, everyone wants the same courtesy of letting others know what is going on. Did you hint that it was going to be later than 6? ASSUMING common "knowledge" is a fallacy to begin with. So yes you must assume responsibility for you indecision to not be upfront about things. If you told a friend that has gone out of the way do something cool for you, and you just flaked without any notice. You did wrong regardless if you were "conscious" about it. The point isn't that she had to drive you..the point is that you didn't bother to communicate at all. The truth is, you did do them, whether or not you intended is irrelevant in this situation. What if you invited your friend to come out, as time went on you didn't text him the time and location because you expected him to get it? its not about being right or wrong, but simply respecting other peoples time.

[jam66]

I had a boyfriend like this, tell them to go get stuffed. trust me it only gets worse and you can never do anything right.

He used to be on his phone all the time when I was talking to him. I rarely ever text anyone. But one day when he was talking I had to text someone back and he shouted at me for not listening in front of his friend.

He told me off for leaving a bathroom light on and wanted me to apologise.

He told me off because I was in the shower and spontaneously turned up at my house. I didn't hear him knocking on the door because of the shower and he said he was left waiting out there for 10 minutes and told me to apologise.

Ok saying apology for a mistake once is fine, but not any more and they should not be demanding apologies like your girlfriend is doing. Its weird and controlling.

[rdrgzjcqln]

Ugh. I'm not in your shoes but I already got a headache reading this. Honestly I can see why she would become upset, especially after you told her that you were going to go to campus and you didn't end up going. Even after she drover there hoping to see you there. BUT, there is no reason for her to demand an apology from you, especially when you told her you still wanted to see her. Apologies should be sincere and not forced. I would go and have a few drinks at 6 if I were in your position lol. She's being sensitive and nagging to the point that it is going to drive you insane. I would stand up to her and tell her to stop being so crazy.

Next time just tell her ahead of time indicating that you won't be there and x,y and z to prevent the fighting. Girls lol

[steveguitar]

id fight for this lol. if you are telling the situation truthfully, and I don't suspect any lie, I would stand my ground. she sounds like maybe she was trying to do something nice, but sometimes things change...shit happens. if she told you earlier during your class that she was in the building and doing homework and she could wait for you and pick up up, then you could have told her that you had a schedule change. if she didn't tell you anything then as you said, its a non issue.

but as somebody else said, she seems to be over sensitive, like everything she planned out, or thought up in her head without considering your life as a different part that may change, then it is her fault

[Tarvold]

It's a big deal, and it doesn't lead anywhere good.

You need to sit her down ASAP and tell her calmly that you won't be apologizing, and if she continues to push for it that it'll eventually become a dealbreaker.

[Frunkiss]

Thanks, that is what I was leaning towards doing but I needed a reality check.

[Eiffelgirl21]

Well, um.

I can see both of your points.

She sounds like she is just sensitive? Is it really harmful to just see where se is coming from and apologize? I mean, if my boyfriend went to campus to pick me up, and I wasn't there, I would immediately just say "Oh I am sorry baby, I decided not to go!"

I wouldn't be apologizing for something that I did wrong. Because I didn't do anything wrong. However, I would be apologizing in a sympathetic way..as in I am sorry you went out of your way to uni to do your homework and intended on giving me a ride home.

It is kind of like when someone's dog dies...You automatically say sorry. Just out of sympathy/love.

And she just seems sensitive and needs that extra love.

It shouldn't be that big of a deal to lose her over. Is it? Just saying.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Don't be so passive and stand up to her. If you don't stand up to her running over you like that, she'll never respect you. No woman really respects or wants a pussy ass man who is scared to speak up when he knows he's in the right

[Curiousbeginner]

She wants to know exactly what you are doing at all times even when you change your mind about simple things. If you want a control freak for a girl friend then keep apologizing.

[Jager66]

the longer you date her the worse it will get until she is telling you what to do on a regular basis.

[Darkhocolate1001]

Sounds about right lol.

[Darkhocolate1001]

She sounds like one of these women who will stalk you, until she kills you or I guess that's about it I mean after she kills you not much left?