How do I hint I want a Promise Ring?

[Anonymous]

Okay hear me out for a quick second.

I know, I know, promise rings are stupid - why not just skip the trouble and get an engagement ring?

I had that mentality too. Until about 30 seconds ago when I realized that in August my boyfriend will be leaving for a school out of state.

I always thought promise rings - and jewelry in general, were rather pointless. I have always told my boyfriend never to buy me jewelry because I would never wear it. But now, I feel like I WOULD wear a promise ring if he gave me one.

He is transferring from our school because he decided to switch majors and our school does not offer what he truly wants to do. I am fully supportive of his wish to pursue a degree elsewhere. He is going to complete his associates in his current field since he is so close.

We did not meet in college. We actually met in 8th grade and more or less have been dating since December of 2008.

The plan currently is that we will finish our prospective degrees and I will move to be with him once I finish my Bachelors. As he's doing a complete 180 on his career track (physics to law) he'll have a great many more years ahead of him than I will.

I just feel I would like some assurance - as dumb as that sounds - that we're in this for the long haul. I know that a mere ring doesn't actually mean anything but it's what it symbolizes that is important to me. I would also feel more comfortable moving to be with him in 2 years if I had some form of promise other than his word.

He has assured me that we're in it for the long haul and that he intends to marry me in the future but the future is kind of a ways away. I admit I'm nervous about the separation (even though I'm sure it will be okay).

His word means the world to me, don't get me wrong, but it'd just be nice to have the ring.

I know this probably sounds stupid to you all, but I would really appreciate advice on how to hint/ask for a promise ring.

[spadeaspade]

As life continues, you will learn all the symbols on this planet have absolutely no value whatsoever. Actions speak louder than words or symbols, it's the way he treats you, respects you, considers you, and how consistent that kind of behavior is, that will really matter in the long run.

It's a pity you have to separate, but that's life. The best advice I can give as a man who has done life the hard way, without any education, is to put each of your educations above all else, because in the end, this will allow you to choose what you want to do, rather than be told what you will do for the rest of your lives.

An education will allow you to always be independent, because we never know what life will toss at us.

What if this fairy tale romance is ended by one of you being in an accident, you must have a way to survive and that will be made so much easier if you have qualifications.

If you'd like to spend your life cleaning up others mess, carting their garbage, running their errands, lifting heavy things and ruining your body, always outside looking in at others living full lives, then let your heart rule your head and gamble with your life. As for me, if I'd had your opportunity, I'd have grabbed it with both hands and never let it go until I'd achieved my goals.

Without an education, even your romantic life will be miserable, please do not risk the rest of your life by allowing this distracting relationship to override what you know you must do if you want the rest of your life to be worth living.

I'm sending you a big hug and heaps of love, which I hope will encourage you to read and fully understand my words; they are words born out of wisdom, gained from far too much pain.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I'm going to hold my opinion on your plan except to mention that there are plenty of people having an affair right now who wear wedding rings.

But to answer your question, you could start off by suggesting that you are going to get him something to remember you by and feel him out that way. Then you can suggest that you'd want a promise ring.

[Anonymous]

First off--if you want him to buy you a promise ring, ask him. Don't hint. Wait until you're spending time, until the attitude is cheerful and merry, work it into conversation and ask.

Second--a ring's just a ring, a piece of metal. It's not going to make any difference. If you can't trust his word, walk away, because there's no magic in a band of metal.

[Anonymous]

There's no point in hinting. Guys generally don't understand hints. You have to tell him. Explain to him what you're feeling.

If it's going to make you feel better, you should definitely have one. But, as Anon says, don't trick yourself. The bad news is if he wants to leave you, he'll leave you, promise ring or not. The good news is, if he wants to be with you, he'll be with you, promise ring or not.

[amardeep]

you are good girlfriend and it seems like your relationship is great you both have trust if I would be at your place I would say him honey I want a promise he might will ask what promise sweetheart I want a wear a ring of your name no matter expensive or not a symbol of our love and our commitment this is what coming in my mind right now

[kovalinkie19]

If it's not meant to be, then not even a promise ring can do much.

[CellLuddite]

Don't worry about it. Him dumping you when he leaves is pretty much guaranteed.