I don't mean to sound silly but I am a HOT 30yo woman. I do anything and everything in the bedroom for him, keep him totally sexually satisfied, and we have fun doing it. Our sex life has always been awesome. I am a great wife. We have fun together. We laugh and play and tease each other like kids. I totally busted him when I found some crap he looked up on the Internet (girls with big fake boobs, wet t shirt contests, big asses, muscular legs, sh*t like that). I was beyond hurt. My last marriage ended because of this and he knew what kind of emotional damage it has left me with. I feel like he chose those other women over me. He says that it's ridiculous to think that! Umm hello?! I told him before we got married that I could basically deal with anything BUT THAT! I'm TRYING with all my heart to move past it but I think about it constantly. He wants me to forgive him but I can't, not when he KNEW the extent of the damage my ex did to me. Now we can't even go to the pool together because I feel that he's eye f***ing every chick that may be up there. I don't want to feel that I'm married to a perv. We have 2 kids together. 10yo boy and 3yo girl. Please someone help me get this sorted out in my head. Thanks.
Most Helpful Guy
It hurts me to know how you feel.
I don't think I'm the best to tell you this because I'm not your age, nor have I ever been married.
I'm a guy, so I know how I feel when I look at these images.
I never really search for it, unless I'm already looking at it through maybe a pop-up or something.
I honestly though, don't think he's in the state of opposition as you are.
I know how much it hurts to see him do something that you don't approve of, but in his defense, its more momentary enjoyment, and trust me, they don't even compare to you in his mind. Why he did it is something of a phase that he was probably going through.
It shouldn't be expected that he wants out of what you two have built.
I know you've told him before how you feel about that, and not that he forgot, but now that he sees the seriousiness behind that, I doubt he'll ever do it again.
I know you feel like he's fullfilling a need else where, but its really not the case.
Maybe he's uses it to get ready for you... just maybe...
Older men would always tell me "Looking is okay".
Men will look...
My thing is "Look but don't touch"
I seriouly hope things turn around for you.
A Loving Black Man