Search Results: needs space

I've had mixed reactions to breakups. One in which I recognized was basically over anyways, I felt nothing. I felt angry and sad when infidelity occurred, but my last one, I feel relieved.

It was hardly a relationship, just 18 days of lots of talking and all. But her need for attention became insatiable, I spent hours a day talking and it was never enough. She blew my phone the hell up when I went to make soup and tend to my dogs for 10 minutes.

I go to the bathroom, I come back to several missed calls and accusations that I cheated. No matter how much time i spent talking to her, the next day, she always wanted even more time commitment and on video calls, she got mad when I tried to multi task.

Her constant needs for reassurance, short fuse and a relationship in which she'd already brought up marriage several times, her need for attention and validation being exhausting, and it felt like being suffocated.

I told her over and over I needed space, she'd send 10 messages within a minute of me saying it. All this to say I am happy she is out of my life, she was very toxic and controlling, and I won't be with someone who doesn't even respect me enough to stop pestering me every 2 seconds.

She got me out of my comfort zone with cooking, that's the best thing I got from it. I ended it with her, brushing off her angry closing remarks. I'll find someone else, it's okay.

I hope the next woman I form a connection with will be more mature and reasonable. How do you usually feel after breakups and why?

IMAGINE THIS SCENARIO: You and a boy have always been more than friends.. a quiet understanding, late-night talks, little gestures that blur the line. He finally says it outright and proposes something real. You care about him, but you’re not sure, so you ask for time.

That same week he goes out, drinks too much, and dials you. Your phone is already engaged with a call from another guy.. your best friend, nothing romantic, but it’s a long vent-session you don’t want to cut off. (Your guy) calls again. And again (10+ times). You see his name flash, your stomach knots, and you let it ring out because you’re not ready to face his voice right then.

He switches to text: IG, WhatsApp, short messages that get more urgent. You read them, guilt prickling, but you don’t answer. Confused and irritated, you block him everywhere like shutting a door to buy a minute of quiet.

Later the day you felt the guilt is louder than the fear. You unblock just enough to call. It rings, once, twice, and then voicemail. You wait for his call back... nothing comes.

The next day you hover over the unblock button. Part of you wants to explain: “I was on another call, I panicked.” Part of you freezes.. what if he leaves me on read? What if he says he’s done, that he’s moved on? That dread sits heavy, stealing sleep. You replay his silence, wonder if he’s already talking to someone else, feel the shame of your own avoidance.

"5 months have passed" (You were still waiting to fix) & beneath it all, another question: maybe you’re not just scared, maybe you really do need time and space to understand what you want before you try to fix what you broke.