Search Results: she is frightened of commitment

So I finally figured out that the guy I've been seeing for 8 months is a commitment-phobe.

Long story short, we met in January and started dating on February 1st. We were seeing each other every week, multiple times. Twice I tried to have the "relationship" talk with him, once at 3 months in and once at 6 months, but he was pretty clear both times that he didn't want an official label. I did but I was enjoying his company and decided to let it slide.

In mid-August we were invited by some friends of mine to go whitewater rafting, and had a fantastic day together. I even told my friend that for the first time I felt like we were a real "couple" because of the way he was acting with me.

Right after that, he went incommunicado on me. He would answer the phone when I called, but didn't initiate any contact. I gave him several chances to walk away, asking him if this was one of those things where "it's been good but not really into it anymore" and he declined to take advantage of the "out" each time, saying that yes, he really had just been super-busy lately.

I saw him a couple of weeks ago briefly, and just before he left, he hugged me tightly and kissed me, which was uncharacteristic for him because he's not very affectionate. He also texted me the other day and wished me a happy birthday.

Puzzled by why, after 7 months of weekly dates he suddenly kind of vanished on me, I did some research online and realized that he is a commitment-phobe. Since then I've been reassessing the situation and wondering if it's a dead-end. It's obvious that he cares about me deeply but at the same time, those feelings obviously frighten him on some level.

I've not yet decided what to do but I would greatly appreciate opinions on whether or not someone like him can ever change, or if this is just the way he is going to be for the rest of his life.

Thank you in advance. :)