Yes, I like to be submissive. No, that does not mean I want to be raped!

[kaylaS91]

If a woman enjoys being submissive, or views her man being dominant as a turn-on, that basically means she wants to be raped, right?

Wrong. Very wrong.

Submissivenesss- When an individual allows their lover to take control in bed. The feeling of willingly submitting to the control of someone you care for or are engaging in an intimate act with is found to be thrilling by those who choose to engage in such a role.

Rape- Intercourse that occurs without consent being given. In other words, when someone forces themselves upon you when you're resisting or not being a willing participant. You lack the power or ability to stop the situation.

There's a huge difference between someone forcing themselves onto you as you resist by either saying no or physically trying to push them away and submission.

Dominance/submission or BDSM is a pretty popular fetish; moreso after 50 Shades of Grey gained a following. Rape-play in BDSM is carried out by a submissive and a dominant, often a couple who engage in this type of role-play willingly. Establishes boundaries for themselves, sets safe-words to be used should either party be pushed out of their comfort zone and wish to end activities. Hands may be used on an individual's neck or to pin them down as a sign of their partner having power over their pleasure, not having their body and entire being at someone else's disposal.

If you are raped, you don't have the luxury of a 'safe word'. Something to safely get you out of harm's way, out of having to participate in granting sexual pleasure to the rapist at your expense. The psychological trauma of your body having been used by someone for this very purpose, then left as if you were completely worthless can psychologically scar an individual for life. There's no glory or glamour in being used as a piece of meat to unwillingly fulfill someone's selfish desires.

A true Dom/Domme doesn’t rape. That is called a rapist. A Dom/Domme is someone who exerts power/pain/punishment/discipline/etc. over a WILLING submissive partner.

This is for the physical/sexual pleasure of both partners.

[Anonymous]

I would like to say this is very true coming from a woman who was raped in real life and who also is a sub with a Dom. in her sexual life my rape was not fun I didn't enjoy it I wasn't able to say hey that's enough if I was uncomfortable in anyway he did what he did forcefully until he was done now my relationship with my husband/Dom would never hurt me on purpose and if I feel uncomfortable he will stop what ever we are doing but I get great pleasure out of being his sub so no a sub is not being raped I will say this very good take

[FatherKnowsBest]

Glad you overcame this horrible assault. I hope you both wake up every day with a smile on your faces. 😊

[Anonymous]

100% agree! I like being dominant to my women as well. I would never rape anyone, never even consider it. There is the same group of people, aka feminists, accusing men like me of being "rapists" and women like you of having "internal misogyny". It needs to stop!

by the way Love the pic you chose, brings back some wonderful memories!

[NikkiFed29]

I totally agree. For a long time I felt really guilty about liking to be submissive and having rape fantasies because I thought that meant there was something wrong with me. But my rape fantasies were just that - fantasies - and I knew that real rape would be nothing like that and I didn't wish for it in the slightest. I'm coming to terms more with my sexuality and I know that there is nothing wrong with enjoying dominance/submissiveness in sex. Its important for other people to know that too. ITS TOTALLY NORMAL!

[FatherKnowsBest]

What I often find lacking in these discussions is the fact that the whole purpose of sex, regardless of individual fetishes and desires, is to HAVE FUN!

[martyfellow]

There are some VERY fine lines here between domination and assault or rape. It takes more than a safe word to make some of these activities actually 'safe.;

[kaylaS91]

yeah of course, if your activities are going further than just pinning arms down or light pressure on the airways.

[martyfellow]

When they threaten to spank you!!!

[FatherKnowsBest]

I sure hope what you wrote in your first sentence is untrue. I can't imagine anyone equating sexual behavior; submissive or dominant, to assault. The first is a form of exercising consensual sexual fetishes, while the second (assault) is a crime.

Over the last few years several cases have gone to court involving college students and entertainers. These criminal cases have clarified exactly what is considered consensual sex and what is sexual assault.

[YourFutureEx]

What! There are guys like that?

[ThisDudeHere]

I wouldn't be surprised that if there were guys in the 19th or 20th centuries who thought like that but today? There really are men like that?

[kaylaS91]

yeah, there are people like that on this site at least. You'd think everyone knows the two are different, but I'm not convinced that's the case. There are a lot of questions recently regarding 'rape fantasies' with comments or descriptions indicating otherwise. Or this question that I saw yesterday morning and kind of prompted me to write this take:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1609272-why-do-some-girls-like-casual-male-dominated-sex-but-are-so-afraid-of

[ThisDudeHere]

Oh look at that, I had commented on that question :D. But yeah, the guy was nuts.

[Mesonfielde]

I never understood why people don't have second thoughts about their partner if their "deepest wish" once they have complete control is to hurt you while you're chained up and gagged.

[military]

It's not about pain and hurting them. Its about pleasuring them and them giving themselves to you and them completely trusting you.

[Mesonfielde]

@military whips and chains don't sound like the intention of "pleasuring" them.

[military]

Don't judge it unless you've tried it. And it's not all whips and chains.

[crystalt70]

Being dominant/submissive doesn't mean there's pain. That when sadism/masochism is involved too. Not all couples participate in each. You can be dom/sub, use props like ropes, gags, etc and there only be pleasure with a little roughness. There's no real pain involved. There may be spanking and such, but boundaries are there.

[tenchu11]

God I love being dominant and most of my partners being submissive (I always figured most woman were). Just pinning them againts walls softly butting their lower lip and pinning their hands againts the wall. I've had girls that I was very attracted to who were completely wasted trying to roll up on top of me and passed out happened twice and both times I just laid there pushed them off me and told myself yeah... this would be rape. Even if she wanted it and she was drunk I'd be 50/50 how the law would see it vs just plain passing out while grinding on me

[kaylaS91]

Smart thinking on the backing off part! Not that you had bad intentions but you're right.. after she sobered up and maybe wanted to save face, she would have been able to screw your ass over in court calling 'rape'. :/

[tenchu11]

Always a sad awkward morning when they ask softly "so did we?" And I just tell them "no nothing happened" (which really didn't) I never told them "no, but you kept trying to" they were so wasted their eyes half closed it could I been any guy so in a way even though I didn't get sex I made them feel safe for not taking advantage. I noticed those were the worst type of female friends/relationships to have. I told them to stop calling me est... I hated baby sitting a drunk and peeling a semi conceouse horny drunk off me. I swore I could of passed her off to a stranger and she wouldn't of known (not bragging more like how sad the situation was). I just decided I'd rather not worry or enebaled their horrible life choices.

[tenchu11]

Granted when they were sober I took out my frustrations on them... in a dominant yet caring way

[Kirah]

Honestly, you're not that special for being a submissive woman. The majority of women are submissive.

I constantly get called a "butch bitch" for being dominant. Just imagine that for a second.

Agreed though. Nice take.

[kaylaS91]

I never said I'm submissive. Sure, I usually am but occasionally I like to switch things up and take the reins. I'm not saying a woman being dominant or submissive is any better than the other. I'm sorry you seem to get bad flack for being dominant, but the point of this take was just to show that a woman being dominated does not equal her being turned on by or wanting to be raped.

[Prof_Don]

Well said... too many muscle headed guys are too dumb to identify the difference.

[muspelhem_5]

Oh okay, so no rape, right?

[kaylaS91]

right. Being submissive with consent does not equal rape.

[Kountry_King]

This is dumb who doesn't know the difference between the two. Like this really has me heated Lol I'm just saying how the whole time

[ArchDruidMordred]

Yes! Thank you! I've been waiting for someone to explain this.

[Tarvold]

Submission is a gift of trust, whereas there is no trust at all in rape. Anyone who doesn't understand the difference should just stick to vanilla sex.

[COCOCHANEL]

i agree, the two are totally different

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I have met some women actually would like it and thats why I stay the hell away from them... C_R_A_Z_Y..

[ruskodisco]

awesome! i'm so glad females are fighting the "being submissive is wrong and you are promoting sexism and rape!" thing.
Keep fighting, i love you bad momo

[gobsmacked3]

Correct, i have always had Subs and rape has no place in it

[sp33d]

Very much yes, ignorant mofos think a woman won't mind rape if she likes being dominated. Glad to see there are people who understand.

[TheSpartan]

Ugh, I hate all of this stuff.

[babu_001]

Nice gif there.