Sexual Relationships
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I say that woman have a higher sex drive

I say that woman have a higher sex drive

My experience in life have shown me that women who feel truly loved, cherished, respected and safe are more orgasmic!

My contention and what I have heard from my male friends is that women have a lower sex drive then they do. I have heard many times my friends complain that they don't get enough at home. Not saying they went elsewhere, I'm just saying they often complained.

I believe that such a man is unaware of why a woman, ( who I personally believe has a higher sex drive than a man) would appear to have a lesser sex drive. I will leave aside cases of past abuse. From women who have not had the pain of abuse, why is it that men complain, sometimes mildly, that she is less sexual then he would desire?

If you know how to make love to a woman's heart, from the start of the day, love her for who she is and not for what she'll do for you tonight, you will see the true sex drive of a woman.

Some men have understood that. But why isn't that news spreading like wildfire? Are we too selfish? Do we not want to make the effort? Is romance dead? Our ability to seduce is just our ability to unbuckle our belt?

Most of my partners have been multi orgasmic. According to them the important thing is not technic, skills, or stamina, but it is being helpful, generous, caring, understanding and a good listener; in and out of the bedroom.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think there are many reasons as to why people believe women have lower sex drives.

    1) Yes you know who... media. Society is a better word. These stereotypes are beat into our heads so much we believe. I mean you could keep saying I'm not alive over and over and over and over again and eventually you might start wondering if you are. Such is media. We are bombarded with how women should be for so long. Decades. Eventually we start to believe it. Eventually the notion that every man has extremely high sex drives and want to fuck all the time and women don't want that as much.

    2) Sexual peak. Men typically have a libido peak at around their early 20s. That's why so many once they hit 40 are on the downhill. Erectile dysfunction. Lower libido. Viagra. It's because their "high" if you will is gone. Women? They don't really hit their sexual peak until around late 20s to right at 30. It's later. So in their teens and early 20s (minus some of course) they don't have extremely high libidos. I think the media focuses on these women because they are younger and "more beautiful". So that contributes to the standards.

    3) Sexual turn ons. Us guys seem to be more attracted to the physical act of intercourse. Most girls like intercourse too. Most girls love it. Though they also love the foreplay and emotional feelings that come with sex I think more than men. So that may make it seem like their libido is lower, because certain things other than intercourse can get them really going.

    4) A lot of girls try to suppress their sexual nature because they feel society would make them out to be "dirty" "nasty" "sluts". If society would let women embrace their sexuality and their libido then perhaps they wouldn't try to suppress it so much.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I somewhat agree with your point on women having a higher sex drive if the guy she's sleeping with does his part in having sex with her as more than just a piece of meat. Which means all the good stuff like cuddling, not being selfish during foreplay, etc.. 'Making love to a woman's heart'.
    I'm exactly like that. More often than not, I'll get multiples, always down for more from my boyfriend. I think we had been together for just about a month when he said I was 'insatiable' in bed so he definitely caught on early! :P

    Of course that probably wouldn't apply to all women though.. it would be hard to say how many are like that with society still not having fully embraced that yes, women not only HAVE a libido of their own but in some cases one that's equally as high as a man's. Abuse/bad experiences in the past could stop some women from allowing them to act on how they feel in a small amount of cases as well.

    • I learned very quickly also, that being on the giving end and see her go through orgasms after orgasm, I was happy for her , I knew she would have praise for me, but in the end , we do very little during the act , its everything before and her knowing what will be after and she will give herself to you , more than you can imagine , so when a man complains he doesn't have enough , I say that's a testimony of your inabilities and not hers. She would brag to her friends ( maybe not even true) and then tell me she bragged. I Love that she did that , even if it wasn't true , I would try to be even better, giving becomes a drug :-)

    • yes! Sounds exactly like what I have with my boyfriend. If we're pressed on time for a while and sex is basically just the physical, I get noticeably less into it. Less turned on, less eager, less willing to go out of my way for his benefit. If it's a couple of the good times where he makes a point of spoiling me and all, I'm like putty in his hands. Do things he asks me to that I'd never imagine doing, Offer blowjobs a couple of times every time I come over with no reciprocation expected. I don't talk to my friends about things like sex normally, but I'll put in a good word for him regardless. That he's great in bed, the sweetest, etc.. :)

    • "women having a higher sex drive if the guy she's sleeping with does his part in having sex with her as more than just a piece of meat" Lots of girls like bondage.

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  • Oh my god, I with Takes had Likes because this would surely be one of them!!

    How true you are when you say "SAFE". Never in my life did I ever feel sexually uninhibited with men who did not make me feel safe and loved. I remember I often felt a lot more reserved and self-conscious around men who spoke really badly of their exes, for example. I remember thinking, "Well shit, if he's being this cruel talking about HER to ME, then what happens if WE break up? He's going to just tell the next girl private things I don't want strangers to know."

    So yes, when a man shelved all that bullshit and treated me as if it was okay to do whatever I wanted because he loved me so much, the more I actually did. This is especially so with my husband, hence why I even married him - he made me feel like no matter what he would love me. Even if I wasn't perfect he still told me I was. This made me want to do anything sexual with him, to at least try different things because I felt I could without feeling as though he would use anything against me.

    Out of all the men I've slept with over the last 25 years, it's my husband who is getting the best sex out of me now. (Sure, okay I'm in my sexual prime too, but aside from that, the experimental, naughty side is what he gets more so than any other man I've been with.)

    The key here I think is that women pay attention to how you talk and treat people. If she's got reason to think that you can't be trusted because you talk so negatively about women or your exes, or that you are a serial dater and she'll just be dumped in a month anyway, the less of a good thing you'll get from her. Love sounds so deep and sometimes scares men away, but there is such a thing early in the relationship to have TRUST which is a huge element of where love comes from. Once you have that, you'll probably find you'll have great sex happening too.

    Love this Take! Very good insight. :)

    • coming from you , its a great compliment. I don't know how I got to be how I am , but as a young boy , I was very active and performed academically , in sports and others liked me. I know that I was trying maybe to much to be loved and accepted by everyone. Yet I came from a tight , caring , stable , balanced family. As a young boy , when I look back today, I was following in my father's foot steps ( totally unaware of it ) A man of great principle , values and dedication. My father is 81 and still in love with his girlfriend , my mother. The affection they show today , was never never seen in my house, but that came for many generations of close , loving families , but who never showed affection. So was my behavior as a boy due this lack of affection in the midst of lots of love? Probably.

    • My father, he never showed that my mother was the weeer sex,( I believe that the female gender is stronger in most everything except physically. My mother had a nervous breakdown and went into depression and we were all placed with relatives or families of friends for 3-4 months, that was in the 60's. My mother came out of her depression within a year or two and became a very strong woman , I mean not just strong for where she came from , but a pillar in the community and a leader socially, Engaged and always helping. Still at that time , visible affection or verbal affection was rarely seen or heard. The two of them were always side by side. For two people of their generation to be so modern towards each other was a training no one was award was happening. I was always observing girls and later women and when I became sexually active , my behavior and how I expressed myself sexually, just flowed naturally into what I have shared in my take.

    • Well that's very true when you can look at your parents and know they have been a good example of what marriages/relationships should be like. Even through tough times to have the support and safety net of knowing your partner loves and trusts you means a lot. People today forget that. People are all too quick to throw a relationships away because they couldn't handle a bit of shaky ground. NO relationship comes without it's share of hard times. We have to realize that at some point. And when couples can still be each other's security in all ways then the more closer they become and can trust each other with everything, and that includes sex.

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  • You start with a general statement "woman have a higher sex drive". Then you immediately qualify it and narrow it to a specific group under specific conditions. That nullifies your original statement.

    That's like saying it always rains in London, then going to London during the rainiest season to justify it.

    I agree with much of what you said. But you can't use it to conclude that women have a higher sex drive.

  • You have made some excellent points, I too believe that if you can really take care of the woman you are with the more likely she will want to be with you not only in a relationship but intimately as well. This is why it is so important to hone your cuddling skills. I would venture to guess that those men who really know how to cuddle well have more sex than non cuddlers ;-)

    • YOU should ask the women that question, I agree with you

  • I have a high sex drive, but it plummets when I am getting less than what I want. I put in a lot of effort to making sure the guy is pleased. If I don't feel the effort is reciprocated, especially because the guy is only worried about himself, I am turned off. The grass is greener where you water it. This term can be used in thw relationship itself, but also with sex. Your girl pushes you away or stops being what she once was? It may be because she's not getting what she wants in AND out of bed. Not necessarily because she has no desire to have sex. Sex is great in the beginning, because both parties actually care about pleasing each other. Once things get comfortable, one or both feels like they don't have to try so much anymore. That's when things become less exciting and the sex life falls.

    • you are 100% right and your reaction is normal, he doesn't deserve you at your best if he becomes selfish. What is sad , both of you miss out , Too many women continue to give the best of themselves and eventually it break them , I have heard to many time, how at the end it was him get satisfied and not hers. The felt used and cheated.

    • Agreed.

    • This is so true! @crystalt70

  • Very true take! And the men disagreeing with you are just too lazy and selfish to care about anyone else but themselves during sex, thus making them bad lovers and there's no wonder they can't get any! I have a really great relationship and a caring boyfriend and my sex drive is annoyingly high!

    • I'm happy for the both of you , I'm not sure I'd say the guys that disagree are not getting any We would need to know from that partner , what she thinks about the quality We might a whole new story

    • well they all seem pretty whiny to me lol

    • oh yeah , but we also whine for so many other things its like a hobby :-) I'm making myself seem worse than I am, but I agree

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  • It sounds like you have never been married. The beginning of a relationship is always the most fun. Everything is new and exciting. In a long term relationship you can not possibly keep those fires lit all the time. It is hard enough just trying to make it day by day, without having such unreasonable expectations placed on you. It doesn't matter how romantic the guy is, most women are going to experience a decrease in their libido the longer they are with the same guy.

  • Excellent take and I agree with every word of it. I wish more men would understand this. Thankfully, my man does and it has definitely made a difference. My sex drive has never been higher.

  • Wish there are more men like you!!! :)

    • I won't explain , your words are more than touching

  • If you know how to make love to a woman's heart, from the start of the day, love her for who she is and not for what she'll do for you tonight, you will see the true sex drive of a woman.

    THIS IS THE LINE OF TRUTH!!

    • are are so right , and I'm glad I learned it early in life. Its not just that your woman will unleash her wild drive on your and blow your mind , that will happen, In every aspect of your relationship , you will see a happier women, with more energy , more patience, more creative , funnier , more playful , Keep doing it ( to the men) and you will have a new and improved woman every day, A woman who you've made love to her heart , will not let you out give her, she will want to outgive you and not just sexually , in everything, Just keep making love to her heart and you tell me how you'll be able to not treat her like the Queen she is able to be towards you. Don't let that love , generosity and energy just lay dormant inside her ,

    • Its amazing take and I can relate to it a lot. Men these days are losing value of love for lust and only working towards getting laid without no emotional attachment. It wilts a woman's heart, makes her sad, degraded and leaves her feeling low, most of the time!!! Women are controlled by emotions and emotions drive many to everything inside us. I got to understand it these days. Making love to heart <3 yes it'll solve many things for both men and women.

    • A lot of hearts are locked in a confined cell... due to past bad experiences and /or cultural repression. Anglo " culture " is sexually repressive to everyone... but it's worse for you ladies... BS such as " slut shaming " is one big example.

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  • Great take!

  • Well... sometimes I do lol XD I mean because of my relationship, and how great it is, my sexdrive increased a lot, to the point I sometimes want it more than him.

  • You make GREAT points.
    I don't necessarily believe it's higher, but not as low as men complain about it being.

    Guys honestly don't care, but they fail to realize you have better sex if she has better sex. Its not about your skills, but how you you make me feel as you're pleasing me.

    Love your post :)

    • I agree that saying its higher with certainty would require studies and research , but my experience is that my partners were off the chart , I would ask as a joke ( I knew the answer) are you horny , YES 24 hours a day... really I would say. It doesn't come up as a question at work, but when you ask me, YES I am... it was always funny. What you don't carry a sign on your forehead at work flashing that you are horny , NO, the batteries are dead , bulbs are burnt...

    • Ha! I'd definitely say I'm horny all the time, for the right guy.

  • great take!!! !!!

  • They do if they weren't suppressed and guilty due to religious indoctrination or how sex is seen as dirty and animalistic.

    • I've been with 1 woman who felt like that and we worked together on trying to liberate her and it took time and eventually she started to relax, and we talked and she started believing that in was normal and natural and started to really enjoy sex and did achieve multi orgasms, She had ways to go , she was happier , armed with a different attitude , her confidence came back and she told me thank you , we weren't a good match for a long term relationship and she did find a new man and she emailed me and she is very happy , she thank me. Chains of indoctrination or the Victorian ages upbringing can be broken, through therapy or an understanding and caring lover.

    • True, she blossomed cos she trusted u. :P and you didn't make her feel like shit like some guys who are too lazy to guide the inexperienced ones.

    • @joejoebrah90 You are a confused person who can't read what the take owner has written here. Incest relationships and inbreeding is not NOT normal.

  • Good take. I definitely have a higher sex drive than my partner.

  • I don't think so (other than older women). Younger girls have very low sex drive, or even if they have, it's of no use because they just inhibit themselves due to fear and shyness

    • @Johnyk - I agree and disagree with your point, we can only make assertions from what we have experienced first hand, so as men our experiences don't mean that we represent the majority , myself included. My experience with much younger woman, is the opposite of yours and all 3 were under 30 , The only time I have seen a woman with a lower sex drive was one that was either married or in a long term relationship where exhibiting a normal or higher than expect sex drive would brand her a "slut" by their partner. Maybe I'm not representative of what men see, but that's why we are here and debating this question

    • I also know that my experiences are not representative , I'm trying to share or sell an idea that might be a pipe dream, that there is a key to unlocking and its not just the sex drive. I must be one hell of a lucky guy with the partners have had in myself , ( i must admit) at least from the making love intimacy we shared. I was an average performer in an experience of extremes, How I treated them , in action words and kindness was more a factor than my sexual performance , I'm saying that because I know I'm far from a stud

    • Hmm.. probably true in your case. What age were your partners? It's unlikely (or a minority) that girls in their 20's or teens have that much sex drive, so they often don't match up to the guys of their same age. But girls in their 30's and 40's are really sexual (and can even hear them complaining that their partner doesn't satisfy them).

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  • @MarkyyG123 >:D told ya >:D

    • Hahaha oh I agree >:D Just gotta shower the love and get the benefits? hahahahahaa ;) <3 O:)

  • A woman CAN have a higher sex drive but for a long time , the education she received will stop her from letting go.

  • I agree, but you're really making it out to be much more complicated than it really is. Ultimately, it just boils down to two things:

    1.) Women's capacity for sexual pleasure makes the male orgasm seem like a sneeze by comparison and so naturally, women love great sex more than men.
    2.) The vast majority of men are terrible in bed.

  • Fully disagree. It's been proven, scientifically that men have a higher libido generally than women. but that said, you obviously do get your super horny women. Why doesn't it spread like wildfire? That's pretty fucking simple: a minority guys play with women while the majority have to "get lucky" with women. Getting lucky implies that generally, a girl doesn't want to have sex with you, hence that majority think that women are not horny.

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