1. You are way too insecure
You should be excited about wanting to go to the next phase of your relationship with your partner. Instead of looking forward to it, you constantly dwell on the fact that they will see you naked.
This "time of excitement" further brings out the insecurity issues you've had all along.
- Am I too fat?
- Will my stretchmarks be seen?
- Are my boobs just right?
- Will she like my penis size?
These are just a few of the many questions you ask yourself about your image.
Working on these insecurities before reaching the physical aspect of your relationship will do wonders for your sex life. If you keep focusing on the things you cannot change, you will not enjoy the encounter. Depending on the extent of your feelings, you may even try to further prolong moving to this phase of your relationship. This leads the person you are pursuing "on hold". They will wonder why things are standing still and not moving forward.
Insecurity issues further hinders the development of a relationship.
2. You do the same old routine
A. The same ol' way, just a different day
At first the sex was amazing but now it's boring. The problem isn't that your partner's performance has changed (for the worse). It's the fact that it hasn't changed at all!
It was fun the first couple of months! After many years....not so much!
If you do something the same way over and over, you're only bound to get bored of it.
Have you ever heard the same song time and time again?
It was probably your most favorite. But after hearing it countless times, you want to change the radio station anytime it comes on. When it comes to sex you want to make a change. Sure, you'll go back to hearing your favorite song every now and then, but now it's time for something a little different.
- Why do you not try surprising your partner with sex, instead of planning it?
Being spontaneous always increases the fun! You can add to the enjoyment by greeting your guy dressed in hot lingerie.
- Give surprise oral sex
- Add more foreplay to your routine (This builds on the intensity factor)
- Have sex in an outdoor setting if you're adventurous.
Just do something different!
There's so many other things you can do to add to the spice in your relationship.
Talk about these things with your partner. See where their boundaries lie and if they agree.
B. You're not willing to explore
Sex is supposed to be about fun and going the extra mile for your partner. Chances are, you won't be into everything your person of choice is into. But the fact that you are going to extreme lengths to satisfy that person will make them grateful. This person should be doing the same for you.
Healthy compromise is always a good thing.
You don't have to do this sexual act all of the time, but occasionally doing so in efforts to make your significant other happy is very applaudable.
3. You do not like the length of your sex session
A. Sex is way too short.
Reason (1) - Just way too excited!
He just started.
-2 minutes later-
Oh dear, now he's finished! :-(
You want your girl to enjoy the sex but the problem is you cannot last more than a few minutes.
- Have you tried jerking off before the actual intercourse?
Getting the first nut out of the way, makes you last longer.
- Do not start off with a position that gets your overly excited!
This makes you want to cum much faster! Some people say, "save the best for last" for a reason.
Reason (2) - Overwhelmed with stress.
You're not focused on your partner. You're mind is left wondering about all of the hassles and stressful things in your life. This effects your performance negatively. You find yourself unable to get erected or having difficulty maintaining one.
B. Sex is way too long
If you're on the other end of this spectrum, (sex is too short) you're probably wondering why on Earth would someone hate long sex?
Some people are just unable to handle long hours of penetration.Their body starts to physically get tired.
Their parts start to ache and hurt. This causes discomfort and very minimial pleasure.
When you really know your partner, you'll know what length of sex works for them. Some people are able to handle long love sessions. While others aren't.
To really know what your partner wants, you should have a open road of communication.
Each time you have sex with someone , you learn more about what they want.
If they haven't complained to you about anything, then continue doing as you please!
4. You haven't found the right person
You love sex in general but not with this person. This person doesn't listen to your needs at all. You find yourself not enjoying the sex at all.
Some people are just not compatible sex wise.
Before you give up hope,
I suggest speaking to your partner about this. If they are open, they will take into account what you have said and try to improve their performance.
Great sex won't happen overnight...but they'll definitely make efforts to move forward in that direction.
5. You're not physically attracted to your partner
I find that when I am emotionally connected to someone , my physical attraction for them grows. However, not every one is like this. If they do not find you attractive at all from the beginning, chances are that will not change (unless your appearance improves significantly). This can hinder the sex life.
The person who is not attracted probably makes little or no advances towards intercourse because they aren't interested in it with their significant other.
There is no doubt this is a definite blow to ones self esteem.
No one likes to be seen as unattractive.
6. You're feeling guilty
You don't feel that you should enjoy something that goes against your morals.
- Is it sex before marriage?
- Did you have sex with someone who is promiscuous (and your personal feelings are usually against someone who is like this?)
- Did you have sex with someone elses significant other?
Whatever it is, you don't allow yourself to enjoy the full extent of the sexual encounter because you submit to your emotions.
Do not let your past decisions define you. They are only just a choice you made once in time. If you're feeling that guilty about them, then do not continue to engage in something that is emotionally destroying you.
I personally love a good sex session.
Who doesn't?
When you find yourself confident, honest, a good communicator and fully secure you'll enjoy your sex life a whole lot more!
Most Helpful Girl