I Will Not Sleep With You YetHave you ever wondered why that girl was playing hard to get? Moral conflicts? Always a safe guess. A little go-naked shame? Happens to the best of us. Innocence, perhaps? Unusual, but possible. What if some of us just don't sleep on first dates by choice?
I will never, ever sleep with a guy on a first date because of ME. I don't have strong feelings on the moral field, I believe the "playing hard to get" attitude gets you nowhere and I do LOVE sex. I just find it so inconvenient. Great sex can be confusing and lead to a passionate sexual fling with someone that simply doesn't match my expectations. Poor performance can send me away from a great guy that could do a lot better in bed. Finally, if the ultimate outcome will be great sex with The One, I see no reason to jump straight there. Below, my picture of four common possible scenarios, drawn based on experience (mine and my girl friends).
Amazing sex with a guy I end up not liking
Some guys' performance is inherently better than average. Everybody knows some of us are better lovers. Let's suppose I hit the target and end up in bed with one of these. I'll find myself wanting a rerun. Can you blame me? But maybe after a couple of more dates, the two of us find out we're not compatible at all. Conclusion: I'd had a night to remember, and a hard time letting this one go regardless of the fact that I don't like him. Breaking up here will be a tough call for me.
A lousy sack with a great guy that probably could do better and I might get to like a lot
Read carefully, this is oh-so-convenient! for you. First times are usually a bit awkward, even after a couple of dates, when you know the person a little more. Let alone getting naked in front of a recent acquaintance, forgive me if I'm wrong but I'm getting the vibe that both partners could be a tad uptight. Conclusion: one lousy first, doesn't compromise the entire life of a sexual relationship. The thing is, after that first impression I might find it hard to give the guy a second chance. Yes, sex matters to girls, too. Sad thing here is, in my experience, I could be losing one of the few good ones.
Average performance in someone reasonably compatible with me
I dare say this may be the most common. We keep going out and getting to know each other better. The relationship is comfortable, I adapt. Sex can get better or worse, depending on the case. We might get older and bored together. Winning some company, I may be losing the chance to live the real love thing, but we can hold on to this a long while. Until one of us finds someone else. As you see, this scenario might lead to a forever kind of thing, or just a good, satisfying, couple of years romance. But what if I get stuck here, and miss the REAL love thing?
Amazing sex with The One
Weird and scarce. What if it happened to me? I'd consider myself the luckiest girl on Earth. God, will I hold on to that one!
Next time you're judging a girl for not having sex on your first date, think a little longer about the kind of relationship it'll turn out to be. For in most of these situations I believe I'll be better off anyway (and you, too).