Sexual Relationships
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When a guy befriends a girl, he is saying he would be happy to sleep with her

When a guy befriends a girl (and she is above a 6 in his opinion), then he is saying he is happy to sleep with her.

Guys often subconciously choose friends based on attraction. If he is single, and if he deems you above a 5.5/10, then he is friends with you for more than being just friends.

I.e. He has chosen you to be in his inner circle as he deems you an attractive potential female that he would happily have sex with.

Think about it...

Do you have friends that you would not sleep with if given the chance?

When a guy befriends a girl, he is saying he would be happy to sleep with her

I have never been active "friends" with a female I didn't want to have sex with... as in the ones you make a real effort to text.

He deems you worthy to sleep with him.

Threesome fantasies involving female friends of either the guy or girl are common.

Fantasies about or getting turned on by a female friend or multiple friends is the norm.

A female friend who eats a hot dog is likely to have her friend imagining her licking his hot dog!

If a friend is suggestive and he isn't attracted to her, then he would only be turned on by the act, not the girl. But who are his friends is not who others deem to be, but who he DEEMS TO BE.

So of the friendship group or 1000 friends on FB, maybe 30-40 are really friends. And those are a special harem he believes are sexually desirable.

Guys have often jerked off to this select group of actual female friends.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally, you are correct, but you are incorrect for making the statement "he is saying he would be happy to sleep with her", this implies that every single male individual on the planet agrees to the concept. How do you know? Have you interviewed each and every male individual? If so, then you have proven me wrong. If not, then you are incorrect to bunch all males into the context of "he is saying he would be happy to sleep with her" whenever a man wants to befriend a woman. A personal experience of mine, I befriended a woman at college, not because sex was the first thing on my mind or because I thought she would be a good lay, I befriended her because she knew much about the Vegan community and I was, at the time, invested into learning more of the Vegan lifestyle. Therefore I befriended said girl with no intentions of trying anything sexual with her, from beginning to end. And yes, I was single, and yes she was above a 5.5 rating (quite sad to put a number on people but I will just for the sake of this). To further prove my point, she is the one who wanted to sleep with me, and I turned her down, which proves my intentions and subconscious were not anywhere near the "he is saying he would be happy to sleep with her" argument. It would be accurate to state I am the exception in this case, please understand I am not bashing your take, and my tone is neutral.

    • Oh yes agreed. Not everyone of course, and there are times when you genuinely just befriend someone. Girls tend to be better friends than guys as well. More caring. It's just SOMETIMES when they are attractive, then I guess the guy is pretty much open to letting them sleep with him if she initiated. Does it mean anything to fantasize about a female friend - from both the perspective of the guy and the girl? In your case, would you have been opening to sleeping with her.. what did you say?

    • I think the only meaning behind fantasizing about a friend is typically being horny, plus it being in our nature. If you are referring to any one of my female friends that I would be open to sleeping with, I can think of a few I would be okay with, I am human. But if you were referring to the Vegan girl, I told her I was not interested, straight and simple.

    • Yeah I guess. Interesting that the mind turns to female friends (attractive and nice people) when horny right?

      If you imagined them in a threesome with you what would that mean?

      Also check this out? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22945-harry-potter-should-have-ended-up-with-cho-chang

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not sure how much I like this idea. I guess sometimes it is true but sometimes it isn't. I'm not sure you can generalise the idea that men are only friends with women they want to shag to quite that extent. I also don't think you can say that men can't be just friends with women because they're programmed to try it on with girls and be attracted to them. That implies that men have no self control when really they do.

    Some men are friends with a woman because they are attracted to them.
    Some men are friends with a woman because they think that woman is funny.
    Some men are friends with a woman because they both have something in common.
    Some men are friends with a woman because they want to have them as a back up booty call.
    Some men are friends with a woman because she's intelligent af and what she says blows their mind.
    Some men are friend with a woman because they work together.
    Men are PEOPLE who are a lot more complex than just wanting to have sex all the time. Really it totally depends on the people involved and the circumstances.

    • no not really if he has no interest in bedding her , he is either gay or taken so he can't be with her , if he is a single normal young man he will want that piece of ass no matter what , even if he denies it or acts cool about it he still wants it , i think a lot of girls i know are funny , smart, witty and great people that i dont wanna hurt and they are really nice , but at the end i really really want to sleep with them...

    • @HowRUbBuddy I'm sure there are men out there who may disagree with you. I think the idea that there is literally not a single man in the whole world who isn't "either gay or taken so he can't be with her" who is friends with a woman without wanting to **** her is a bit extreme. I bet you there is at least one. In fact I could probably bet that there are a fair few platonic relationships out there. I'm not saying that there aren't friendships where the man does want sex. I'm just saying there are also relationships where they don't...

    • of course there are dont get me wrong i am not saying there aren't but very few

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Especially when I was overweight/younger, I had a lot of guy friends and I pretty much would've dated/slept with any of them- not like I went after them aggressively (way too shy) but I would sorta try to open the door to the opportunity. They "didn't think of me like that" didn't want to "ruin the friendship" etc... So...

    If you're ugly, don't worry, it doesn't apply to you :)

  • Finally , a guy confirms a topic I covered a month ago www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22031-can-heterosexual-men-women-just-be-friends . I agree with your perspective.
    But I must say on the flip side of the script it's usually easier for a woman to stay friends with a male she finds attractive.

    Good take !

    • Thanks and nice take. I saw that. Do women do this as well? Is it normal to fantasise about friends?

    • It's normal. Just a lot of people don't want to admit it. I think women feel that way as well but may be better at controlling their urges

    • Good point!

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  • Nice to see a guy admitting to this. All but two of the many guy friends that I have had in my adult life have eventually tried to get into my pants. So my starting assumption these days, is that if any guy is trying to befriend me, there's a 90% chance that he has actually has a sexual motive motive behind it.
    Women are best advised not reciprocate if a guy friend does confess his attraction to them after being friends for a long time. My personal experience is that when a guy does this, it's because he sees you as some sort of "hard to get" challenge, and once he sleeps with you the challenge, and thus his *interest* is gone.
    I only consider men who are upfront about their sexual/romantic interest from the outset these days and I have zero time for guys who try the pretending to be my "friend" facade.

    • Sorry to hear that. Only thing is if a guy is nervous and summing up the courage to ask you out. But you will know those guys - the actual nice ones. Poor as well are the women who lead on guys or keep them as backups. No one, whether guy or girl, should manipulate someone or hurt their feelings. Should be mutual attraction or a mutual fling that they both want. And no cheating! i don't think all your female friends are like this, but it does form a part of the selection process. But good looks or not attracted, a friend has to be a genuine friend, not just friend in name.

    • I've had actual nice guys - who I assume were nervous and took along time to declare their interest (after even YEARs of friendship) and then go cold after getting me into bed. The way I see it (and correct me if I am wrong) is that guys in this situation become so focused on getting out of the "friendzone" that that becomes their sole focus regarding a particular girl, so they don't actually stop and think whether they are interested in a relationship or just sleeping with her - a guy in this situation doesn't really think about or consider what his real interest is because his main goal is winning the girl over. Then, when he finally sleeps with the girl, he maybe thinks about it a bit more deeply and realises personality incompatibilities, etc, which he was blinded to before, because all he cared about before he got the sex, was winning this girl over and making her see him as more than a friend.

    • I guess, but you'd know wouldn't you? I mean wouldn't the two people go on dates first? Not every guy is bad, just as not every girl does bad things. Do girls also do the whole keep him, sleep with him and discard?

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  • Most people befriend people they are somewhat attracted to. That doesn't mean they don't actually want the friendship.

    • My friends are all pretty honest with each other abiit being interest in sex. Wanting sex And wanting friendship do not cancel each other out. You either have sex or you don't but you're still friends

    • And yes women can want to have sex with women friends or guy friends it's not a guy thing.

    • Agreed on wanting the friendship. Sometimes you are genuinely friends and will want to be friends even if you had a one night stand one day right? Agreed, you're still friends. What does it mean tho, if you fantasize about those friends? So do women friends think about their male friends or pick them based on this?

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  • Eh I sort of believe it. I have this one guy friend for years. I liked him a while back and he told me he didn't want to ruin our friendship. But he called me gorgeous as a nickname and always complemented me. I know he was attracted to me but nothing ever happened. So it's not always the case that you want to sleep with them even if you know they're attractive.

    • How did you tell him you liked him?

    • I said "I want you to be more than my friend. I have for a long time." He said "We can't, you know I love you but I don't want to risk losing you." He said that he sucks at relationships and I'm the type that deserves it all. Real sweet stuff. Still hurt at the time though. Oh well.

    • Is there any other way to say it and convey interest?

  • yeah this is why all my male friends are gay, I don't need a shallow lie of a "friendship" so I don't make friends with straight or bi guys.

  • I have female friends who are attractive sure, but even given the chance I would not sleep with them because I know it would lead to nothing but ruining our friendship.

    And I don't jerk off to them either.

    So either I am some blip in the data, or this is overgeneralizing bull.

    • This ^

    • It's not going to be everyone nor all your female friends. But some? Of course.

      And as for the fantasies, I'm pretty sure that's pretty common. The friends would have to be both attractive AND nice people in order for them to be deemed that desirable.

      Check this out too if you can: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22945-harry-potter-should-have-ended-up-with-cho-chang

  • Well spoken

  • I have never jerked off to a real person outside of porn. Not even my girlfriend. And I've never jerked off to a mere picture either, only movies.

    About your main argument, I agree with you to some degree. I'd say it's accurate for the majority of my female friends, but I also think it's much more so while you are in your younger years and are actively hunting for potential sex partners. Nowadays I have a lot more female friends, coworkers, friends of my girlfriend, etc. that I feel no particular sexual attraction to and still consider good friends. It's also sometimes that you find someone attractive initially based on looks but once you get to know their personality you kinda lose interest. Number one reason for me: you find out she smokes. That's a huge turn off sexually for me but of course it's not a reason to end a friendship.

  • I doubt no one knew this before...
    But - thankfully - not all guys think this way.

    Most - yes, not all, thought.

    • 80% at least

    • Why would it be a bad thing that guys think this way?

    • @TheSpartan Mainly because it would be uncomfortable and awkward. Then I couldn't adjust my bra in front of him or change or anything... If I did I'd feel like I'm teasing him not like I'm really just trying to change or adjust my bra. o. O Being very conscious of everything I did - I'd feel like there would be no way for me to relax.

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  • Well then I like this take!
    img.pandawhale.com/...lling-me-theres-a-c-YUXt.gif

  • I think you have something there... Now that I think about it , all my male friends have at some point (and probably still do) wanted to get with me... Its crazy :o :o

    • Really? How did they come onto you and does it work the other way round?

    • well, one of my friends told me we should have a chill day at his house. I asked him if his girlfriend would be ok with it and he said yes... then he went on to say that he might want to kiss, hug etc. the second guy wanted to have sex with me even though he had a girlfriend abroard the third one wanted me to have a fling with him but he is married and he still wanted me to pass by at his work in the night and 'Work" if you know what I mean there's plenty more one thing I realize is beres hammond reggae voice *singing* ..'nothing you can stop a man from trying"

    • Lol on the saying. Is that what chill day means then? How do you know if a girl is coming onto you (and you already know each other)? Do girls do this? Would love to hear your thoughts on another question. Just sent you a follow request

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  • And this is why my female friends always start to question me after a month -_-.

    Yes, I have very attractive friends. Yes, I have very attractive female friends. Yes, I have very attractive female friends who trust me enough to change in front of me and talk. Yes, I'm trying to get with ONE (because I find her in particular special). NO, I don't wanna fuck all my female friends. And HELL NAW, do I ever want to sleep with some just because they might be single or jerk off the their pictures because that's weird as fuck.

    • Fantasising about them is normal tho

    • I don't do that either cause that's also beyond weird. There's a difference between finding them very attractive and being able to hang out with them and thinking about fucking them and, in my eyes, you cross a line there. Though I won't be surprised if you find me "gay" for that. Sad, really, that I live in a generation where a guy is called gay for not being a horny beast.

    • Nothing wrong if you don't do it. To each their own.

      Nothing wrong if you do. Some people might think about them, after all you befriended them as they are nice people. And they're pretty, so they're bound to be desirable in your opinion.

      Check this out: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22945-harry-potter-should-have-ended-up-with-cho-chang

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  • What if he already has a gf?

    • Backup plans. Everyone wants a safety net, since she could turn traitor or go kaboom or a tree could fall on her any minute. Gotta have a net to catch you if your initial plans blow up in your face. When it comes to dating, every man wants to be either Favio, King Arthur, or Leisure Suit Larry, depending on his attitude about women and life. But every man secretly fears that he'll be Spider-Man instead. He might get laid now and then, but only to witness his girl get sucked into a vortex or turned into a hideous monster or grow to hate him for whatever dumb reason the writers think up. Or, she could just outright die. In front of him. The more tragically and senselessly, the better. And love interests don't get easy resurrections. And now, you understand male insecurities a little better. Yeah, my love life is like a Spider-Man comic. Minus the flying goblins and giant lizards. Because screw that.

    • Really? There is this guy that I am pretty sure almost 100% liked me and still does since he still acts like it. Yet it seems that he is with another girl. If he does at least still find me attractive do you think he would still want to sleep with me?

    • yes he would if you push hard enough

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  • Somebody please tell me this isn't true cause I have quite numbers of guy friends and we hang out like normal friends.

  • What about the guys that have a LOT of girl friends? Attractive and not?

    • Especially them.

  • Actually I'm pretty conscious when I decide to befriend cute girls.

    • Lol. I mean personality counts too, but it's funny isn't it how you would bang right?

    • Clarify?

    • Well I think it's pretty natural that I'd wanna bang them all.

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  • I have definitely been friends with girls I don't intend to sleep with. I think they compose the majority.

  • Definitely not true. There are some I'd agree with this, but there are a lot where I would never ever consider it and don't even want to think about it happening

    • Yeah not all , no way. But some girls I guess you would. If you were both single, then yeah.

  • I have plenty of girls that I'm friends with that I wouldn't fuck if they begged. I jist dont find them attractive to me, not that they are ugly. I hang out with them BC they are cool not cuz they are hot

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