The desensitizing of Rape?

[gobsmacked3]

I never thought I would live to see a day when society has become so passe about Rape.

Desensitizing perception of an act of such gravity.

My experience looms large in my mind, having being sexually molested for three years between the ages of four to seven. Though, not technically the archetypal form of rape, it still had the same feelings of violation with the accompanying self-loathing and devastation that goes with it. Like many, I was silenced, never able to face up to the pain or try to seek retribution out of fear of not being believed or my experience diminished.

The legacy, seen in the fractures sent through my life, always simmering under the surface, rising to boil in the most inopportune moments.

Rape mirrors this, a vile act verging on torture.

Lost, diminished as you hear celebrities resembling a paparazzi following or photo shoots to rape, or rape scenes becoming trendy in tv shows. Showing alcohol and drugs apparent or the violence that so goes with the rape, conveniently omitted. The attire and body language of the victim on trial throughout the scenes making you think the rapist is justified, or perversely the 'real victim'.

Perpetuating a sick Rape culture in society,all while trivalizing it as hysteria from the feminazi.

I wonder if the 1 in 5 women experiencing rape in their lifetime or the 1 in 2 admitting to experiencing some form of sexual assault agree?

Or the growing number of men admitting to some form of sexual assault?

Such banter points to acute ignorance abounding over an epidemic. With it viewed as an isolated act happening in dark alleys with the perpetrator a stranger. The cruel aspect is most victims know their rapist with it often happening in their home making the violation all the more devastating.

Few, if any report it, shock paralyzing them into delusion over 'their part or responsibility in the act'. Most women seem tacit in the act, rarely resisting or screaming 'rape' with few realising shock as well as a very real fear for their life precludes this. Rapists are astute predators knowing the act silences the victims voice.

If the victim seeks justice, a '2nd rape' ensues seen in facing many harrowing physical and mental interrogations.

All while knowing that 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail while 100% of survivors will wrestle PTSD ( Post-traumatic stress disorder ) for the rest of their life.

[RationalMale]

Simple.

Rape has gone from being a crime where a woman would get beaten and/or the rapist would use a weapon... or a woman being drugged... to "drunk couple hooked up=she was raped!"

It's like that Mattress Girl who became famous for being "raped." Then her facebook messages came out and she was texting her "rapist" and saying she loved him and wanted to hang out in the days and weeks following the "rape." Keep in mind she wrote that the "rape" was so traumatic she was afraid of leaving her dorm room for days, and started crying in terror when he entered a classroom she was in. And at the same time she was messaging him to hang out and professing her love... yet people didn't laugh her out of college!

Society is lumping in regret sex with rape. Of course people won't care so much about rape anymore.

[gobsmacked3]

Great reply, I guess I still live in the age where Rape was very much taboo. Meaning I struggle with how flippant people are in its use and the other connotations associated

[udolipixie]

The desensitizing of Rape?
In my opinion it is probably because rape is seemingly a woman's issue. I find society tries to desensitize others to most issues that concern gals.

When it comes to rape it seems the go-to mindset is how most rapes are false accusations and way more or an equal/similar number of guys are raped by gals.

A mindset that goes against credible statistics since admitting rape is an issue is less appealing than calling most gals liars and trying to equalize the genders. I state trying as it seems when it comes to guys being raped there is no talk of false accusations... apparently that only applies to gals being raped.

[gobsmacked3]

Great post- thank u

[dudeman]

men don't lie like women about stuff like this.

[dudeman]

if a man wants to get even he will simply kick your ass a women will make a false accusation.

[udolipixie]

dudeman In your opinion men don't lie about rape. The idea of gals making false accusations for revenge seems over sensationalized considering credible reputable statistics find 8% of accusations unfounded.

[Rainie_]

Sexual assault is very, very common. And probably the least reported crime. I've been sexually assaulted a few times. But I know society doesn't see the crime as something worthy of paying attention to, so there is no point in reporting it at all, and just knowing how rape victims have problems reporting their crimes, never mind bothering about sexual assault. and it's sad because me and most of my friends have come to the mindset that sexual assault is just something every woman goes through in her life. And yes in a way that has allowed us to move on from the problem much faster, but it doesn't make it not a crime. We've become desensitised by sexual assault, just accepting it as it is.
And also I'd like to add, one of my sexual assaults was when I was celebrating my birthday at the club, and this guy kept coming after me and eventually I lost my friends and he took the opportunity to pull me to an empty corridor and put his hand down my pants and touch me. I wasn't even drunk and I was trying to fight back all the time but I'm too weak to. He kept telling me "you know you want to" and I legit could not scream because the music is so loud. If it hadn't been for my friends looking for me everywhere I could've been raped. But if I took this case to court, they would probably dismiss straight away because of where it took place. And that wasn't the only time something like that has happened to me. And what's sad is that he probably has legit raped people before because he seemed to know so well how to do all this. I know these assaults has affected me in a bad way, and the way that I view sex. And it's kind of become like, damn I'm so thankful I wasn't raped, dismissing the fact that I was indeed assaulted. :/

[VampireEmpress]

yeah, only 2% of rape cases turn into convictions. and so many are dropped by the victims because it's traumatizing when they have to explain what happened to them. it's so ridiculous the system works this way.

[dartmaul15]

the problem here is that emotions has no room in the justice system.

It feels bad, and is heartbreaking, and god knows what. But you still need to prove him guilty. It's a fundamental part of the justice system, and it needs to stay that way. Sadly that means unsolved cases. But i agree, there are WAY too many unsolved cases, and way too many cases that are never reported.

A second reason it's becoming so trivialized is the fact it's used so fuckign often over and over and over and over again as a shock factor. You eventually get immune to hearing about it. You hear and see it all the time, why should you care more about this case?
It's absurd, but it's crying wolf. And the perpetuator? Media, and everyone using rape as shock factor. When i was a kid it was bad, and it shocked everyone. Now after it's used time and again in books, films, series (looking at you, game of thrones) it's been trivialized.
And it hurts the real world victims. Because it's trivialized, and suddenly it's seen as "just another day in life".

But ultimately there is one line you NEED to source, and it's this one; "I wonder if the 1 in 5 women experiencing rape in their lifetime or the 1 in 2 admitting to experiencing some form of sexual assault agree?"
The numbers are way off the charts for what is actually reported, and still off the charts when including the estimated number of non-reported rape cases. So i'm going to be that dick asking you to cite your claims.

[GirlScout]

The internet has desensitized us to a lot of graphic images, a lot of abuse, exploitation, violence, racism. Society likes to detach itself through a screen and pretend that it isn't real. That the facts aren't real, just propaganda. Then on the flip side you have the culture of cash for nothing, suing people and charging them falsely to alleviate the guilt of your own promiscuity, get some sympathy and some recompense.

[gobsmacked3]

Very true :(

[hellionthesage]

I do not see rape being desensitised (here in the US women have made accusations and long after they where proven to be false people continued to view them as victims and the innocent male as a rapist) The 1 in 5 statistic is lie and has been proven as such (its closer to 1 in 36 if memory serves), it also originally only applied to college campuses (I believe 70% of the respondents who the study claimed where raped out right refuted that claim). That said I do believe that male victims of rape (both from men and women (which is about the same as male on female rape)) is largely ignored. www.washingtonexaminer.com/.../2551980
time.com/.../
www.washingtonpost.com/.../
https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/
www.usatoday.com/.../
I think for the sensationalization of it its because its viewed as so bad that it has shock value, that however will eventually lead ot desensitization. Not that I don't think that it can't be portrayed or talked about however all the facts should be present. For instance the fact that orgasm is not that uncommon is not well known, this leads to extreme trauma since people believe its abnormal while the victim becomes convinced that they some how wanted it when in reality sexual pleasure is no different then pain, nerves are stimulated and send that information to the brain you can't just not feel pleasure any more then you can pain. However for whatever reason people don't seem to want to admit to this resulting in a much more severe PTS over the event then what would be if we openly acknowledged it. I would point out however that while rape is bad, its not the worse thing to happen. The fact is it is a mental attack using sex as the medium. Its more to do with your feelings about the event rather then the event itself (thats why it never seems to heal because its in your own mind). So one outlook on it can adversley affect the duration of time it takes to recover or speed the recovery. I my self was raped as a child, repeatedly over the course of a couple years. I was also starved beaten and eventually stabbed in the head. When one looks at all of these things, rape is lowest on the list of concernes. Realizing that rape couldn't physically harm me lead me to the realization that it was mental, no different then having some one insult me (or having a centipede/spider crawling on me) its not a pleasent experiece but it also isn't really damaging unless you allow it to consume you, if you fixate on it. Once you realize they where attempting to dominate you and continue to do so long after the incident you can realize that its a choice you are making, if that makes sense.

[hellionthesage]

That isn't to say that I am disparraging rape victims feelings only that if you begin to analyze it (easier said then done) eventually (given ample time usually), you will realize its purely inside your head and that then means it lies within the one place you have most control and power over, again if that makes sense. (This is either going to be very helpfull or piss off a lot of people, lets hope its the former rather then the latter)

[gobsmacked3]

my figures are Australian figures

[hellionthesage]

Could you give me a link? The fact is it is most likely not accurate. Barring a huge culture difference between america and australia or an ecnomic/social one the statistics should be representative of all similar social structures (thats he point of sampling since obviously they didn't survey the entire population but had a sample and applied it to the majority under the presumption that the rules are consisten through out the social system). Also if you down vote, please tell me why?(not directed to the asker)

[gobsmacked3]

i never down vote any one, i appreciate all opinions. One sec

www.casa.org.au/casa_pdf.php?document=statistics

I have other sources, will supply after

[hellionthesage]

Thats why I specified that it wasn't directed at you, it was a female down vote. I just don't like when people disagree but don't have the decency to say why. It doesn't help clear up misunderstandings and it doesn't help me if my figures are wrong so it really doesn't serve a purpose, maybe if I was being rude but I don't think I was so it just seems rather petty.

[gobsmacked3]

I am old school- love when people disagree with me for it leads to lively debate. particularly with responses as passionate and insightful as yours :)

[hellionthesage]

Yeah I don't like that fact sheet, it doesn't tell you the methodology or what questions where asked which is what happened with the 1 in 5 statistic in america, it also has it very one sided pointing to male perpetrators and female victims so that also gives me pause (for a society that believes men and women are equal, they don't seem to think women are capable of wrong doing) this is what happened with the 1 in 5 statistic as well, they asked women if they ever had sex when they didn't want it (which has nothing to do with consent, a wife giving in to her husbands desire for sex is a lot different then a man forcing himself on the woman) or if they ever had sex under the influence of drugs/alcohol (again having nothing to do with consent), this was a yes or no question. This would be like asking someone if they still beat there wife, if they say yes they admit to abuse, if they say no they still admit to abuse because it implies they use to beat there wife but not anymore. The same

[hellionthesage]

questions where not asked of the men but rather where asked in such a way that the questions painted women as the victims in both scenarios. The men where asked if htey ever had sex with a woman when she didn't want it or was under the influence (notice how they completely ignored both the question of consent which would artifically inflate hte numbers, and the possibliity that the men could be victims as well). Then the fact that it was a survey that was self reported and was not asked of a random sample but rather posted as an ad, basicly only the people interested in the subject or having experienced these things would gravitate to it as those who have not or where not wouldn't have bothered essentially only drawing in the victims instead of an even distribution. This is why they should be using double blind experiments for this but rarely do. As my CDC link noted how they phrase the question and worse how the questioner defines rape also alters those statistics entirely.

[hellionthesage]

For instance in the CDC report only 1% of men where raped, yet when you look at it, they claim men who where forced into sexual intercourse by a woman, or forced to penetrate (ie rape) suddenly the numbers of victims are equal to that of female victims. Hence me pointing out a bias against male victims of rape, even within the studies they refuse to acknowledge them as victims while simultaneously push for the mentality that women are only victims creating a false gender gap in perpatration of rape (as well as domestic violence and most every other crime). This bias can be seen in most aspects of our society, for instance the readyness to believe that 20% of all women are victims of rape (by 20% or the male population, or so they implie) while men account for only 1% of victimization (also by men) when you see that big of a gap in perpetration, it should be questioned, both because society could not funtion if this where the case and because we are constantly claiming men and women are

[hellionthesage]

equal yet attributing all crimes to one gender and all victimhood to the other which doesn't add up. Sorry for righting so much, just trying to explain my reasonings.

[hellionthesage]

I also hold to the idea of debate. You must never stop questioning and you must never run from being questioned. Its the only way to find the truth of the matter. Unfortunatley from all the downvotes and blocks I recieve I don't think its a popular opinion know a days. Glad to see some one also see's it this way :) As for my remark on coping with rape, what are your thoughts? I just want to be sure I conveyed my thoughts in a reasonable fashion (if they are misinterpreted it could lead to a very volatile situation).

[gobsmacked3]

You can diminish any fact sheet but i also have the experience of working in crisis counselling so i have seen the epidemic it is.

[hellionthesage]

But that itself is a bias, you are seeing the victims not the countless non victims out there. As i stated I have personally experienced it, that doesn't mean all people have or the majority of people have. Its ancedotal. That is why I asked for other sources, ones that list methodology because then you can tell if they are reliable. Everything I stated was true for the statistics in america, they were proven to be false, participants themselves claimed the statements where false. To claim something as an epidemic with bias data is to claim nothing. We as a people always think the worst of others, so we readily believe statistics like these believeing that only we are moral and upright and the vast majority of people are not (studies have shown this many times). I only deal in facts, I want to know how the study was done who was funding it who created it and why and what the questions and methodology where because that will determine its veracity, nothing else.

[FakeName123]

"You can diminish any fact sheet but i also have the experience of working in crisis counselling so i have seen the epidemic it is." Which to be fair is selective perception as well as confirmation bias. Add to it some sort of emotional subjectivity for the amount of traumatised victims and you surely have a biased view on the matter. Additionally I have gone through the 1-5 study and frankly speaking I am surprised this is even in any media or seen as scientific as it's, lets be nice and say, quite questionable. That being said I do think the black numbers of actual rape victims are quite high. Unfortunately there are a lot of groups and people who make it even harder to come forward for actual victims (those who cry rape at every opportunity, false rape-claims, etc)

[hellionthesage]

@FakeName123 Well reasoned and I would concurr with that. "Additionally I have gone through the 1-5 study and frankly speaking I am surprised this is even in any media or seen as scientific as it's, lets be nice and say, quite questionable." Thats why I was listing off all the flaws in it, people like to look at the number but they don't like asking how it was acquired. They did a second study too, recently to prove the number correct but when you look at the methodology it was almost identicle to the original and thus had all the original flaws. People don't like to fact check I suppose.(which is a shame that media (and our own American president) are among those people)

[FakeName123]

Yeah. I don't even have any degree of any sort and just reading through about 50 pages of that study shows me how flawed it is. That's even without consideration for the scientific necessary methodology.

[hellionthesage]

@FakeName123 Same here. Its rather sad state of things.

[elric]

This was must needed for this discussion. Thank you.

[hellionthesage]

@elric Your welcome, though from the down votes you are in the minority in that opinion.

[elric]

Nothing new there. Once people make up the mind to follow the flock, they hate dissenting opinions. Though with all the references you have provided, it is quite ridiculous. Regardless, you did very politely and with greater patience than I could of lol.

[hellionthesage]

@elric I do a lot of arguing so, practice makes perfect I suppose :)

[Kinstrome]

With what study is the 1 in 5 rape statistic substantiated? I have heard that number cited often, although I have also heard it derives from a very politically-motivated study that broadened the definition of rape to include such things as leaning in for a kiss.

Still a pretty good take, though.

[Monsters]

It is actually 1:3 women And 1:6 men

[AleDeEurope]

The thing is that people don't longer understand what rape is. I have seen so many questions on this site of people asking if what happened was rape, when it clearly had NOTHING to do with rape. We're treating everything as rape, that's why people are desensitized.
Also, it's been talked way too much. YES, I know it has to be addressed, but there are people that bring up the rape topic when you're talking about apples.
People are talking more about the rape stories than about doing something to stop rape.
Also, some people don't take rape seriously. When you read articles that say "Every man has a rapist in him" that is just reducing the seriousness of the situation and treating it as a joke.

[Kirah]

Most of the statistics you cited simply do not ring true.

RAINN is not a good source.

[gobsmacked3]

these are Australian stats

[cipher42]

... did you actually look the stats up and fact check them or did you just assume that they must be wrong because you don't want to believe them? Cause "they don't ring true" sounds to me like code for "I don't want to believe this so I'll make a lame excuse as to why I shouldn't have to."

[gobsmacked3]

@cipher42 is this directed at me? if so, they are substantiated figures showing just how rampant rape/sexual abuse is. A great societal shame :(

[cipher42]

Nah, the opinion owner. Sorry, thought I made that clear by quoting her.

[hellionthesage]

@cipher42 They are proven to be false

[Kirah]

@cipher42 I'd love to check out the statistics, but the myTake owner did not provide any sources, so I'm left to guess at the source. Since RAINN is a common source for the "1 in 5" statistic, I took an educated guess.

Don't jump to conclusions.

@gobsmacked3 rape is not NEARLY as widespread as your statistics may indicate. The statistic is literally based on the question "Has your partner ever done something to you that you may not have been entirely comfortable with?". And of course such a broad and dishonest question is going to produce large figures.

time.com/.../

[gobsmacked3]

i am happy to supply you with the stats but it bemuses you that you are doing your best to diminish the issue. From your first reply your stance has been to diminish the seriousness of an issue that most would deem as a plague Very curious seeing you are a woman

[cipher42]

@mytakeowner: don't be so surprised. Internalized misogyny is actually pretty common among women. Most of the time it takes other, less obvious forms (like "I'm not like other girls") but too often it looks like this.

[gobsmacked3]

@cipher42 It stuns me that a woman would take this stance. But everything to do with Rape in this age does my head in. Particularly how it has even entered speech all too commonly. People seem deluded to its gravity and feel the need to diminish it :(

[Kirah]

@cipher42 crying misogyny every time someone disagrees with you doesn't make you right. Both of you are also completely missing the fact that rape happens to men too, and far more often than you think. @gobsmacked3 no statistics, no sale.

[gobsmacked3]

www.casa.org.au/casa_pdf.php?document=statistics

i can provide you with more if you wish

[Northeast106]

Statistics are not infallible. Methods used to collect data matter greatly, and can be manipulated for political or economic gain. Secondly, I understand not all rape cases are prosecuted, but you have to look at why. There needs to be evidence, and proof of a crime. In the U. S you are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. That means, under accusations or charges, you are still presumed innocent, and it is the burden of the state to prove guilt against you. This is to help protect you from being falsely charged and convicted of a crime you didn't commit. There's a saying, "It is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer." This doesn't just apply to rape or sexual assault cases, it applies to all crimes. If we imprisoned people only based on hearsay, then that could be used in a malicious manner. It's law enforcement's, and the court's job to determine what really occurred.

[Northeast106]

sorry, meant to post this as my own post.

[Northeast106]

Statistics are not infallible. Methods used to collect data matter greatly, and can be manipulated for political or economic gain. Secondly, I understand not all rape cases are prosecuted, but you have to look at why. There needs to be evidence, and proof of a crime. In the U. S you are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. That means, under accusations or charges, you are still presumed innocent, and it is the burden of the state to prove guilt against you. This is to help protect you from being falsely charged and convicted of a crime you didn't commit. There's a saying, "It is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer." This doesn't just apply to rape or sexual assault cases, it applies to all crimes. If we imprisoned people only based on hearsay, then that could be used in a malicious manner. It's law enforcement's, and the court's job to determine what really occurred.

[dudeman]

people are sick of hearing false statistics that's why rape accusations are not taken serious. the real numbers show that 1/150 or so women are raped not 1/5 we also don't live in a rape culture that's just silly to even propose. also there are many women who falsely accuse men of rape. from the data it shows that roughly half of all rape accusations are false so a rape accusations shouldn't be taken as a factual claim.

[GreatnessPersonified]

As long as people know not to do it, and law enforcement takes it seriously, then what's the problem?

[gobsmacked3]

I question people knowing right from wrong these days as seen by how they trivalise issues of real gravity, like rape

[GreatnessPersonified]

Have you read the news. They trivialize events like mass deaths by accidents and ISIS, to focus on a fucking slutwalk.

[James19]

Great take. Informative.

[Anonymous]

I see signs around my university saying that 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted, abused, or raped, and I dont think that's too far from the truth. I was raped, I have a friend who was raped, and I have two friends who were touched inappropriately without consent. None of us were drunk, either. My ex suffered through years of abuse as a child, and I dont think he ever reached out to get help for it

It is desensitized, if you ask me. I think it's getting better though, as more people realize how truly devastating it is. There are always going to be people who abuse the system (I was reading some comments about women falsely accusing men), but that should NOT make the issue of rape any less serious. It is SO hard to seek help, even when it is readily availiable, because of how much the rape messes with your mind and emotions. I couldnt talk about what happened to me for months after my violation.

If people are less willing to accuse the victim, things will change. Rape takes away pieces of your soul that are very hard, sometimes impossible, to get back.

[gobsmacked3]

Commiserations on your suffering :(

[jjmarvin]

I bet more like 1 in 3 or 1 in 2 are sexually abused tbh. 1 in 6 men go through sexual abuse. I and about 5 friends all have sexual abuse experiences

[dudeman]

in college women 1 in 189 women are raped. its very far from the 1 in 5 lie that feminist keep reporting due to poor research methods.

[Opinion Owner]

@dudeman it's more than that. Maybe 1 in 189 report it. Most people dont report it for a variety o reasons.

[Opinion Owner]

@jjmarvin From what I hear from friends, you are probably right :(

[Anonymous]

While I'm sure the experience of sexual assault was terrible for you and anyone else who has experienced it, I feel like you're forcing me to diminish the issue by calling bullshit on those statistics. Are those Australian figures?

[gobsmacked3]

Yes Sir

[Anonymous]

I think most sexual abuse is overlooked unless it's a grade school teacher who got told on or a woman who is raped. Molestation is highly overlooked even though it has some of the same exact effects raped has. It's amazing how many people I've talked to who have been molested. Heck I'VE been molested. Not for years but for a couple weeks in high school.

Yeah it sickens me to see how the world has embraced sexual assault. I'm not demonizing the author of 50 shades of grey (I don't know what their moral compass is), but it's books like that along with TV shows and movies that have made it a "sexy" thing to get tied up, blind folded, and took against your will. This silly "fantasy" is like the Matrix. A false reality. On the surface it's fun and games and "cute", but in reality there are people getting raped every day. Maybe every hour. Sexual assault isn't sexy. It's horrible torture.

[gobsmacked3]

thank you for the comment, spot on :)

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome bro.

[Monsters]

Men. i think have it harder