Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Kink shaming; don't do it.

People love to kink shame, and there are many...odd kinks out there, but that doesn't give us a reason to kink shame. Please be nice, hate will be reported.

Kink shaming; don't do it.

Some people may be very vanilla, and not be into a lot of stuff. But there are many different kinks, as in BDSM, DD/LG (or MD/LB etc), fetishes like legs, feet, age play, pet play, exhibisism (being an exhibionist) anal, anonymous sex, threesomes/orgies/gangbangs, rogues, femdom, biting, oral, scratching, choking, belittiling, tying someone else up, I could go on with more kinks and fetishes.

Kink shaming; don't do it.

Obviously not everyone is going to like the same things. I for example, am into DD/LG, BDSM, that sort of stuff. I have a friend who is vanilla as fuck and won't do much sexually. Well there is a line being drawn when it comes to kinks.

Don't kink shame someone if it doesn't hurt them or other people. There is a crush fetish, (they like being crushed, literally) and it can be dangerous. That is a kink where the line is drawn, but only because it is harmful and people don't take precautions before getting crushed.

People may be ashamed of having a certain kink, especially if it is an odd kind, or a newer kind. I was nervous to let people know I like DD/LG but now I don't care at all really. We like what we like, if it's being bitten, inflicting pain upon someone (with their consent) being tied of, what have you.

I didn't like feeling weird for enjoying a kink that many people do. No one likes to feel weird, odd, different, crazy etc for deriving enjoyment from a normal thing.

As long as the two (or more) people know what's going on and have full consent to whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with having kinks.

Kink shaming isn't something that should be done as it is none of your business. What someone does in the bedroom is their business. The only time it isn't, is if it is non-consensual.

Kink shaming; don't do it.

Girls who tease, end up on their knees.

1 0

Most Helpful Girl

  • But the thing is it's not like your sexuality, race, or gender where you can't hide it. It's something that should be kept in the bedroom anyway. So if you don't want to be "shamed" don't go around shoving your private sexual fetishes in people's faces. There are specific spaces where people are actively looking to talk about that kind of thing and you will be accepted and welcomed there. But I get annoyed when people plaster it all over tumblr, or ask me if they can be my "daddy" or if I'm a "good little girl". And then act like I am in the wrong because I don't want to be part of their kink! If someone didn't ask to be involved in your kink and you involve them anyway, I think it's more than justified for them to shame you or get annoyed. You have the choice to leave the whips and the toys at home and no one will know, people who are oppressed for their sexuality, race, or gender have no escape and have to carry that stigma around 24/7. So while you may find it annoying I don't think it's that much of a big deal as it is very easily avoided.

    • Yeah I agree, I've never heard of kink shaming. You don't really talk normal sex with random people (or get into detail anyway) and when you talk about kink it's usually with other kinksters.

    • @Scrambledagain Exactly! If you only talk about it in appropriate settings where everyone actually wants to hear it no one will shame you anyway! But when you go around sharing details of your sex life when no one is asking for them whether you are vanilla or kinky people are going to get mad because they didn't want those details shoved in their face!

Most Helpful Guy

  • An interesting Take. I must say I was a bit scared to go forward with reading about the kinks of a woman who call herself Homicidal_Queen. lol. You kink does not sound too far out, so I was amazed at the negative responses. But I have noticed that there are many "interests" (kinks) that some people have that can easily be explained (how they got the interest, etc) that are not hurtful to anyone, that some people really get upset about. For instance, Golden Showers. And I am talking about just the peeing on each other, no in the mouth stuff. I have no interest, but would participate if my partner needed that stimulation. I don't understand it, but I don't need to understand it. It does not hurt the participants and certainly does not hurt anyone else, and you can just shower afterwards, but some people really want to shame that.

    Enjoyed your myTake. Thank you.

    • aww thank you. and yea i know what you mean but I couldnt do it, something like golden showers or scat. I would get turned off and grossed out but i wouldn't mind if thats what theyre into

    • Oh, the scat I could not do, either! But as I said, the Golden Showers, as long is it is just that and nothing about in the mouth, you can always shower, so no big deal. If it was important to my partner I would have no problems participating.

    • same here with that but I may have many kinks (i didn't list them all) it doesn't mean I dont have limits lol

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

2 9

  • My name is #Mistnigqa808 and I will not "kink" shame from this day forward. And remember " Girls who tease, end up on their knees."😳😳

  • Well said, I feel. like the fact that Amyone who says something is there kink, they are basiclly admitting it's kind of weird but more importantly that they like it anyways. You only really have 2 right ways to take it, you like it too and do it with them or you respectfully decline. Shame is just messed up.

    I have a buddy who, I dont remember how it even came up, he may have been drunk but he has one that I think is weird, he likes feet, ok that's his business were both straight anyways so it really has nothing to do with me and I'm not gonna shame him.

    Weirdest one I can think of is balloons, but if you like it go ahead and do it, it dosent hurt anyone and you like it so have fun.

  • I don't think anyone could ever shame me out of my daddy kink or make me feel like shit about it. They might say something that makes me make a mental note to never bring it up to them in the future, but they won't make me feel bad for enjoying calling him daddy and enjoying how he can make me feel extremely submissive and quite borderline little (without the dress up and the coloring books, etc.).

    He typically just makes me feel little as in like... tiny. And his to protect. Even though I don't ask or place that responsibility on him and am a fully functioning, independent adult.

    But I do accept that others don't understand it, just like I don't understand some kinks and fetishes myself. But I won't judge someone for it, I'll just tell them it isn't my thing but they're MORE than welcome to enlighten me on it. In an informative way, not a "sway me to the darkside" way.

    • exactly same here! kink shaming is just basically judging their kinks in a negative way and being rude/ignorant

    • Yeah, shit has to stop. But it never will, at least people let you know they're ignorant so you're not surprised down the road.

    • i know an thats a plus lol

    • Show All

  • ... eh, this is great in principle and all, but I can't help but feel like people saying "fat shaming is bad".

    Sure, it's not nice to be antagonistic, but we also shouldn't pretend that being 200 kg (440 lbs) is completely normal. I think the same applies to pooping on each other's chest, or jacking off to dismembered parts of men/women, or roleplaying that they're having sex with their father.

    Alas, I can't help but feel like if you have a desire to hurt your partner (and secondly if you want to be hurt by your partner), then that is something you should have checked out with a specialist, as it is an indicator of childhood trauma, or certain mental disorders and tendencies that require medical attention.

    No shaming or anything; just be aware of what you're doing; and see objectively if it is something that you should want to do, and how it affects you and others.

    • hun this has nothing to do with fat shaming and its just you like what you like I was abused and neglected by my father (neglected all my life, beaten last 2 years) and I still like being 'manhandled' and I know women who are close to their dad and like the same thing as me. while childhood BS can be a contributing factor, that doesn't mean thats all it derives from. just let people do what they want as long as its consensual.

    • Some people like to cut themselves with knives and razors. It's a health risk, and it typically is a sign/symptom of much graver emotional problems. I would not directly accept everything as normal.

    • yea i know, and its harmful to themselves. i did state that above didn't I? in the mytake? please stop commenting, this doesn't need to turn into a 'battle of intelligence' between you and i over something like this.

  • There's a difference between shaming and simply not liking something. I do not like the dd/lg thing. At all. And that's that. That's not shaming. Shaming would be me saying something like "eww I hate the dd/lg kink. I think anybody that likes/does shit like that is creepy as hell and needs help". Big difference. And this isn't a topic that everybody NEEDS to know or has no choice in knowing. You can keep it to yourself and then you wouldn't have to worry about "shaming".

    • no there is a difference. idc if someone doesn't like my kinks or think its weird, just keep it to yourself.

    • and tbh i just needed to write a MyTake and just wrote about the first thing that came to mind.

  • Loved what u wrote n very well said. It took me a while to open up bout my kinks and fantasies n on the whole its good now but still get a few raised eyebrows. I love DD/LG, spanking, schoolgirl/teacher rp etc. Plus i dable in age play, rough bdsm, sub don n master/slave. I can't do vanilla any more. But saying that i never judge anyone for their sexual preferences n ask they dont either. Kinkiness is quite popular but sadly still too many people afraid to open up.

  • What's pet play?

    • acting like their pet, being pet/carassed, fed in a bowl, locked in a acage

    • Oh. Well, that's ok then.

    • ... being fed in a bowl and locked in a cage... I don't want to know what drives someone to see sexual behavior in that.

  • What's dd/lg

    • pretending to be a father and daughter when you have sex :s

    • no its called daddy dom little girl. google it :)

    • Well I may be going into a daddy Dom relationship now. Any hints if you like this play? This is my first time. She is 24 and I'm a hot 33 yr old daddy;)

    • Show All

  • Excellent post. And to be honest, we could do with a lot less of many kinds of shaming. Like slut shaming. Fat shaming (feeling concern for someone's health is not the same as name calling). And of course, kink shaming.

    Why can't we all just hang out and have fun?

  • It's awesome to hear someone finally broaching this subject I feel like a lot of people get way to conservative in their sexual view points and feel the need to put down things they deem not "normal" to feel better about themselves
    Thanks for the take

  • I don't kink slam, instead I spank the bad kinky girls ;)

Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Kink shaming; don't do it.