Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
(JUNE) I had started at my job just a month ago, and so far, the only person who talked to me was Chris*. He had trained me on my first day there, and because he was expo at the time, he was a very loud person. He was hilarious, so full of life and just really didn't care what other people thought about him. Plus the fact that he is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen (he's Dominican if you were wondering). Talking to Chris was like a new start for me every day. He was so sweet to me...introduced me to all of the cooks, helped me to get to know my other coworkers. Took me out to eat when we got off, took me to a movie. It was almost like we were dating (we weren't, and I knew better than to think that). Then came the question I dreaded: Are you a virgin?...When I said yes, it was like an entirely different person came out. At this point, he became a lot more touchy. I didn't mind it very much though. It was mostly just hugging, and after being almost completely alone for 4 years in school, I was loving it. His hugs were like my safety zone. I wanted him all the time. Just to see him. I would get depressed when he was off, and overjoyed when he was there. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. When I would walk in the room, he would get a big smile on his face, yell my name from across the kitchen. It was an amazing time in my life. Then things changed again.
We went to eat one night and afterward he asked me to sit in his car with him. I didn't think much of it, so I did. Within 5 minutes he kissed me. Now, this was NOT my first kiss…it was my third haha. My first kiss was my best friend (at the time) Tanner almost a year before, and my second was Chris (on one of the nights he took me to the movies). So I was okay with kissing him. Then his hand went to my boobs..okay..mildly uncomfortable, but it feels alright. So whatever. Then the hand goes lower. Not okay. I ask him to stop, and he does. More making out. It’s all good. The night ends and I go home. The next week, we made out again. But this time in my SUV (the back seats lay down…easier for us). Same stuff happens as before. And again the next week at his place. Finally, he broke me. He told me how much he likes me, and how much better I was than the other girls he knew. A girl’s dream come true. So I gave in. To all of it. I had sex with a guy I had just met a few months before in the backseat of my car at 2 in the morning next to my workplace.
I was the attractive female version of Anthony Michael Hall's character on The Breakfast Club
But everything was okay still. He paid just as much attention to me as he did before. I thought everything was fine. I didn’t regret doing it. Until HE changed. For whatever reason, I became the go to girl. He would text me and ask when we were going to ‘hook up’ again. I felt like a complete slut/booty call. This isn’t what I wanted…We did it a few more times over a span of like 2 months. Then, at 6:13 am I got a text message:
Carmondy, I do not want to have sex with you anymore, meaning ever. Sorry, hope you understand.
No. I didn’t understand. I cried for 2 hours. All alone in my bedroom, wishing I could go back and never talk to him. I asked him to explain why after I calmed down, and he said to come over on his lunch break. So I did. His excuse for dumping me on my a*s after giving him everything I had to offer? It was getting in the way of our friendship. Are you kidding me? HE was the one who started making things sexual. I was content with things being how they were before we did it. But after losing my virginity to him, I wasn’t okay with going back to the way things were. Mostly because I knew things wouldn’t be that way ever again. We are still friends.. I guess. Every day I see him, I just want to punch him. I will resent him for the rest of my life, no matter how many guys I get with in the future, Chris will always be the guy that tricked me and broke my heart and spirit.
Maybe our parents deserve more credit for their advice...
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