Sexual Relationships
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Slut shaming is wrong, but avoiding 'slutty' women isn't!

Slut shaming is wrong, but avoiding 'slutty' women isn't!

Much is made of 'slut' shaming, women want to be able to do what men have openly been doing for centuries without being judged and I agree with them. It's a woman's right to do what she wants with her genitals and she is free to sleep with whoever she wants, she shouldn't be 'slut' shamed by people who do not sleep around.

What isn't a woman's right is to expect a man or woman to accept their past when it comes to deciding if she is or isn't relationship material/marriage material. Just as their a double standard in regards to men who have sex not being judged in negative light and the opposite of women, there is a double standard where women are free to reject men for sleeping around but men are supposed to accept a woman's past because it's her right to sleep around.

I reject this, if I find out a woman is sleeping around or has slept around I avoid her, not because I think she's a bad person or she has done something wrong but she is not worthy of me. I don't sleep around and it's my right to demand a woman that hasn't and it's not wrong to avoid these types of women in many cases it's the intelligent thing to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What's ironic here is that social justice warriors and feminists always say stuff like "stop slut shaming", "don't judge a woman by her clothes", and "women should be able to wear what they want without being judged for it". I totally agree and I couldn't care less. But the minute they see an attractive and sexy fictional character or woman they immediately jump on it and start saying "disgusting", "slut", "whore", "sex object", "fuck meat", "sexualized", etc. etc...

    • They're very insecure women, that's why they become feminists in the first place, to have a female support group to constantly reinforce her opinions and never criticize her.

    • @Vanadis I see equalist as such.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Agreed. It is in our DNA to avoid promiscuous women for very instinctual reasons. Promiscuous women are more likely to have relationship problems and be poor partners and mothers. That is born out in statistics.

    A woman is free to sleep around all she wants and I will never criticize her for it, but I will also never date or marry her.

    • It doesn't surprise me, I have always said that promiscuous men and women are not hard wired for monogamous relationships and the sooner they start being honest with themselves the better and the statistics clearly show that and I like your approach, it's the same as mine, you have no beef with women who sleep around but they are not women you consider relationship material and nor do I.

    • I wouldn't say it's an innate instinct to avoid them. There is nothing, to suggest that would be hardwired into our brains It's more likely more about nurture than nature

    • @nalaa - I totally disagree with you, as does every man I've ever discussed the matter with. It's a very innate instinct in men that, as a woman. you wouldn't know anything about.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Definition of "Slut":
    1. a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
    Sentence: "she dressed like a slut and didn't act much better"

    2. dated definition:
    a woman with low standards of cleanliness.

    A man or woman who has many casual sexual partners is a slut.
    Don't act like one if you don't want to be called one.

    While it's not nice to be mean to someone, and I don't condone that, it's also not technically wrong. No one should make fun of anyone for any reason, but if they do, it's technically a correct term, much more correct than "whore".

  • I agree on everything, but I don't know of this double standard:
    'there is a double standard where women are free to reject men for sleeping around but men are supposed to accept a woman's past because it's her right to sleep around'
    I don't know where have you heard that you shouldn't reject a person that sleeps around if you are not comfortable with that and further more if you are not the type that sleeps around... I get that it can be twisted in that kind of double standard as most things are when women demand equality... it's just about personal freedom...

  • You have a right to be with whoever you want. As long as you aren't being mean or nasty to someone because you dont approve of what they do sexually. I have slutty friends who I love and care for, but that doesn't mean I would want to drink after them either lol. People all deserve to be treated with respect so as long as you are doing that no big deal.

    • Good answer. The problem with sluts these days though is how prevalent STDs are. After finding out Charlie Sheen passed HIV to like, possibly 50 famous people, I came to the realization that most of these people who have lots of partners are just all dipping into the same cesspool of diseases

  • wow... i totally read the title as ; "Being a 'slut' is bad, but fucking 'slutty' women is ok".

    i think my version is more ubiquitous. as far as social mores , and hypocrisy goes:)

  • This is so ridiculous.

    Look, dating market is just that, a market. You are there to trade your goods for hers. If both of you deem one another of equal value, you have a deal.

    So say one of the things you want to find on the market is purity, as well as beauty, brains, kindness, some quirk you find appealing, whatever... You are making a demand of women to deliver this purity (not being a slut).

    But here's the kicker, we are on the other side of this trade. We are the ones telling YOU what you need to offer us to get what you want. You don't get to decide that you deserve a "pure" girl just because you are pure yourself. Why?

    Because we don't care if you're pure!

    In order to get what you desire on the dating market, you have to offer women what they want on the dating market. And we have never, and will never, care whether someone popped your cherry and then you went a little wild. "Not sleeping around" doesn't make you "worthy of a pure girl". It doesn't make you worthy of any kind of girl. Don't stuff down our throats what we're not asking for.

    Disclaimer: A guy who sleeps around isn't a problem. A guy who may be a sex addict, just uses women, or is fucked in the head may be a problem, but a guy can still be a slut by female standards and be perfectly acceptable.

    • Actually, a guy who does that would have been a deal breaker for my fiancée.

    • @Anno_Domini Most women say that and most women pick their partners completely ignoring sexual past. I'm going off of statistics and experience, you're going off of a "I'm not like other women." declaration made by a woman who wants you to think highly of her. If the guy is not going far overboard like I wrote in the disclaimer, your fiance would be perfectly fine considering him.

    • No, she's very picky, as a traditional Catholic.

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  • Fair point. But I just don't see what the fuss is about. You won't sleep with a woman who's slept around, and my question is why? Like I get that guys don't want a "slut" but I'm not sure if they mean a woman who has had many sexual partners or a woman who is so easy that she doesn't deserve respect for giving herself away so freely.

    I personally find it stupid to not date someone just because of their sexual past, however, if that person is easy and has no standards, then you have a point, I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't value themselves either.

  • These sluts you speak of tell me where I might find them and I will make sure they are rightfully dealt with.

    Seriously though, everybody that whored around is superior to the ones that lusted and fantasizes they live a life that is adventuress without holding back or pretending to be someone else. They explored their sexuality and I guarantee you are far better lovers then all of you finger pointing shamers. Who are is anyone to judge that they seek out sex more then others. It's like obese people seeking out more food or rich people following their greed. If it is not infringing on your freedoms or happiness let it be. We're here for a short time before we are recycled back to earth. You "saving" them equates to nothing but time lost to a useless past time. Save yourself from yourself.

    • So if you found out your sexually adventurous future girlfriend was HIV positive but taking medication for it you wouldn't even consider judging her, right?

    • @SilenRose I fail to see the connection. Calling someone a slut or any name has nothing to do with a virus they contracted. People contract HIV from blood transfusions, sharing needles, and other activities. HIV does not target promiscuous people. To answer your question: I would not judge her, if I was in love. I've had too many relationships were I felt and thought I was in love but in the end I was in it for the security of not being alone. Now that I am older and experienced what I can call love, I would accept it. There are a lot of people that we are compatible with but someone that loves you and makes you feel special and you do the same for them and it's effortless because it's what you both want. That's terribly hard to find and for me to give that up because I'm scared of HIV. I would be living a worse fate. I believe the saying is "it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all."

    • Hear hear!

  • Just leaving this here:

    https://i.imgur.com/0ZfxCvs.jpg

    • This shows me that marriage might be what is wrong here, not promiscuity... These "findings" are biased and basically say that ignorance is bliss. You are happy riding an ass until you see a Ferrari? Bahaha

  • Agreed. I would like to believe I wouldn't judge someone based on their sexual past but I think it would have a huge impact on whether I date them or not.

  • Damn wrote a wall of text on my phone but I refreshed the page accidentally. Any way, this is exactly how I feel. I don't have to shame a woman in order for me to not date her. I can be civil and even friendly to promiscuous women. But I wouldn't date them the same way I wouldn't date an older woman.

  • I agree. I don't expect women to accept that I've slept with certain amount of women, just like I'm not gonna accept women that have slept with half the block.
    I don't care if they do that, it's none of my business, but if I don't wanna date them because of that, then she has to accept that.

    I'm tired of people not wanting to deal with the consequences of their actions.

  • Oh god bliss you for letting me know there's still humanity thinking, Please guys make more of subject like that, support virginity & morality ,,, help girls to get stronger and not give up to a sexual player ,,, I'm 24 it's hard to wait more but cuz of men like u, u give me encourage to keep virginity more & more... Im trying to make campaign to make girls save them self to marriage like old fashioned did

  • No guy I have ever known avoided slutty women. They cheat with them, they fuck them when there's nothing better around... they're happy these women exist.

    • i agree with you. slutty women are a blessing and a jewel, but god damn it would you girls stop stating that your personal friend group is a large enough sample size for an entire population of people?

    • yeah you do all that you just don't commit to them.

    • The only reason the world is still around is because of slutty women. They've been saving the world one cock at a time...

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  • Sure, you avoid them, and send them my way! God I love slutty girls :)

    • What a stupid My Take though... Seriously, if you don't think they did anything wrong or immoral, than what makes them "unworthy," and what the fuck does you not getting laid have to do with your self-worth? I didn't know NOT having a skill was desirable.

  • Couldn't agree more. Women have the right to sleep around as much as they want and men have the right to reject them for it. I personally don't sleep around because I feelbthat sex should be something between two people who care for each other and I will only date a women with similar beliefs

  • Exactly, a woman has the freedom to sleep with as many people as she wants but guys have the freedom to refuse to date them based on their chiices.

    Let's not pretend girls are jumping at the idea of marrying promiscuous men.

    They love hooking up with them but they want the stable financially secure guy for marriage.

    • It's hypocrisy, I would argue that women who sleep around are not entitled to the stable, secure and financially independent guy, especially if he hasn't slept around.

    • I agree. Women commonly have preferences for a man's height and salary, both of which are numbers. However if a man has a preference for the number of sexual partners he wants his wife to habe, they all freak out. Whenyou consider men generally have more to lose if a marriage fails and that there are studies that suggest promiscuous people are less likely to have long lasting marriages, I think it's a smart move for a guy to at least take it into consideration.

    • I couldn't agree more, well said.

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  • sounds right. sluts are for fucking not for marrying.

    • "I wish my wife would do anal" -You in 10 years. LOL

    • @Metlahaed not likely. id have to get married to have a wife.

  • I love women with a crazy sexual past. It's like Virgin is my deal breaker, and porn star (literally) is my first prize. Yes... if I lived the life I wanted I probably would end up like good Ol Charlie sheen. Just would be cool if I could be the lead in hot shots 3.

    • If you actually followed his lifestyle, you more than likely would end up just like "good Ol Charlie Sheen." With HIV.

    • @willow74 exactly;) I've dodged an HIV bullet before. Wasn't fun

  • I don't give a damn who she screws before or after me, but don't do that when I'm around, and I'm cool. Also, no STDs, don't want that.

  • I've never heard that double standard before but I do agree that people have the right to reject someone who has slept around.

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