Sexual Relationships
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Why we don't need to eliminate the word "slut" from our dictionary

Why we don't need to eliminate the word

I recently read a myTake advocating that the word "slut" be eliminated from our vocabulary. I very strongly disagree.

1. Resist the thought police. I always rebel against the thought police. The thought police are people who have an idyllic notion of how the world should be and they would like to force all of us to conform to their standards for attaining that goal. Wouldn't it be nice if no one ever said anything mean to anyone else? Okay then, we have a new rule: no one can ever say anything mean to anyone else.

Of course, this is a silly notion, and the majority of us will not accept the yoke which the thought police wish to impose. Whether they are trying to control our thoughts or our speech, this concept is an anathema to the traditions of most Western civlizations.

The irony is that the thought police think of themselves as being loving and tolerant people and they are . . . unless you disagree with them. They are very tolerant as long as their is nothing to tolerate.

2. If a word is being used inappropriately, correct your use of the word . . . but don't ban the use of the word. The word "slut" is overused . . . and underused. The Take that I read made at least two valid points: girls get called "slut" when the word is not appropriate and guys almost never get called "slut." I have no intention of telling you how to use the word; you can use "slut" to mean "biscuit" if that is your pleasure.

Historically, the word "slut" meant "a dirty, slovenly, or untidy woman," but in modern usage, it generally refers to a woman who engages in sexual relationships in a degree considered shamefully excessive." Of course, some people will say that a woman can have as many partners as she wants. Your opinion on that subject is tied to some fundamental values that you have and there is no right or wrong belief. However, many of us believe that sex should be enjoyed by two people in a close, caring relationship and that one night stands and promiscuity cheapen the meaning of the experience when a partner shares a sexual relationship with you.

If a girl wants to have sex with all of the guys in her school or in her town, she is certainly free to do so, and I would never pesume to tell someone else how they should live their life unless they solicit my advice. However, the feedom to engage in certain behaviors does not mean that you are free to do those things without being judged by others.

Some of you will tell me that we should not judge others. I am not talking about forming judgments like "this girl should be condemned to burn in Hell." I am talking about forming opinions of others. We all do that; it is an inescapabe part of social interactions.

Just as Sally is free to have sex with 150 different guys this year, I am free to form the opinion that Sally is a slut. I am also free to express my opinion aout Sally. If others don't like my opinion, they can openly criticize me. If Sally doesn' like my opinion, she can tell me, or she can stop being a slut . . . or she can continue being a slut and discount my opinion. I have no obligation to remain silent because it might hurt Sally's feelings.

3. Men are rarely called sluts. This is wrong. Men should be held to the same standards in this area. If a man acts like a slut, call him a slut. My Take is not intended, in any way, to encourage any double standard on this issue.

4. Yes, Virginia, sluts really exist. "Slut" is a very appropriate description for some people I have known. I like having words to use. I like descriptive and colorful language. I am not willing to lose a word from my vocabulary. I wil continue to use the word slut. Political correctness has run amuck for far long and I do not wish to participate in that charade.

Peace!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The title of this MyTake is absolutely incorrect at best, and intentionally FALSE at worst.

    The MyTake to which you refer: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23675-why-we-need-to-eliminate-the-word-slut-from-our-vocabulary

    clearly advocates voluntary removal of this (and other SLURS) from our VOCABULARY... NOT from the dictionary. And you know that. If you're going to quote or paraphrase me, and least get the facts straight. I have never, nor will I ever, suggest that words be removed from the dictionary, or our language as it were. I simply advocate that we can choose to not use some of them. I'm as strong of an opponent to "thought police" as you'll ever find.

    People with above average intellect (which I would tend to think that you are sir) - should be developed enough to not have the need or desire to use four letter words and other degrading slurs as adjectives or nouns to describe their fellow human beings. Especially based solely on judgements of a persons personal choices.

    So, if I'm obese... and I CHOOSE to not make dietary and other life changes to lose weight... you reserve the RIGHT to call me a fat-ass? Is that what you're advocating, and the type of rude behavior that you'd like to pass along to future generations?

    But to your point... yes your "right to free speech" does allow for you to be hateful and judgmental towards others. Because God forbid, we wouldn't want to be decent to people that we in our own minds deem deviant or morally beneath us would we now...

    • I'm losing faith in my fellow GaGers to decipher the difference between DICTIONARY and VOCABULARY.

    • So... in an attempt to make it very CLEAR... I do NOT advocate the banning of ANY words, books, thoughts, opinions, or beliefs, and I never will.

      I NEVER suggested banning the word "slut".

      (voluntarily) Eliminate from your VOCABULARY

      is a COMPLETELY different thing than

      BANNING a word from our language. FFS!

      https://replygif.net/i/902.gif

    • -Says she'd never advocate to remove the word slut from our language.

      -Mytake is called "Why we need to eliminate the word slut from our vocabulary"

      www.sharegif.com/.../...y-lohanthe-parent-trap.gif

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The title of this topic is some semi-feminist creation. The word exists in the dictionary, it has a definition, anything/anybody that fits the description is a slut. Very simple and easy to follow, no?

    • Exactly!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • The original take made valid points, as does this one.

    Its certainly a word I'd not use lightly, but removing the word kind of just seems like a way of hiding the distinction between prudent and promiscuous, only to benefit the promiscuous.

    Kind of reminds me of all these takes I see saying "there is no such thing as virginity, so people have no reason to hold off on sex". Its all nonsense made to pressure the sexually cautious into feeling like abstaining from sex is a wasted effort that nobody will recognize or value.

  • LOL! I can't deny... it was hilarious to see that meme next to the other take about why we should eliminate the word 'slut' from our vocabulary.

    I agree with you. The word slut is no different from the term's 'bitch' and 'asshole'; a not so nice word used to describe not so nice behavior.

    • ...👀 why can't I English today? There's no apostrophe in 'terms'. Lulz

    • It is very conscientious to come back 6 hours later to make that correction.

    • lol ;p

  • Honestly, if you don't want to be called a slut, don't act like one.
    If it bothers you that much, don't do the behavior that warrants it.

    It's the same thing as calling someone fat, or really any other derogatory word.

    Is it something you should say to someone? No.
    Is it really hurtful and damaging to the person you're saying it to? Probably
    ... But is it true? Yes.

    It's not technically wrong to call someone a slut. And for those individuals that want to use the word, they should be able to. I'm guilty of slut shaming. Was it nice of me? No. But I thought it was the most accurate term for the person acting like a slut.
    Would I say it to their faces? No, not unless triggered. However, I'm certainly thinking it.

    • Also, for the sake of the argument, the definition of slut is "a person who has many casual sexual partners." If you have many sexual partners you are technically considered a slut, or as my mother would say "loosey goosey"

  • We live in a society that is over-sensitive.
    People need to understand that with every action, an opinion will be formulated about you.
    If I go around stealing peoples items... I will be called a thief.
    If I go around using foul language in every sentence... I will be called un-educated.
    If I go around sleeping with my entire town... I will be called a slut.
    Slut by definition is someone who has many casual partners.
    If I have slept with many men in a short time frame , how can I be outraged at the fact that I am viewed as such?
    People need to understand our world evolves around labels.
    If things are not labeled... then there would be no such thing as the human language.
    We need labels to be formed in order to identify , describe, and communicate.
    It's like pointing at a horse... and saying, "No, lets not call it a horse anymore because we don't like the sound of it."
    I read her myTake and I couldn't disagree with her opinion more.

    • When I was younger, I had too many casual partners in a short time frame. I qualified for the label. I have slowed down considerably. There are too many people getting offended. Framingham State University offered counselling to students who were upset by seeing a confederate flag. The University of Tennessee sends an advisory to staff instructing them to make sure that any holiday parties are not seen as Christmas parties. Who in the hell is in charge of the asylum?

    • Wow, that is ridiculous!

  • I'm probably going to have TWO sluts for Thanksgiving! (because you said someone could call biscuits "sluts")

    ... and I'm not going to go any further for the joke. I would be banned, I'm sure. ;)

    • I hope you enjoying those "sluts" with a little melted butter. I will be preparing Red Lobster cheddar garlic "sluts" for dinner tomorrow; yum!

    • I never got why so many people like pouring gravy on their "sluts." I used to have a "slut" with dinner, and the occasional "slut" when we were on vacation to British countries. British "sluts" are different from US "sluts," of course. But it wasn't healthy for me, so I had to cut down on how much I had "sluts." I'm reminded of a part of the dialogue between Alice in Wonderland and Humpty Dumpty. “When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’ Of course, Carroll was using the whole book as a writing in whimsy and false logic (part of what I enjoyed about the books).

  • You should read my response to the original take. I went over some of the structure as to why men aren't really called sluts that often.

    Oh, and I've found that gay guys ARE called sluts much more so than straight guys, which fits my idea that people call others sluts for indulging in something they feel they are either supposed to withhold (women), or have to strive and struggle to achieve (men).

    • I actually wanted to reply to you on the other MyTake, but the girl has me blocked so I can't even write something into the comments. Have you read "Sexual Economics for females" ? If not, you should google for the pdf. Its only 25 pages, but definitely worth the read.

  • I find most people who use the word enjoy using it. They enjoy the effect it has on people, these people usually for a certain type themselves, being often sexually ignored or a romantic failure. They are often angry at women for just having sex, resentment it often comes across as.

    I hate the word because of this website. No where have I ever seen such bile and hatred toward the opposite gender while obviously still coveting the hell out of them... No where have I seen the word slut used so often. It's almost like a club, calling Slut is their beacon. I think it needs to calm down, A LOT.

    • There are men on here who either openly subscribe to the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement, or who very obviously would feel at home at a MGTOW meeting. I sarcastically refer to them as MGTOCEM (Men Getting Their Own Coffee Every Morning,) Most of them have been rejected and have chosen to not get back on the horse but, instead, foolishly curse the horse trying to shame it into submission. I am not one of those men. And I do not overuse the word. But I do react when I hear other people trying to persuade me what to think, especially when it partakes of political correctness.

    • I know you don't and was surprised to see you had written this take, but then you often surprise me for better or worse :) MGTOW's... there's a joke of a movement, claim to want nothing to do with women yet obsess over them and how shit they are... me thinks the boy protest too much... Well, the wonderful thing about this free world is that you can use the word and others have the right to tell you how much they think you shouldn't... but you don't have to stop using it! I think it is often very misused though, people who have great difficulty in finding a sexual partner (most likely due to their revolting personality) seem to use it as a spiteful way of being horrid to those they want to fuck but who are fucking others and not them. Envy. Bitter envy of what they want and don't seem to be able to get.

    • Jealousy and bitterness motivate people to do awful things.

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  • I agree it's kinda annoying not being able to use it when it would clearly be a fitting description, instead you use promiscuous which essentially means the same thing, but I can't spell without google helping me

    I also agree with the author of the other take though, it's rarely used as intended and mostly as insult. I get called a slut all the time, I'm a virgin. Those guys know nothing about that, they just mean to be insulting.
    And it say a lot about our culture that having sex is seen as an insult. It might be quite a leap from using slut as insult to stoning women to death for having sex, but it's the same sentiment

  • Oh wow you are SUCH an intellectual, It's a slur and a very low class word at best, You don't need to walk around spewing the N-word and you don't need to walk around saying everyone who disagrees with you is a slut either. Because it isn't even a valid descriptor at this point, it's a way to childishly silence a woman who has a different opinion than you do. There are countless words nobody uses anymore, society didn't crumble, words become obsolete / unacceptable and it's a fact of life you must accept.

    • Do you like to see people doing anything they want without being judged?

    • @Goodwater101 Only If they are actually hurting someone, if a woman gets in a fight or cheats on someone, fine call her out. If she is just the kind of person who enjoys casual sex it is none of your business. Do you enjoy being a nosy controlling busybody? Do you have no life and the only fulfilling thing you can waste your time on is butting into other people's business and judging them?

    • 1. Your sarcasm is underwhelming and your opinion is in the minority of responders. 2. It may be a slur when you use the word but that does not mean that everyone intends the word as a slur. However, even if it is a "slur," it is a valid comment on someone's BEHAVIOR. 3. You are invoking the threat of being classed with racists to try to shame me into not using a word. And you don't want me to use the word because. . . it shames sluts. Not very consistent. 4. I never said that everyone who disagrees with me is a slut. Where did you get that? 5. Maybe it isn't a valid descriptor in your view of the world, but many of us view sexual promiscuity differently and, in our world. it is an excellent descriptor. 6. " It's a way to childishly silence a woman." Really? Are you telling me that sluts will shut up if I call them a slut? CONTINUED

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  • I don't have a problem with the word slut the way a lot of people do. It is more how the word is used that bothers me. I don't agree with shaming people for their sexuality. Slut or prude aren't really insults to me, they are really just ways of describing ones sexuality compared to your own similar to how straight and gay are used. Just like the word gay can be used as an insult, it isn't actually an insult unless it is used as an insult.

    Our country is so anti sex that any other word we could use besides slut to describe an openness to sex is still going to be taken as an insult, so I see no reason to run from the word and leave out with a gap in the language. Instead I think we need to stop trying to shame people over their sex lives, while at the same time realizing a lot of people may not want to date us if we sleep with hundreds of people ourselves.

    We are all entitled to our own sexuality, and to try to find a partner that is compatible to our personal views. Finding someone a bad match because you find them too slutty, or too prudish is simply a compatibility issue, and not an insult.

    If anything I would say the sluttier girls tend to be less judgmental about a man's sexuality, than the more prudish girls that think everything guys do is perverted and wrong. So many times I actually end up respecting the sluttier women more. At least I can hang out with them and make a sex joke and have her laugh without having to worry about offending her.

  • Why Virginia though? Do they refuse to acknowledge the word slut or something?

    • Google the expression, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" or just look at this link:

      www.newseum.org/exhibits/online/yes-virginia/

      It is a historical reference which you will find interesting if you enjoy history.

  • I actually agree. But I am conflicted.

    On the one hand the SJW in me knows that the word "slut" is heavily used to demean women. Even if they're not engaging in promiscuous behavior. And if they are, the label is slapped on to them, and sticks, more than to promiscuous men.

    On the other hand, I don't want people to be "censoring" everyone. I feel like there's a never ending list of words we can't say now. Some feminists wanted to ban "bossy", some big people want to ban "fat", and now people want "slut" to be banned. Bah. I don't like these words (except fat. I don't think it's bad), but that doesn't mean because I won't say it, that others shouldn't as well.

    I personally don't use group specific derogatory slurs - like bitch, slut, hoe, thot, fuckboy, nigga, spic, wetback, chink, cracker, honky, etc - when referring to or insulting someone. I'd rather insult you for who you are :)
    But I don't think they should be used. Though I prefer they were not.

    • Well, one of the problems is that the word "slut" has different meanings to different people and I don't use the word to mean anything other than "someone who has sex frequently and casually with numerous partners." It is no different than calling someone who weighs 350 lbs "fat." However, I have received a number of hostile responses, mostly from females, who tell me that I shouldn't be getting in girls' faces calling them a slut (I have never done that,) or that I shouldn't assume that a girl is a slut just because some other girls call her that name (I have not blindly believed what other people said since I was a little boy.) Black people can call either other racial slurs and it's okay because we believe they mean something different, but we assume that ANY Caucasian who uses the word intends it as a racial slur and is therefore a racist. Isn't THAT a form of racial prejudice?

    • I don't care who uses "nigga". I just said I don't and I'd prefer if no one did. Black or white. I don't think it should be banned. Neither slut. As much as I dislike the words. I prefer if they just became obsolete. Like "wench" or other words.

  • I think you may have missed the point of the take. The take was about why we should stop insulting and degrading people over their lifestyle choice, and not that we should ban people from using the word 'slut'.
    If a man or woman wants to sleep with 50 people, instead of 1, then it's between that person and the 50 others. Not you. If you don't like it, you don't need to get involved. It's pretty simple. Judge them if you like, but there is no logical reason to insult them because you don't like their lifestyle. May as well call gay people fags, because you don't want to fuck a man.

    The question this take raises is... why do you feel the need to make people feel bad about themselves? They aren't hurting anyone, so why is it so important for you, and people who think the same way as you do, to inform them that you think they're trash?
    You certainly have no obligation to stop doing these things, but there's also definitely no reason to do them, either.

    • I agree being 'promiscuous' doesn't really hurt anyone as long as it doesn't involve homewrecking. I believe that people should do what they want as long as it's not hurting anyone else.

    • @SakuraChii Exactly. And being a homewrecker doesn't make one a 'slut', but it does make one a terrible person. Slurs help no one, instead, name people as they are. Saying someone is promiscuous is not an insult. That's what they choose to do, and why people feel the need to deride them for that, I will never understand.

    • I did not miss the point of the Take. "We" do not degrade people over their lifestyle choices; they degrade themselves by their choices and we simply note their decision and its consequences. I'm not sure whether the author was suggesting that we shouldn't think of them as sluts or we simply should not call them sluts, but it did suggest that what I think is wrong. I never chase these people down and call them sluts to make them feel badly. I never approach a homosexual and call them fag. "If a man or woman wants to sleep with 50 people, instead of 1, then it's between that person and the 50 others. Not you. If you don't like it, you don't need to get involved." I agree with everything you said. But I still have the right to have an opinion, and to express my opinion, about things that I observe. "Why do you feel the need to make people feel bad about themselves?" I don't; that's just something that you made up to bolster your argument. I think you may have missed the point.

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  • AGREE!!! Trying to control words is just sick nonsense people have to REJECTS. Sluts exist. Removing the word does not change what they are.

    • Absolutely! Happy Thanksgiving!

    • @BrunetteNYC radfems always trying to force an thought police on other people.

  • I completely agree. It's a word, and like any other it should be used correctly - and when it is used correctly - should be accepted as such.

    No one is saying we should go around bashing people... but 'banning' a word - what? We don't live in the age of censorship... So please... grow up. - to people who think certain words should be banned.

    • Not sure if you read my take or not... but clearly I never suggested banning words from our language. Only choosing to not use this (and other) slurs as a part of our personal vocabularies. I never saw anyone else suggest we ban any words either... but I certainly saw a lot of people misinterpret what I wrote as such. If I had it to do over... I would dumb thr title down to sometbing like " please stop and think before you call someone a slut".

    • @CheerGirl38139 I didn't read it, but I saw only the title... It does say to ban the word... so... that's what I went with. Renaming the article with its true name isn't 'dumbing it down' - it's making your title a factual one.

    • It is not anout the word. It's about what's behind it. It's about using the word to try to shame and make people comply to a behavior that the person saying the word deems appropriate.

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  • "Sluts" have always existed in the history.

    Sluts are promiscuous men and women. And yes many use words against promiscuous men in the cultured families. Man whore, womanizer, etc etc. Promiscuous men are looked down on between the cultured people and families just like promiscuous women.

    So the first thing to understand 1. It is not about women it is about the society.

    There is no "slut-shaming" as a war on women, it never existed. There is a negative mentality towards promiscuity in both men and women and there should always be.

    Promiscuity has many short term and long term harms. Promiscuity + poor sex education and health is the mother of all STDs. All promiscuous people do not get STDs as they might care about protection in wealthier countries, but all of them have a much higher chance to catch one.

    For this single and very important health issue it should forever be negative in the society, so the people who want to engage in risk-free sexual activities can choose their mate carefully and can minimize their chance of getting diseases.

    It also causes many long-term emotional problems for the people engaging in it. Many of the long term emotional effects of promiscuity show themselves in their late 30's and 40's, when promiscuous men and women will have problems in forming a stable relationship.

    Promiscuity also has a great effect on beginning and the success of long-term relationships. And marriage is a long term relationship. That is why the more promiscuous a woman is, the less her chances will be in marriage, success of marriage, and having a healthy family.

    So, men who want family, should have, and have the right to have a source to identify these women from women who were not promiscuous, to be able to be selective and maximize their chances of having a successful marriage.

    The negativity of promiscuity is a very important factor of culture, in the entire health of the society.

    In our society now this is being said: "Monogamy isn’t the norm in the animal kingdom, by far. So why do we so hungrily desire this form of relationship?"

    And promiscuity is thus glorified by the liberals as a natural “liberating” behaviour.

    This is called "appeal to nature" in logic, and is a fallacy. Our society and civilization was made as a means to maximize our health and long livity. To minimize our excesses and defects in all behaviours, including sexual behaviour, minimizing the dangers and harms coming from excesses and defects.

    ...

    • The claim also is a lie, that monogamy is not a natural mating behaviour existing in animals. Many animals like Wolves, Gibbons, Bald eagles, Swans, Prairie voles etc. stay monogamous for life. And these animals, wolves for example, have this sexual behavior as a means to create a stable risk-free environment for living and breeding, like humans. So we can consider promiscuity an unnatural excessive behavior in humans, not monogamy. The women who get depressed being called slut because of their promiscuity, are struggling in between two cultures. The old culture of moderation, and the new culture of excess and defect. They probably still exercise the thought of getting married and having a long term relationship, so when they get called a slut or names to be identified as a promiscuous woman, they find the culture is automatically separating them from the rest of women, lowering their chances of having that dream of theirs after they had their promiscuity in their youth. ...

    • That is based on a very incorrect hot-headed mentality about sexual health, emotional health, society, and family, and the effects of promiscuity on all of them, that makes these women start this move. They should choose, and choose decisively, one, or the other. Family or promiscuity, 1-2 long term relationship over a lifetime, or 15 short term relationships in a 10 year period of their lives. You cannot have both of it together. An attempt of mixing these two cultures up, will result in 1. having more and more broken families 2. single parents 3. children of divorce, fatherless or motherless children 4. More violence and psychological problems in children 5. more welfare-dependent households 6. more STDs’ 7. rise of poverty as a result of all of these. 8. Growth of the government and loss of liberty We are already having these in west as a result of 30-50 years of glorifying unfettered sexual liberation and undermining nuclear family. Single mothers, divorce rates...

    • ... and welfare dependency is already bankrupting west. We can’t have more of them with wholeheartedly embracing a culture of promiscuity.

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  • All true. Lol next people will be looking to ban the words rapist, wife beater and paedophile so as not shame people.

  • This is completely stupid. In every way.

  • Comparing the two takes, you are far more debatable and level headed. I'm glad to see opinions that aren't fueled by emotional and personal angst.

    And to think, I almost skipped this one.

  • Well written. Off the mark entirely but well written.

    • Well any word can be used to attack or shame someone. I could say people who like summer are idiots so anyone who's an idiot to me I'll call summer. Any word can be used as a attack so should we not use any words? Everybody knows slut is used incorrectly sometimes. She still is a "thought police" and wants us to stop using the word completely. That's not removing it from the dictionary but that's still removing it from the language we speak.

    • People are allowed to use any word they want and however they want to use it. I hear people use the word correctly just as much as I hear them use it incorrectly. I mean this type of logic is foolish. It's like saying "Well since this man killed someone maybe we should get rid of all men." Just because a few people misuse the word doesn't mean we should all not use it.

    • @Joc4Position, how bout just a little human decency toward one another?

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