Sexual Relationships
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Guys, Settle Down: You Won’t Be Replaced by a Vibrator

The first time a girlfriend whipped out a sex toy during foreplay, I was stoked. I mean, in the porns I watch, it’s hot as hell when a chick goes at it solo.

And now it was about to happen to me, in real life.

(Side note: The following picture may or may not depict the toy featured in this story.)

Guys, Settle Down: You Won’t Be Replaced by a Vibrator

The experience was not disappointing. Quite the opposite.

So when I heard a buddy say he was intimidated by his girl’s vibrator (not in those words, of course, but it was fairly easy to read between the lines), a huge question mark formed over my head.

What in the world could be intimidating about bringing sex toys into the bedroom (or kitchen or den or…)? They’re called “toys,” for God’s sake. They are things to be played with.

I pressed and bugged him, and finally he came out with it: “I read an article that said vibrators can make chicks lose sensitivity…and she won’t get off with a dick again.”

First Point: Don’t Believe Everything You Read

It’s been said for years now that a vibrator can cause a woman to “lose her orgasm.” (Which would completely suck, but onward...) On the other hand, it’s been said for years now that vibrators do zero harm.

Guys, Settle Down: You Won’t Be Replaced by a Vibrator

So which is the truth?

The Daily Dot did some research earlier this year to find out. Short story: There is no evidence that vibrators can cause a chick’s lady parts to become desensitized.

Second Point: Grow a Pair

If you’re so insecure that you think a thing that runs on batteries will steal your girlfriend away, you probably don’t need a girlfriend to begin with. You probably need a therapist.

Guys, Settle Down: You Won’t Be Replaced by a Vibrator

Grow a pair of metaphorical nuts (assuming you have physical ones—if you're missing a testicle for some awful reason...I'm sorry)—and some confidence while you’re at it.

And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t let a piece of plastic (or metal or glass—whatever she’s into) have power over you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here is an important point that most guys don't consider. Most guys have masturbated but, when you get a hand job from a girl, it feels SO MUCH BETTER!!! If a girl is content with masturbating with a vibrator, she wouldn't be inviting you into the bedroom. When you use that vibrator on her, it will feel very different than when she uses it on herself. It will feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!

    You can also do things with the vibrator that she cannot or would not do herself, like. . . using the vibrator on her nipples, or using the vibrator on her clit while you also lick her clit, or switching the vibrator from her clit to her anus just as she is starting to orgasm.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally don't use any vibrators.
    But I have heard some men feeling as if they don't satisfy their girlfriend (which is why she owns once in the first place).
    I've even seen men that are ok with it tell their girlfriend the appropriate size to get.
    I mean come on,
    If she wasn't contented with you she wouldn't be with you.
    It's just an added sensation and that is all.

    • *one

    • I bought my x her first vibrator. She never owned one prior to that and she was 30. It wa really funny, because she loved it so much, she bought this padded box for it and named it. But I never felt threatened by it. Hell, I used it on her many times.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 17

  • My husband encourages me to use my vibrator because it's a turn on to him. He loves using it on me.

  • Okay... firstly no a vibe isn't going to replace men... however of course its true that excessive use of an overly strong vibrater can leed to reduced sensation. The same as excessive masterbation can reduce stimulation for a guy. The same way you arnt constantly aware of your own clothes... untill you wear a style which sits slightly different.
    I raise it not to disagree with you, but to stress that this is something which can happen. Excess is bad. A few weeks without suck activity can usually restore most of the feeling.

  • Or--or--ORRRR... you could use the vibrator on her yourself.

  • And at the same time I have heard of women criticizing guys for owning fleshlights because those ''dehumanize women hur dur''.
    Yes and a massive dildo that no man could ever live up to doesn't?

  • it's true that vibrators can cause sensitivity though, especially if their used very often or simply if their high powered. I've gone numb for days after using 2 different ones in the past.

    • Damn--that blows. But from what I read, it doesn't look like it can cause any permanent damage/desensitization.

    • no, probably not permanent, but even a couple days is seriously upsetting. just imagine your penis being numb that long. not really worth it

    • I use one on my frenulum sometimes. It's true. It can cause a "death grip" type situation.

  • I was never even aware guys were worried about this...

    • Because we shouldn't be. (But for whatever reason, there are some guys out there who are worried AF.)

  • I wish it could replace me. Then I could sleep without feeling guilty after a long, hard day of manwork and having no energy.

  • Guys fantasize about being able to fully satisfy their girl but when she breaks out the sex toys that fantasy disappears.
    Its loosely the same as how girls feel when they find out their boyfriend watches pornagraphy.

  • I would like to know what women look forward to the real thing versus the dildo

  • Nice take my friend

  • EXPENDABLE.

  • Yeah! Vibrators are not walking-talking-living ATM machines either!

  • I feel you only ok with vibrators cuz you packing average or more heat you wouldn't say the same thing if you were smaller it's always the person who knows the least about something who says get over it and grow pairs cuz they don't know how you feel and never will

  • What's to stop her from using it instead of you

  • A vibrator is a far too easy option - a quick fix, all about an orgasm, nothing "intimate" or fun. Way too many women "need" a vibrator to get off, because they've become used to it - no wonder a guy has no chance. So exactly what you say, a guy does get replaced by a vibrator.

    My girlfriend tried to introduce a mutual vibration thing just 2 months in (after having fairly basic "get to know you\get used to" you sex) - we hadn't even tried to do anything fun, and bang, she buys a mutual vibrator for Christmas. I immediately knocked it back - not because i'm intimidated, but because we hadn't even tried to have fun yet. 3 months in, we're still going great. We've not discussed it since, but it will be the same response - way too early, not necessary.

    Toys are something that should only be introduced or discussed after you've had a red hot go at everything else, and looking to go to another (mutual) level - not an immediate thing to simply press a button. It turns sex simply into a task of getting her\his rocks off. Yawn.

    All those people telling OP (on this and most other pages) to "get over it", "man up" etc - take a good look at yourself. Maybe he doesn't watch porn while in a relationship? Out of respect, or "building up". (I don't).
    Or comparing his hand to a vibrator - a woman is capable of self-stimulation by hand, just like a man. Women can watch porn, just like a man. Men can use toys, just like a woman.

    Don't set the example that women must use toys "to be normal". Being normal is having a strong and intimate bond with your chosen partner, not with whore toys.

  • Sounds good and all to tell us to man up. But if I could come day in and day out with a fleshlight while the ladyfriend's pussy felt "good" But no cigar. It would go about as well as you could imagine.

    Heck, she gives me shit when she thinks I take too long to come "because it means she can't pleasure me".

    I always get a kick out of the 'fragile male ego' in the bedroom.

  • If a woman whips out a huge, monster dildo, then it's pretty plain to see that she's not satisfied with my penis.

  • I once heard that a girl used her vibrator so many times that she "numbed" her clit. That's what happens when you're really lonely.

  • Why not use the vibrator in play? Assuming it's a clit vibrator, you can hold it on her while you fuck her. Guaranteed orgasms.

  • Good, I'm relieved now :P

    • Glad I could ease your fears.

    • Thanks man ;)

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