Love is in the air, But it's a lonely time for a lot of guys out there. If you can't find that special girl by Valentine's day then consider these great alternatives.
1. Become Bisexual
This is a rather extreme measure, But it will greatly improve your dating pool and chances for love.
Not for everyone, Obviously. But it is an option so there it is. No disrespect to actual bisexuals out there.
2. Your Hand
I know, Duh.
But it has to go on the list because your hand is your constant companion through thick and thin. It will never judge or reject you, And you can make it as tight as you want.
And there will never be any shame or awkwardness between you and your hand, No matter what acts you make it perform.
Lube it up for maximum traction!
3. Your Own Virtual Girlfriend
An inexpensive girlfriend sim that comes with an AI and lots of upgrades. The more you 'play' with it, The more it will learn about you and become more personalized.
A lot of options, Virtual boobs, virtual conversation, And virtual love <3
I have never personally seen the thing. But from what I've read, it's not perfect. Only has about 100 phrases it can say and it's voice is robotic and creepy.
4. RealDoll
A lot of companies out there claim to make the best sex doll, But this one is the real deal! And for a mere $6,500- $10,000 you can own your very own ultimate love doll.
These things are freakishly realistic.
5.The Girlfriend Lap Pillow
Sleep in style, I guess.
6. Roxxxy the Robot Girlfriend
Hustler's answer to the RealDoll, This one talks. When they make one that cooks and cleans then it will be the perfect sex bot.
7. Various Other Sex Toys Aimed at Men
Whack off toys galore!
8. The Real Deal
Nothing will ever be better than a real woman, Gotta love them. <3
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Most Helpful Girl
Anonymous
+1 y
My husband has a pocket pussy and won't be home for valentines day so I told him to take her out to dinner and not forget to light candles. Lmao
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Knuckles77
+1 y
Why does he have one? You 2 are married. I'd think you'd be having regular sex, no?
OpenWine
+1 y
The fleshlight feels better? Hoho 😂
Opinion Owner
+1 y
Actually it was bought as a gag gift. But either way it does get used because he works all over the country and is gone for months at a time. Wouldn't you jack off if you went from sex twice a day to nothing?
haha interesting post, i would say buying a sex toy would be the best option for the sexual satisfaction.
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Knuckles77Xper 5
+1 y
Of these #2 is the only real option. Also these only replace a girlfriend in a sexual manner.
These things are just no substitute for real girlfriends which may include:
Spending you're hard earned $ or trying to, needless drama, ball busting, where are you and who are you with? calls and texts, nagging and whining, PMS week, wasting your time, lies, treachery, deception, manipulation, and infidelity, where is this relationship going? type questions, guilt trips, unreasonable demands and requests, possible insatiable need for constant attention, drunk girlfriend drama, catty BS with other girls you get sucked into despite your best efforts, miscellaneous BS, sexploitation, jealous fits, a need to "change" you, attempts to force you to watch romantic comedies or other highly feminized and unmanly activities, ceaseless interruptions to watching sports or guy time, attempts to move various items into your place and invade your turf without you knowing (tooth brushes, clothes suddenly in top drawer, make up, tampons ect), staying with you while on the DL setting up things with a back up guy, false pregnancy scares (real or feigned), listening to her ramble on and on the second you get home from work when you just want a beer and to chill before that starts, withholding sex to get what she wants or as a form of punishment leaving you back at #2, threats and ultimatums, over emotional and borderline pshycotic behavior, giving you the clap from her infidelity, constant "hints" about desired Christmas or B Day presants, backseat driving, requests to pick up girlie items on the way home from the store, and the silent treatment.
Yep, these are no substitutes for a real girlfriend alright lol!!!
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YourFutureExMaster
+1 y
"Real deal" as substitute? You mean prostitute?
OMG it rhymed 😂
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loneriderExplorer
+1 y
Am I the only one who finds this pathetic? Well.. if it was meant in a serious way.
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Possible_MateXper 6
+1 y
Haha great take, so entertaining! You can never go wrong with good ol Jill 😉
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Zombie-Killa
+1 y
That's really cute :D And thanks so much!
Possible_Mate
+1 y
Thanks, and your stuff is always fun to read!
Zombie-Killa
+1 y
You are very welcome, And I'm glad :)
ObscuredBeyondGuru
+1 y
Bisexuality is never love. I knew a bi girl once. I wouldn't call anything she did to anyone love. Narcissism, maybe. Most of those other substitutes don't appeal at all.
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XavHD
+1 y
So you knew a bi girl once and because she was a douche you stereotype all bisexuals as narcissistic people who are not capable of love? The lgbtphobia on this site is astonishing...
ObscuredBeyond
+1 y
@XavHD: The two practices are categorically impossible of being the same. The fact that she was a douche is not relevant. But yes, she was a douche.
abundantlyrichMaster
+1 y
People with mental illness needs that if it saves them from self harm
0000
Zombie-Killa
+1 y
Needs what?
KBob93Guru
+1 y
This was gold ♡
2200
Zombie-Killa
+1 y
Thanks so much! ♡
Nik1hilMaster
+1 y
Unique take, But I don't agree with anything except the hand part and the real deal part,
I can use the virtual friend too but as an assistant not to attach my lust to machines
1100
Righttobeararms83Explorer
+1 y
Thank god I found somebody. I actually refuse to masturbate anymore.
0100
RealTruthSpeaker500Xper 4
+1 y
I've tried options 1-7 as of yet, hoping to work my way towards getting #8 done before I hit my 70's.
What about dudes in prison? I'm pretty most are stright but know it's bubba or nothing.
Benk111
+1 y
@Knuckles77 have you ever been to prison or known anybody in prison
Knuckles77
+1 y
No. Common knowledge bro.
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Benk111
+1 y
@Knuckles77 well your wrong
Knuckles77
+1 y
Ok then, well if I'm wrong you should have no problem proving me so by showing me which gene is responsible for both bisexuality and homosexuality. Not with junk since and wild speculation, but good solid research that's not a theory, but rather solid proof. You can't provide it. Know why? Doesn't exist. You must know from personal experience being so bold as to tell me I'm wrong then. You must be either bisexual or have done time.
Benk111
+1 y
@Knuckles77 the reason straight people rape other straight people in prison is because there lonley and bad. Also what research do you have to prove Your point.
Knuckles77
+1 y
Your own words. They chose bisexuality. It they're straight and like girls but rape and have sex with guys, that being bisexual. Most weren't bisexual before prison or there is at least no evidence to prove that. So, clearly under adversity they chose that. So, they weren't born that way.
Benk111
+1 y
@Knuckles77 this is a pointless argument
CBryanXper 6
+1 y
#8 is the only one that will reject you.
0400
Zombie-Killa
+1 y
Yeah, Them are the breaks :(
Joc4Position
+1 y
Turn it up turn it up turn it uppppp
Anonymous
+1 y
Fembois
0100
Anonymous
+1 y
Yay for bisexuals ^__^
I'm glad there are so many useful substitutions. Hopefully the guys who only want women for sex, and dont like "dealing with all that bullshit", that comes from basic human connections in serious relationships that require emotional maturity, will find their best answer here. The possibilities, guys! I encourage you all to go for it, and leave the good guys behind for the women looking for substance :)
You can't become bi. Others have addressed that though. Either way, I do think same-sex couples have their advantages, especially given the socialization of gender in our society.
But anyway, get your rocks off however you please. Happy jacking... ;D
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