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Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

How it all began...

We’ve all been there. You start off by looking up song lyrics…and somehow, you end up reading about how Justin Bieber solved a Rubik’s cube under two minutes. Last night, I was watching Chelsea Handler’s four-part documentary on love, race, technology, and drugs entitled “Chelsea Does”. This seemingly innocuous documentary sent me on a treacherous tab-opening tailspin.

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

For those who are unfamiliar with Chelsea Handler, there are a few things you need to know. She is an irreverent comedienne who has a Mexican little person sidekick on her talkshow…who she once dressed up as Hitler…just for shits and giggles. Basically, Chelsea Handler has no filter and is proud of it.

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

During her segment on love and marriage, Chelsea interviewed Noel Biderman, the CEO of Ashley Madison… and all-around douchebag. Take a look at this fool:

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

Ashley Madison is a social networking community that serves people in committed relationships who still want to date around. Their tagline: “Life is short. Have an affair.” Who better to interview on a segment about love and marriage than this dude?

Skeevy is the first word that came to mind as I heard what Noel Biderman had to say about his line of work, which seems to encourage infidelity (though he strongly believes his site actually doesn’t do that…right.) I had never heard of Ashley Madison before and so I made a mental note to look it up later.

Here are some Ashley Madison ads. The epitome of subtlety.

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

An Ode to Wikipedia...

Tab 1: Ashley Madison

The Ashley Madison site, a Canadian venture, was established in 2002. It is pretty much the best, most popular site of its kind…congratulations, Mr. Biderman. Anyway, in 2015 a group of hackers known as “The Impact Team” hacked into the site and stole personal information about the users and intercepted some of the CEO’s own messages.

Tab 2: Ashley Madison Data Breach

“The Impact Team” demanded that the Ashley Madison site be shut down or else user data would be published online- which is what happened eventually. Many users received extortion emails, demanding money lest their online exploits be revealed to their spouses and families. Interestingly, some of the users who were exposed had actually paid a $19 fee earlier on to have their information deleted from the site. Clearly…the deletions were not carried out, which made the situation much worse for Ashley Madison and Mr. Biderman. Approximately one month after the hacking, the CEO stepped down “in the best interest of the company.”

Sigh...

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

Tab 3: Dark Web

The users’ personal information was uploaded onto a Dark Web site. As a technologically un-savvy person, I instantly wondered…what the fuck is the Dark Web? The Dark Web is a group of sites run by servers which have their IP addresses hidden. Therefore, you don’t really know who is actually running a given site… and these sites cannot be found through a simple Google search. Many Dark Web sites utilize an encryption tool known as Tor. For Lord of the Rings fans out there, Tor is like the one ring. You use Tor and it hides your identity and scrambles your location.

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

Now, to access a site that runs through Tor, a user also has to employ Tor. The user’s IP address goes through several levels of encryption, just as the actual site’s IP address goes through several levels of encryption. Both the user and the site host are invisible and untraceable for the most part- an important factor to consider when posting things that might piss off very important people (e.g. 2014 Celebrity Photo Leaks, also known as “The Fappening”). So aside from internet vigilantes posting user data from pro-infidelity sites, what else do people use the Dark Web for?

Tab 4: Illegal and Ethically Disputed Pornography

With all the secrecy created through Tor, it isn’t surprising that some pretty shady crap goes down on the Dark Web. According to a 2014 study done at the University of Portsmouth (England), the most searched item on the Dark Web was child pornography, followed by black markets which involve the selling or buying of drugs, weapons, counterfeit currency, forged documents, stolen credit card information, and more.

Disturbingly enough… there also seems to be an interest in the sexualized torture and killing of animals on the Dark Web. WHAT?

TIME OUT.

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

It was at this moment of my internet journey that I felt that perhaps it would be best to just…stop. Alas, curiosity got the best of me, as it always does, and I opened Pandora’s tab.

Tab 5: Sexualized Torture and Killing of Animals: Crush Fetish

I can’t paraphrase this. Here is Wikipedia’s take on crush fetishes.

“A crush fetish is a fetish and a paraphilia in which one is sexually aroused when someone crushes objects, food, and sometimes small animals (frequently insects) with their body, usually under their foot, or when crushed oneself. The term soft crush refers to the more common fetish surrounding videos involving inanimate objects (such as food) or small invertebrates (e.g. insects, snails, worms, arachnids) being crushed, while the term hard crush refers to such videos involving larger animals with vertebrae, and arguably more pain-susceptible animals (e.g. reptiles, birds, mammals). The preference could be barefoot, high-heels, flip flops, and so on, depending on the fetishist. Most soft crush fetishists prefer to distinguish themselves from hard crush fetishists, believing that crush films with larger animals give the entire group a bad label.”

WHAT! Let’s keep reading…

“On November 28, 2010, bill H.R. 5566, which prohibits interstate commerce in animal crush films, was passed by the House of Representatives and the Senate, and on December 9th, the bill was signed by President Obama becoming the Animal Crush Video Prohibition Act of 2010. On September 8, 2015, a Houston woman pled guilty in nation's first federal animal crush video case.”

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia

President Obama knows about crush fetishes?! That probably shouldn’t amuse me as much as it does… And what exactly did that Houston woman do? At this point of my tab-opening experience, I was at a crossroads. Should I find out which animal got squashed in Texas? Or should I explore one of the other paraphilias listed under the “see also” section?

I decided on the latter. Squashing animals just isn’t my cup of tea. I’m vanilla like that.

Tab 6: Vorarephilia

Any guesses?

Vorare: To devour
Philia: Love

Vorerephilia is… “the erotic desire to be consumed by, or sometimes to personally consume, another person or creature. Since vorarephilic fantasies cannot be acted out in reality, they are often expressed in stories or drawings shared on the Internet.”

“The fantasy usually involves the victim being swallowed whole, though occasionally the victims are chewed up, and digestion may or may not be included. Vore fantasies are separated from sexual cannibalism because the living victim is normally swallowed whole. Sometimes the consumers are human, but anthropormorphized animals, dragons, and enormous snakes also appear frequently in these fantasies. After consumption, the enlarged belly of the consumer is often described with great care.”

Tumbling Down the Rabbit-Hole: From Chelsea Handler to Vorarephilia


And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I went from watching Netflix to…learning more about the very interesting, if not psychologically disturbing, people I share the planet with. Opening tabs is a serious addiction… I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to fully recover, but I have to at least try. So here goes:

My name is Karahiri and I’m an addict.

2 2

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just informing you not bashing your take..
    It was a good read. However the info on the darknet was scrambled and wrong. Other than that, good read. Now for the explanation tor isn't the end all be all. There are many programs including I2P, Freenet, Freepto, Whonix, iprediaOS... the list goes on hell you and i could even access it through command or terminal right now. As for the layers of encryption you can go up to about 256 bit or close to military grade encryption; meaning if someone even tried to brute force it they would be fucked for the next couple thousand years, that isn't the only way to get to you however. Now onion routing is implemented by encryption in the application layer of a communication protocol stack, nested like the layers of an onion. Tor encrypts the data, including the destination IP address, multiple times and sends it through a virtual circuit comprising successive, randomly selected Tor relays. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tor_(anonymity_network))
    You said it sends this data through multiple encryptions while true that isn't the main thing it does. What happens when you request to be admitted, to say, youtube through tor is that your ip+mac-ip runs through as many possible nodes and networks around the world with the exit node officially connecting to that place establishing a secure connection and masking your IP as well as mac ip. Now the thing is, tor DOES NOT protect against hacking, i would not rely on it in the slightest.

    As for the crush fetish/porn/CP and other gross or bad things make up for only a portion of the dark web. The reason it was created is that journalists, government officials, CIA, military all use tor or mutated versions of it as a means to mask their personal info and communicate via secure irc channels. Tor was surprisingly created by our very own US Navy, you can read about it here.(https://www.torproject.org/about/torusers.html.en)

    I run one of the 7000 nodes for tor, i am allowed to browse the traffic coming in and going out, however i cannot see where it goes.

    If i were to give a newbie advice.
    1) Close all browser tabs before opening your tor program or whatever you are using>reason being is they create a backdoor for anyone wanting to get into your system.
    2) Put sticky paper over your webcam, doesn't matter how you do it really just as long as nothing is legible
    3) Ensure all desktop firewalls are up and ready to rock. If you run a Mac use avast... its free. If you use linux you should know this already. And if you own windows you are shit outta luck.

    • The thing is you will never be fully capable from stopping someone from coming on your network no matter how many barriers, you just want to make it a pain in the ass for them to do so.

      Anyways if you wanna check out something cool this is a cyber security threat map that shows all attacks going on around the world in real time. https://map.norsecorp.com/v1/
      those quick moving raindrops are all ddos dos attacks ranging from minor to major.

    • I used Wiki and PC Advisor to understand how Tor and the Dark Web works. What I wrote is a tiny, reader-friendly snapshot. I will defer to your knowledge about both! I don't think I totally understood everything you wrote though :x

    • NooooooO!!! Oooooo!!! im giving uppp

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh, yeah, I'll schedule 20 minutes of distraction time lifehacker.com/.../batch-distractions-to-increase-efficiency and I'll wind up with 40-50 open tabs. LOL Luckily I read fast.

    • lmao! batch distractions sounds like a good idea... just... hard to implement :p

    • Yea, it can be hard to implement, just like other changes are hard to make. Definitely helps though.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 17

  • Best My Take☆☆☆☆☆ That dark web is really creepy!

    • Thanks! And I totally agree... ... :x

  • Informative and funny, Like watching an episode of the daily show. That's the highest compliment I can give.

    Awesome myTake :)

    • Yay!!! Glad you liked it! :)

  • And that's why I keep the mature content filter activated on DeviantArt.

    When searching for a Filipina stock model that would be a good cosplay base for a character in a book I'm conceptualizing, it's not uncommon with the filter off to instead of finding a useful image, finding some image of a naked Asian woman in a hotel flashing her ass at the camera. I can handle that, no big deal. But... holy frog guts, Batman; all the T-Rexes eating pinup models! Where did those come from, and what do they have anything to do with my initial search?

    Simply typing "guillotine" with the filter off might instead yield dozens of pinups being devoured by dinosaurs, as well as a lot of guro fetish that I didn't need to know actually exists.

    Trust me, keep the filter on. I don't care how cute the naked women are; it's not worth the stupid T-Rexes and decap blowjob insanity.

    How that stuff is okay under DA's content policy, but a graphic photo of the missionary position is banned, makes no sense to me at all. Then again, they make exceptions all the time to the no-porn rule. It seems as long as it involves lesbians, that somehow justifies everything. Pretty messed-up.

    • WTF. guro fetish... is... insane... :x :x :x :x i wish i could unsee that.

  • Woa... that dark web stuff is horrible. There are some weird folks out there doing some nasty things.

    Anyway i thought you write well, you should write more. :)

    • It really is a scary place... :x Thanks! :)

  • I wikibinge from time to time.

    Upon the death of Andy Griffith, my wikibinge went something like this:

    Looked up Andy Griffith which led to
    -The Andy Griffith Show which led to
    -Desilu Productions which led to
    -Star Trek which led to
    -Star Trek season one which led to
    -City on the Edge of Forever which led to
    -The Brown Bess musket which led to
    -the Kentucky long rifle which led to
    -Daniel Boone which led to
    -The Cherokee Nation which led to
    -Indian casinos
    -The Morongo People which led to
    -Spanish Missions in California which led to
    -The Portola Expedition which led to
    -nearly an entire Saturday wasted. ;)

    • LOL. and do you remember what you learned from each of those tabs, or... was it more like you were drawn from topic to topic, but haven't really put any information into long term memory?

  • I once went on a similar journey when I first discovered 4chan all those years ago. Clicking all that shit wasn't wise, but I wasn't to know it'd be like half inching Aztec gold.

    • what's half inching mean? :o

    • half inch = pinch = steal.

    • Pirates of the Caribbean reference? :p

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  • you're a good writer, also there's no way Justin Beiber can solve a rubix cube in under 2 min 😑

    The same thing happens to me but I feel like it prevents me from fully grasping the topic since ill get dustracted and open a new link before finishing the one I was already on. Like ill look something up and halfway down I'll see a term and be like "hmm what does that mean" and then im on a new tab. The process repeats until I have like 20 tabs open and at the end I have more questions than answers 😠

    Also applies to youtube videos and clicking the suggested videos at the end. Eventually you'll end up watching something completely unrelated to the video you first searched.

    I guess the anime Attack on Titan would be like porn for vorerephiliacs lol

    • Thank you! :) ... and... he totally can :x :x :x It's TRUE! And I totally agree about how it prevents us from actually processing the information and putting it into long term memory. I look up SO MANY THINGS over the course of a day, but most of that doesn't go into my memory. It's like I need to quickly sate my curiosity and move on... I think it's related to how the human attention span has been decreasing over the years to only about 3 minutes now :( And trust me... I too have found myself in the scary part of youtube after clicking on the side videos lmao. I was too scared to google images and videos for vorarephilia... I just don't understand how that happens lol. Thanks for your comment :)

    • I bet he just takes all the stickers off 😑 Its so frustrating especially when you end up looking something up that you know youve searched before but forgotten. I really wish I could have an edetic memory 😠 Have you ever watched Attack on Titan? Its an anime about giants who eat people 😜

    • Nope! There's video footage of him doing it properly :o ME TOO! I knew this girl in college who had edetic memory. I was so jealous. :( I actually have never seen that... :o But you're probably right about the vorarephiliacs being into it :p

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  • In other words another horrible person who is a celebrity, yeah about 80% of all celebrities are like that, and then you just went from one disturbing thing to the other, gotcha.

    • Well, I think many of us kind of... look up one thing and then that snowballs into something totally different. I wanted to share my experience, from watching that documentary and learning more about one of the companies discussed in it to reading about some interesting paraphilias. I hope, at the very least, it was an entertaining read. If not, sorry I wasted your time.

  • Great Take, and very interesting story :D

    • Thank you :)

    • You're welcome ;)

  • That Ashley Madison breach was so funny tho. It's like well damn, they messed with the WRONG WOMAN!!! lmao

    • i wonder if it actually was a woman though :o what if it was a guy? a guy who was in love with a woman who was being cheated on? :o :o or even a child of one of these people!

    • Yeah for real. Lots of morbid stories surfaced from it actually like the preacher that was caught and committed suicide. I guess in a twisted way the had it coming to them, but I don't know, really tragic nonetheless.

    • i know :o 3 suicides... kind of unclear if the breach and the deaths were related... but who knows, might have been :x

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  • Lol, I go on wikibinges too. I got nailed by that Ashley Madison hack. Some dicks demanded they wanted 2 bitcoins or they would spill the beans. I was like a) who gives a fuck and b) I used a fake email address, so they had nothing. But yeah that was interesting.

    • Whoa! An Ashley Madison veteran! lol. did your SO already know about it?

    • I was on there for 2 months about 2 years ago. Ashley Madison was my first lesson in many things. to summarise: men are up against it in the dating world! But no, my SO didn't know. I had no success on there. I had success on adult friend finder and my so knows about that.

  • Very interesting myTake. Cured my boredom today.

    • lmao glad to hear that :D

  • Sometimes it really scares me how messed up people are. Hiding on the Dark Web doesn't eliminate the problem, we need to expose these sickos.

    • I'm not sure if exposure would make them stop though :x

    • This way we can address the problems they pose instead of pretending they aren't there.

  • There are people in this world who need to get eaten by giant mythological monsters to cum. That's the more silly/fascinating one.

    The murder of small animals to cum though... how awful and sad. To think they actually needed to pass legislation for this.

    • I know. I just can't believe it became such a problem that the President had to get involved :( It just seems to strange. Terrorism, illegal immigration, abortion, right to bear arms... and... the crush fetish. lol.

  • lol nice

    • Thank you :)

  • "If cheating on your taxes if okay so is.. Ashley Madison"
    There is so much wrong with that sentence

    • I.. so agree. their ads are like... hitting you in the face with a hammer.

  • your article reminds me of the comments on the randomly weird youtube videos:

    "on the dark side of youtube again... how'd i get here."

    interesting fact about ashley madison. i don't recall the exact numbers, but approx 1million+ accounts were men. Approx 20k accounts were women. Of those 20k, only 1,000 would check their inbox regularly. i reckon the cheating conveyed by the media was absurdly exaggerated.

    I suspect a lot of the female accounts were pre-planted to attract men, a common practice on dating apps. In one extreme case i recall someone commenting about stumbling upon the pictures of his diseased sister. impervious.

    p. s. you write so eloquently
    p. s. s innocuous is one of my favorite words =D

    • that's exactly what it felt like yesterday lmao... like i entered the dark side of wiki :p so basically... it was mainly for men... even though the CEO said he named the site Ashley Madison to cater to women... lol. and yes, there ARE fake accounts on there. for fun apparently... a lot of them were... bots really. it's crazy about the sister though :o so fucked up... and thank you! :D innocuous is... awesome :p

    • yup... bots... i dabbled around w/ one of those dating apps. . the second you sign on.. you have inaccessible messages from ladies. must pay to read them. LOL. i'm sorry, but in this world it's rare that a lady will inbox a random dude the second they come across their page. excuse me m'lady.. "yes, you piranhas who pick apart every statement directed towards women... women rarely 'approach' men online." anyways... bet u write a killer essay. =D

    • wow... seems like they're really preying off of dudes :x :x :x basically... we women suck lmao :p i kid... i do think we could tryyy to be more proactive about these things in general. i tryyy :D

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  • I take comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one who has ventured down the rabbit hole. I wonder if this is what dr. Seuss was talking about in "oh, the places you'll go". Ill have to look that up! Excellent take Miss Karahiri! :D

    • This is... TOTALLY what he was talking about :p Glad you liked it hehe :D :D

  • I got tired watching her show. It's really boring. "Chelsea Does Racism" is the worst. She's stubborn ("No, I'm not gonna pologize for my offensive joke! I joke about everyone!"). I wouldn't mind that if she knew what the hell she's talking about, but she doesn't. She debates about race, but she knows nothing about it. Plus, she's extremely awkward. You can feel the white guilt in the air, as she admitted herself.

    There's someone of every race and religion on the table, and she says to the black guy from NAACP "They say black men have big penises—that's a good stereotype, isn't it? It's a compliment."

    No, Chelsea, this stereotype goes all the way back to slavery days where black men were considered sex-crazed animals with big penises and endless stamina that were after the pure and respectable daughters and wives of their masters. In some states, sex between a white woman and black man was considered statuory rape, because they didn't want to believe any white woman would be willing to have sex with a black man. Your joke about black men's penises may be funny, but there's a reason that stereotype exists. There's hundreds of years of suffering behind it.

    • Yeah, I think she had to balance being a "real" person curious about these issues with bring a comedienne known for a blunt sense of humor. She did say some offensive things and seemed to miss some of the points the spokespeople were trying to make... but alas, that's part of the "comedy." I did read about that stereotype and the history behind it... it's unfortunate how long that stereotype has existed, and continues to exist :/

    • It was more uncomfortable than funny watching her rambling about something she didn't understand.

  • I just watched that last night too. I thought she went from likable during the relationship episode and race episode to a total bitch during the tech episode to sad in the drug episode.

    • I know lol. I think she was trying to be herself... but also maintain her edgy/rude/blunt sense of humor that makes her entertaining...

    • I think so too. But she just came off as 'get off my lawn' old. I think we Xers haven't come to grip with how short lived our relevance will be. We won't have the stage for 40+ years like the boomers

    • ha. i get what you mean. maybe some of that was exaggerated for effect... i'm not sure i'd want the stage for 40+ years anyway :x

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