Sexual Relationships
+1 y

10 Different Mindsets With Which Men Approach Sex

I get to have sex

Some men are just happy to be getting to have sex. Life is simple. You work hard, you're nice to people, and occasionally, an attractive woman wants to go home with you and you get to slip it in for an hour or so. Then you go back to your buddies, you feel like the man for a week or so and then you simply live an average life until the next chick comes along. Maybe this one you'll date...or not...you don't really worry about it.

I have to perform

Some men get really bogged down by sex as performance art. Usually this happens because they screwed some girl over and so as revenge they called him a lousy lay, or maybe he's just a bit less coordinated than the average guy and so he is actually a lousy lay. In any case, this guy feels he has something to prove and fears failing that sex is more of a fitness test than a pleasurable experience. Poor guy.

I get to give her the thrill of her life

Some men have the opposite problem. They somehow learned a few things that most guys don't know about great sex and got props on it from girl after girl after girl. Now they believe their God's gift to women and their confidence translates to sexual charisma.

This is love

Some guys girl will avoid if they're looking for a nice, quick, clean lay. This is why it's better to be a little cheeky and rude to girls sitting alone at a club--they're looking for a jerk who won't get attached and into them. They also could intimacy issues themselves (God forbid women actually have issues of their own and aren't perfect little dolls for male amusement.) In either case, this guy will have a hard time distinguishing love from just plain, nasty, sex.

I'm bored

This guy just is bored and so he calls a girl up to come over and he'll give her a good time. His narcissism and inability to be affected by her feminine guiles makes him irresitable in the most ironic way possible.

Other guys would think I'm awesome

This is the girl who's drop dead gorgeous that you know guys would be extremely jealous about. Even if they never see you with her...you'll you hooked up with her...you'll know.

10 Different Mindsets With Which Men Approach Sex

I'm getting my fix

Guys get this way a lot of the time from porn. They are so horny and are looknig for any girl who can satiate them until they need it again.

10 Different Mindsets With Which Men Approach Sex

Reaffirming identity

They want to be the guy who gets laid. It's very important to them on some level what others think and so as he's trying to convince himself that he's a player, he's forcing himself to be something he's not. A man should never have to try to act like himself. That is the biggest contradiction in terms.

Worship

They have pined for this girl for a long time and they finally get to see her naked. Dope.

10 Different Mindsets With Which Men Approach Sex

Hate

They hate this girl. They've argued. She makes him crazy. He releases the nexus of his fury into sex...great sex.

10 Different Mindsets With Which Men Approach Sex
1 2

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think these mindsets are correct, but of course some of your bias is in the commenting of these mindsets.

    You again have the impression that hate sex is great sex. That guys who don't give a damn about women are going to get a lot of females. That guys who show no emotion and has sex for the sole reason of "just something to do" are just sooo irresistible to females. Guys who are looking to please her, be nice to her, and love her are weak and repulsive to you.

    It's really a situational thing, which you did kinda point out with some of these. For instance the guy looking for a long term love (apparently) and a girl who's looking for a quick one nighter. In the right situation neither of these are negative in terms of successful partnership.

    That said hey people are going to have their biases. In a way it's a good thing, because it helps dictate what YOU yourself want. I know in my situation my mindset changes. Jumps between different ones. Sometimes I am glad I get to just have sex. Sometimes it does feel like I'm molding myself into my true identity. Who I really am. I don't think it's forceful, but hey I imagine some guys force themselves to be certain ways. Some probably force themselves to love someone in a monogamous relationship when they aren't really into them. Those guys can become cheaters.

    I'd like to create a separate paragraph for performance. Too many people out there think performance is "one size fits all" thing. Meaning if you're good to one girl or even two or even three that you're good to all of them. Nope. Not true. I've been saying this over and over and over again. It's mostly about compatibility. Doesn't matter what little "tricks" you know that particular girl may not like it. Now that said some guys really do get told by most girls they have sex with that they were great, and that may cloud their mind to think like you described. That they are "God's gift to the world". Also, I think a guy who worries about pleasing a girl isn't necessarily in a bad place. It really depends on how much he worries, which could be said for a lot of these. How heavy is that mindset, and does it work to your advantage or disadvantage?

    • One last comment about hate sex. Maybe I haven't met the right enemy but I can't bring myself up to bang my enemy. I can't. I hate her that much. She's so-so in attractiveness but I don't know maybe some of these people who are having hate sex don't truly hate that person. Just a thought. I'd like to finish by posting which mindsets I typically am in and/or which ones I am currently in. The one that's been nagging me the most lately is worship. There's definitely a girl out there who for a while now I've wanted to have sex with but can't. I guess there are times where the longer you spent away from someone the more you want them. There's a good chance what you described in the worship section happens. Then the 2nd biggest one is identity, which I already talked about some. The 3rd would be a mix between bored and getting a fix. Not bored in a sense that I can't just do shit at the house, but bored in a sense that I want to do some other things sometimes.

    • umm you mention the men that are Monogamous become cheaters back when I was just starting out when you've had time to get on the right track a long term relationship looks more and more good by the moment trust me

    • and you'll do anything for a girl that has a good heart and you wouldn't settle for a one night stand or a girl that has no depth perception they may look good but their minds are way screwed up

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • I love hate sex the most haha

    • haha its one of my faves too so cathartic

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

5 14

  • haha i get what you mean. personally speaking i had like those "i am bored" and "hate" categories. xD

  • I want love, worship, and hate al in one. :'(

    • greedy ! hahaa

    • Why hate?

    • @RosePink because... amazing sex.

  • of which mindset are you? I am betting number 1 with a little of 4,5 and six mixed in, no?

    • haha something like that maybe a little 3 in there too

    • ah, three is a little more altruistic:) kinda good of you.

  • I tend to be 2, 4, 8, and 9. For me, true love has always mattered more than sex.

  • Man, that's so true - hilarious!! Where's the tick all box?

  • May I ask if you read literotica? Your recent takes gave me the impression that you do.

    • i used to get girls turned on with dirty text messages back when i was a teenager so i kind of just developed it. lol.

    • LOL!@

  • Some of it is interesting, but it generalizes pretty heavily in an AskMen-type or Men's Health and Fitness prose. The part about performance is a little bit true, but it's not about us trying to overcompensate for any failure in bed, it's because society and women teaches guys that they're no good in bed and have to work at it, while we're taught that women are naturals at pleasing.

  • Never understood the last one. If I hate someone, the last thing I'd want to be doing is having sex with them! :/

  • Its like Michael Phelps Olympic swimming for me, I just show up ready to break records nomsayin?
    Lol

  • number 1 fits me most

  • Hate sex is the reason women pick fights with their bfs.

  • i feel secure about myself a little now because the face of the guy in the pic is just as big as the girl's, so small faced guys can also get laid, thanks man

  • Hi Ladies lm trying to socialize and am confused about what has become of mutually satisfying sexual affection?

  • this is so wrong lol

    • Lol I was looking for my reason in the 10 and it wasn't there. .

    • @Helpmeplease44 What's your reason?

  • I agree to some of that not it all

  • I could not understand the last point "Hate". Please kindly explain?

    • when you hate someone you can sort of get it out by having rough sex with them

    • It's strange because if I hate someone then I would not even touch him/her.

    • I think he means you hate them but 'sexually' attracted

    • Show All

  • 4, 7, and 9 for me ;)

  • I hear you that the guy who has a "worship" mindset is a dope, but man--with the girl you used to illustrate that one, I could hardly blame him! lol!

  • more and more diarrhea coming from pavlove. congrats. you are officially the male cosmopolitan equivalent... .

Home >  Sexual Relationships  > 10 Different Mindsets With Which Men Approach Sex